Belum
by Pelham Absalom
Summary: 1st fanfic. I own nothing but the characters I created. Just a little break from the angst of Jolie drama. Natalie is well adapted to the brooding John but how well can she cope with a man who is his polar opposite. Light fare. Reviews welcomed
1. Chapter 1

"Belum"

She was tired and distracted as she stopped at the red light. Her mind was overloaded and she wised that numbness would follow but instead she could feel the strain of every doubt and fear that coursed through her veins like static electricity. She loved him so much, had died when she thought he had lost him and when by some miracle he had been brought back to her she had sworn she would never take another moment for granted. But fate was fickle and cruel and now it seemed like she had gotten him back only to lose him to anger and resentment.

She understood his frustration. She wished that she could somehow make him see that she needed to be there to take care of him for herself as much as for him. She wanted him safe and well but she also needed the reassurance that he was really there. Alive and there for her to touch anytime she wanted. She needed to remind herself of that over and over otherwise it felt like a dream she was in danger of waking from. She needed to be near him and he wanted her to leave. She had always been willing to accept him and whatever he had to offer but she wished that just once . . .

She pushed the thought from her mind as a car pulled along side of her. She glanced at the other driver out of a natural response but he barely registered on her consciousness. She did notice that there seemed to be a spark of recognition in his eyes as he turned to look at her at the same time but then the light changed and he pulled forward. She hesitated at the light, her mind still on John and their last argument. She watched in helpless shock as another car ran the light and slammed into the side of the vehicle that had just pulled out. She couldn't hear anything at first except the deafening sound of twisting metal and shattering glass. The silence afterward was even more frightening silence.

Natalie dialed 911 as she climbed out of her car. She rushed over to the car and leaned in through the shattered window. She placed her fingers against his neck and breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the steady pulse.

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me?" She said while listening to the 911 operator. His eyes fluttered open and he turned toward the sound of her voice. His eyes focused on her face and he smiled. "Since when do you call me sir?'

She ignored his rambling as the operator gave her instructions. "You've been in an accident but help is on the way. Just stay calm."

"You really should get off these train tracks. It's not safe."

"You're not on any train tracks."

"Then how did I get hit by a train."

"You weren't hit by a train."

"Are you sure?" He looked around him curiously. "It really felt like a train." He didn't seem frightened or even overly concerned. He turned to look at Natalie again and he reached out to gently touch her cheek. "I have always loved you."

"So, he's going to be okay?" Natalie asked.

"A broken leg and a mild concussion, buy, yeah he's gong to be fine." Michael nodded. "He would like to see you."

"Me? Why?"

"Well he was just in a serious accident and you are the Good Samaritan who stayed with him until the ambulance came. I'm sure he would probably like to thank you."

A man who was grateful for her help? That would be a novel concept. "Yeah, but Michael . . ."

"What?"

"He's a little weird."

"He was probably just in shock. People say some crazy things after a traumatic event." Michael assured her.

She rolled her eyes but stepped reluctantly into the hospital room. She hesitated before stepping in remembering the last time she was in one of these rooms, seeing John covered in bandages, not knowing if . . .

"Hey, check it out, the wonders of modern technology. You can get hit by a train and not even have to miss an episode of Desperate Housewives."

Natalie was surprised that he was not only so alert but that he was in such good spirits. She could only imagine that they were giving him some really good medication. The thought actually crossed her mind that she should ask Michael what they were prescribing him.

"It's a re-run." She commented, glancing at the television screen.

"Really? Damn!" He switched off the set and shrugged. "I'll just wait for the boxed set."

"Dr. McBain said you wanted to see me."

"Yes. Please." He motioned for her to take the chair by his bed. She hesitated but finally sat down beside him.

"My name is Curran." He told her as if he expected the name to mean something to her.

"Unusual name." She nodded.

"It's Irish. It means hero."

"And are you?"

"Irish or a hero?

"Either."

"One never knows." He grinned and she almost smiled back. He was handsome in a boyish way, his dark blonde hair was tousled and he had beautiful yes the color of hazelnut but it was his smile that drew you in. He had a smile that was full of warmth and humor. He smiled as if he were letting you in on a secret.

"My name is Natalie."

"Natalie." He repeated softly but with a tone that suggested that her name was just what he had expected. She wondered again if he thought they knew each other, "Natalie, can I ask you a personal question?"

"You can but keep in mind that you all ready have one broken leg."

He smiled but then studied her seriously. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"

She didn't even respond at first thinking that surely he was joking and when she realized he was serious she couldn't help laughing anyway. "No, I don't. Was that all because I really should be . . ."

He looked only slightly disappointed. "It's okay. I didn't think you would. You've always been a skeptic. "He muttered more to himself than to her. He looked up at her and smiled. "I never believed in it either."

"But now you do?" She asked wondering why she was still here listening to this rambling.

"Yes, the moment I saw you at that red light. I knew."

"You knew what?"

"I knew." He said leaning toward her. "I knew you. I knew I had known you before even though I was also certain that we had never met."

She remembered what he had said to her after the crash. "You mean you think we . . ."

"We were meant to find each other again. I've been looking for a long time and didn't even know. I just thought . . ."

"You realize that this is crazy."

"You never believe. You know I think that's why we work. You know like Scully and Mulder. I don't know why I have to get hit by a train to . . ."

"You were not hit by a train." Natalie interrupted him. "Look, I don't know if it's the trauma of the accident or the drugs you're on but this is nuts. I mean just what do you think is going to happen. You think we're going to just get together now." She said and the slightly sheepish look he gave her told her that was exactly what he was thinking. "You're crazy." She told him but still made no move to leave.

"I prefer quirky or eccentric. You'll learn to love that about me."

"I will not learn to love anything about you. I do not and will never love you. I'm in love with someone else. Do you understand?"

"Belum." He said

"Excuse me."

"I read a lot. It's one of the things you'll learn to love about me." He told her

"Maybe I should call the doctor."

He leaned closer and held her eyes with his own. His voce was warm and tender, captivating. "In Indonesia they consider it rude and cynical to give straight no answers. They refer a word that conveys hope and possibility. Belum. It means "not quite yet" do you know where your life is going? Belum Do you know what tomorrow will bring? Belum. Do you love me? Belum."

"I get it." She said as she stared into his eyes. She should go. She should just walk right out the door. John would be. . . John! The thought of him snapped her back to reality. "I have to go."

"Does he make you happy, Natalie?" He asked as her hand touched the doorknob.

She thought about John and all they had been through since their first fateful meeting. She had no idea why she did it but she told this strange man the truth, "Belum."


	2. Chapter 2

"Maybe one of us should move out."

Natalie stared at him in stunned disbelief. She couldn't believe he would even suggest such a thing, no matter how tough things had been lately. How could he? After all they had been through; after all she had been through. They had been given a second chance to be together and instead he wanted her gone.

"If I leave, that's it. I'm not coming back." She warned him.

"You know how I feel about ultimatums."

She didn't know how to tell him it wasn't an ultimatum because that would mean she thought it might change his mind, but in her heart she knew that even the threat of her leaving for good wouldn't be enough for him to ask her to stay. It never had been. Nothing had changed.

They exchanged more heated words before she had finally stormed out of the room. She sat in her car for a long time not knowing where to go. For her everything was always about John and is she wasn't there taking care of him than she had no idea what to do with herself.

She finally decided to drive by the hospital so she could talk to Michael. If anyone could understand what she was going through with John it was his brother, but when she got there Michael was nowhere to be found. She leaned against the wall outside one of the waiting rooms wondering just what she was supposed to do now. Llanfair seemed to be the only option but she wasn't looking forward to explaining to her family that John didn't want her living with him anymore. She headed for the exit feeling completely dejected and lost.

"Natalie! Hey, over here." Curran shouted from the waiting room, waving his arms around to get her attention.

She knew she should turn and leave as quickly as possible. She would only be encouraging him if she walked in there. She could just imagine how smug he would look, believing she hadn't been able to stay away from him after his revelations of their infinite love, but she found herself walking into the waiting room anyway. He smiled at her but there was no trace of arrogance. He was simply and genuinely glad to see her and for some reason that made her want to sit down and cry.

"This is my friend Tyler." He gestured toward a small boy of about six.

"Hello, Tyler."

"Do you want to play with us?" The boy asked, handing her a marker.

She hesitated but he looked at her so openly and earnestly that she took the marker and sat down across from him. "What are we playing?"

"Tic Tac Toe. We can play right here on his leg. He doesn't mind." Tyler said as he proceeded to draw the familiar game board on to Curran's cast. Natalie glanced up at Curran but he just shrugged. "Watch out for him. He cheats."

"That's my Mom and Dad over there." Tyler informed her as he concentrated on printing his X in the center square. She glanced across the room and gave the couple a wave. "We're just waiting on my Grandpa. He had a . . . coloscopy."

Natalie thought about this for a moment. "A colonoscopy."

"That's what I said."

"Oh, I hope he's okay."

"Oh yeah, Grandma says the doctors confirmed what she has known all along."

"What's that?" Natalie asked

"That Grandpa is a perfect asshole." He replied innocently.

"Tyler!" his mother admonished and Natalie had to turn her head into Curran's arm to keep from laughing.

Tyler sighed. "My Grandma is always getting me into trouble."

"I'm really looking forward to meeting her." Curran said.

They played a few more rounds of Tic Tac Toe before the infamous Grandmother came to collect Tyler and his parents. Natalie put their markers away and glanced at Curran's cast. "We've really made a mess of your leg." She said looking at the various games and drawings on his cast.

"I think I'll save it. I could always sell it as abstract art." He looked at her and smiled. "I'm really glad you're here." He said softly.

Natalie quickly glanced at her watch. "I really should be going."

But I have something for you. It's in my room." He said and she raised her eyebrows. "Come on I could come up with a better pick up line than that." He laughed. "This is perfectly innocent. You can trust me."

She knew she shouldn't. She shouldn't be going anywhere with this guy but they were in a hospital and he as in a cast. What harm could there be in it and what did she have to do anyway but return to a home where she wasn't wanted. "Fine, but I'm driving." She said, pushing his wheelchair toward his room.

"Are you insulting my driving now?" He pouted. "Because it wasn't my fault. Besides, we're not likely to encounter any trains here."

"You were not hit by a train." She rolled her eyes. "I think Michael needs to examine your head again."

"He's all ready examined my head, inside and out."

"And he didn't find a thing."

"Exactly." He laughed.

Natalie wheeled him into his room and he handed her a book with a large yellow bow from the gift shop affixed to the cover. "It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It" She looked at him curiously as she read the title.

"Robert Fulghum." He nodded. "He's one of my favorites. He has the ability to see the significance in the simple. I marked the chapter on Belum for you."

She turned toward the back of the book where he had placed a bookmark. She turned the bookmark over in her hand and stared at the image embossed on its surface. The picture depicted an elderly couple walking hand In hand down a wooded path. A few lined of poetry adorned the bottom of the bookmark. _"Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be."_

"You always loved Browning." Curran said absently and then visible cringed, knowing immediately that he had said the wrong thing.

"For your information I know absolutely nothing about poetry." She told him tossing the bookmark aside. She was surprised by the hurt look that passed over his face and she was sorry she had been so harsh.

"I'm sorry. Really I am. I never meant to upset you." He said.

"It's okay. I guess I'm just a little on edge these days."

He rolled his wheelchair closer and looked into her eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, Natalie."

She had no idea what it was about this man that made her open up to him so easily. He just seemed to care so much and he seemed to understand what she was feeling even when she didn't know herself. "I'm scared." She admitted quietly. "I'm so scared. All the time."

Curran hesitantly reached out for her hand. There was nothing inappropriate about his touch. He was simply reaching out to comfort her and she hadn't felt that in so long that she responded by telling him everything.

"For what it's worth." He said when she was through. "I don't think he's really angry at you. I think he's just angry and frustrated, maybe he's scared too. We lash out at the people we love because we trust that they will forgive us for it. Maybe he only asked you to leave because in his heart he knew you never would."

She stared at him for a moment "Are you channeling Dr. Phil now?" She said but smiled.

"I certainly hope not." He glanced down at his chest as if expecting to re-enact a moment from Alien and she couldn't help but laugh. When she left John's room this morning she thought she would never feel good again, but talking with Curran had really helped. "Okay, that's enough about me. You know every detail of my sordid life. What about you?" She glanced around his room and noticed there were no cards or flowers. "What about your family or friends?'

"No, I move around a lot. I came here for a job interview, which I landed. I was just heading back to my old place to clear out my things and tie up some loose ends when there was the train incident."

"There was no . . ." She shook her head; giving up pointing out there had been no train. "So, where is your old place?"

"Tennessee."

"Tennessee? What are you going to do? You're not going to be able to get back there with a broken leg and no car."

He shrugged. "Maybe you could drive me."

"What?'

"Sure. It makes sense really. I mean if we have this whole divine infinity thing going on it makes sense that we spend some time together. Get to know each other in this life." His eyes were as bright and mischievous as Tyler's had been.

"I thought maybe your head had cleared and you had dropped this whole reincarnation idea."

"Come on. It will be fun."

"In case you have forgotten I have a boyfriend who needs me."

"He needs a break from you anyway." Curran said dismissively.

She might have gotten angry except there was no malice in his word. His face was serious but there was humor and warmth in his eyes that made you feel good just being with him. She finally laughed and he grinned at her.

"You're nuts."

"You'll learn to love that about me." He said, softly and she knew that now he wasn't teasing. The gentleness of his voice and the warmth of his eyes could so easily draw her in and she almost responded with Belum when she noticed Michael standing in the doorway. She felt suddenly awkward, as if she had been caught in the act.

"Hey, Nat. One of the nurses said you were looking for me."

"Yeah." She glanced at Curran, remembering his advice. "But I think I'm good now. And I really should be getting home."

"Okay." Michael said slowly, staring at Curran... "Tell John I will come by later."

She nodded as she took the book Curran had giver her and left the room. Michael watched her leave and then turned to Curran.

"She's been through a lot." Curran commented, seeming to read his thoughts."

"Yes she has."

"Don't worry, Mike. She just needs a change. And I change everything."." He assured him, gently

Natalie put her key in the door feeling as is she were ready to take on anything John had to throw at her. The talk she had with Curran had made her feel strong again, it had given her hope back. They could get through this. They could work this out and get back everything they had lost.

She had not expected to hear Marty Saybrooke's voice behind his closed door and she certainly had not expected to hear him confide to the shrink, who had gotten his father's killer out of his murder trial, that he no longer trusted Natalie. She couldn't even begin to define what she felt as she listened to him open up to this woman. She felt hurt and betrayed. She felt lost. She had always known her place before in John's life, even when he had been with Evangeline. Natalie was the one who understood him, she was the one who accepted him as he was and never tried to change him, she was the one he trusted. Now all she could do was stand there and listen to him tell her that none of those things were true. So who was she now? Where was her place?

When she couldn't listen anymore she fled to her car and just sat there, her hands on the steering wheel and no where to go. She had been in this place too many times in her life. Her mind replayed everything she had just heard until she just couldn't take it anymore. She finally reached for her keys; still lying somewhere in her purse and she knocked the book Curran had given her to the floor. The bookmark had fallen out and she picked it up, reading the verse out loud. "Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be." She closed her eyes and let her mind wander.

"Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hands. Who saith, ""A whole I planned, Youth shows but half, trust God: see all, nor be afraid."

She opened her eyes again, feeling calmer. Growing up with Roxy in Atlantic City had not exactly lent itself to literary pursuits. She knew that she didn't know this poem. Except that somehow she did.

The sun had just started to stream through the windows when Natalie marched into Curran's room and unceremoniously tossed his discharge papers at him. "Come on. Let's go." She said and with no further explanation she began to toss his things into a duffel bag.

He watched her silently, a bemused smile on his face but not surprised to see her. He didn't ask her any questions. In fact he knew to keep his mouth shut. He just stayed out of her way and signed his discharge papers.

"Snoopy?"

He glanced up to see her holding up a pair of silk boxer shorts. "Not just Snoopy. That's the World War I flying ace."

"What am I doing?" She asked herself as Curran watched her with a grin plastered across his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters portrayed on One Life to Live. However, I do own several of the characters depicted in this fanfic

Author's note: I just wanted to extend my sincere thanks to those who have read this story and especially to those who have reviewed it. I appreciate your kind remarks. I have never attempted anything like this before and your remarks have been quite encouraging. Hope you enjoy.

"What are you doing?" Natalie asked herself for what seemed like the hundredth time. She must be crazy. Why else would she be driving to Tennessee with a man she barely knew when she should be at home with John? She had been angry and hurt when she picked Curran up at the hospital, but that was no excuse. John needed her and now all she wanted was to do was to get this trip over with as soon as possible.

"Your exit is coming up.", Curran said cautiously. She glared at him and he quickly turned his attention back to the book he was reading. He had been as excited as a child when they started their journey but as the full impact of what she had done began to weigh on her his constant chattering had threatened to break her all ready strained nerves. He had sensed her growing hostility and retreated behind the pages of his book.

She glanced at him as he shifted restlessly in his seat and it occurred to her that it had been awhile since their last stop and he was probably getting uncomfortable. She saw a place she could pull over at one of those scenic lookouts for tourists.

"Thanks." He smiled gratefully when she stopped the car.

""You could have just asked or are you another one of those men who would rather suffer than ask for help."

He gave her a bemused smile. "To be honest I felt that in your current mood you might find it more convenient to remove the leg rather than to accommodate it, since I am still rather fond of it, and other appendages, I thought it wiser to remain silent.'

She felt a flash of anger but as she turned to face him she saw the laughter lighting up his eyes. He had the most vibrant expressive eyes she had ever seen. They hid nothing and she felt her anger and tension melt away. She finally gave him an embarrassed laugh.

"I'm sorry. I know it was my idea to drive you. It's just that now I don't know what I could have been thinking."

"I assumed it was my irresistible charm."

"Sure." She pulled her cell phone out to make sure her battery wasn't dead and she was getting a signal. She had left John a message before they left saying simply that she was driving a friend home from the hospital. She thought he would have called her by now.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah.", she forced a smile as she tossed the phone back into her purse, "Ready?'

Natalie was no longer agitated but she was distracted as they resumed their journey. Curran cast her a couple of furtive glances before finally speaking. "I wouldn't worry. We left really early and he probably just hasn't noticed you're gone", he said helpfully and then saw the look that she shot him. "I'm sorry. That is not how I thought that would sound."

"No. You're probably right. I mean I told him I was driving a friend home and he had no reason to worry. He has a lot on his mind right now. His recovery is not progressing as quickly as he would like and then Marty Saybrooke shows up, declares that Spencer Truman is incompetent to stand trial. He would be in prison by now if it weren't for her, and John and I would be starting our lives together." Natalie realized that she was not only babbling but she was once again revealing her personal life to a virtual stranger. Her embarrassment turned to anger when she saw the look of skepticism that flashed in his eyes.

"What is that look?"

"Look?'

"Yes, that look. I know you have some wild delusion that you and I were once together but what John and I have is real."

"I believe you."

""You have a but."

He raised an eyebrow "Most people do."

"You know what I mean."

"I just don't think you should rest your hopes on Truman's conviction bringing John the peace you believe that he is seeking."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He sighed as if he were reluctant to tell her a truth he knew would only hurt her. "I don't think it will be over for him. I don't think he will ever be able to let go."

"His father was murdered."

"His father was murdered twenty-five years ago."

Natalie looked at him in disbelief. "Like that makes a difference. It was his father."

"Yes, and he's been using it as his excuse to keep people at a comfortable distance ever since. He's not going to just let go of that shield now.'

"Are you saying he shouldn't seek justice for his father?'

"Of course no. He should seek it, pursue it and long for it"

"Now you're contradicting yourself."

"I'm just saying that we can't allow our grief for a lost loved one to prevent us from holding the people in our lives even closer. I mean he puts everyone else in his life on hold so that he can seek vengeance. That's not honor. That's selfishness."

"Selfishness? He was just a little boy and he saw his father die. You have no idea what that meant to him."

"I don't mean to sound callous but the purpose of loss is to teach us to not take each other for granted. You can't push the people in your life to the side to make room for the dead. We honor the dead but we cherish the living. You shouldn't have to die to get his attention, Natalie."

She felt a sudden chill at his words but she wasn't angry. She knew that he truly believed what he was saying and in spite of his assertion that they were once in love she knew that he wasn't trying to put John down for any ulterior motives. He was sincere and she could tell that his concern was not just for her but for John also.

"I don't think I want to talk about this anymore."

"I'm sorry. Really. Please, no more silent treatment. I could read to you or . . . Oh, you know what, it's time for the Hawaiian Honky Tonk Happy Hour." He said, adjusting the radio.

"Oh God." She groaned.

"You don't like country music?"

"You mean you didn't know that."

"I guess it never came up." He said nonchalantly. ""Just think of some of the great stuff country music has given us. Let's see, there's I'm Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home, You Took my Heart and Stomped that Sucker Flat and the classic You're the Reason Our Kids are Ugly."

"You are not right." She laughed.

"I promise you they are all real songs."

Natalie was surprised at how easily they fell into a comfortable companionship after the emotional conversation. The rest of the trip passed by quickly as he read to her from the Robert Fulghum book he had given her or they just talked about nothing at all. She was almost sad when he directed her into a gravel parking lot in front of a small store.

"This is it. This is where you work." She asked him doubtfully as she helped him out of the car

"Yeah, isn't it great?"

The store was something out of a Norman Rockwell painting complete with a front porch equipped with the finest of rocking chairs and a battered checkerboard resting on an old wooden barrel.

"I think I saw this on an episode of the Twilight Zone. Let me guess, when we leave here all roads will lead us back to this store." Natalie said and he laughed as he tried to hold the door open for her while balancing his crutches.

The building was just as nostalgic on the inside. The floor was made of wide wooden planks worn smooth by many years of customer traffic. The smell of fresh produce mingled with the not unpleasant must of time and the counter was lined with jars of candy.

"Curran? We were beginning to think you were dead and from the looks of you I don't think we were far off. What the hell happened to you?"

He gave Natalie a hopeful glance and she sighed as she answered for him. "He got hit by a train."

"Natalie, this is Sam. He's the local constable." Curran told her.

""It's nice to meet you, young lady." He greeted her warmly.

"Is Perry around?"

Sam nodded. "Here he comes now."

Curran quickly opened the door for a man carrying a box of tomatoes. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked, not surprised to see Curran at all.

"Got hit by a train." He shrugged.

"Really? I knew a man who hit a train once. The fool was so drunk he thought he could make it between the cars if he just timed it right." The man said as he stopped in front of Natalie, smiling expectantly.

"Perry, this is my . . ." He glanced at Natalie. "This is my friend, Natalie."

She could have sworn she saw a look of understanding pass between the two men. "It's nice to fin . . . it's nice to meet you, Natalie." Perry smiled and then leaned closer to Curran "Well worth being hit by a train for if you ask me."

Perry put his tomatoes down on the counter. ""Well, you're here just in time. We start inventory tomorrow."

Natalie looked at him in surprise. "I don't think you understand. We're just here to . . .'

"Now don't worry, Natalie. It's very simple. We'll be done in no time."

Natalie glanced at Curran who not only showed no intentions of straightening out this misunderstanding but seemed quite excited by the prospect.

"If you think for one minute I'm . . ."

"Well, of course not. Curran will be in his apartment and you will be staying with me and Sarah."

"No, no . . ."

"Don't worry, you wont be putting us out at all. Sarah will be glad to have a young un around the house again. We'll look out for you just like you were one of our own." He assured her and actually rumpled her hair "Before we leave I have a job that I think is perfectly suited for an invalid.

"But, I'm . . ." Natalie started to object but Perry had all ready led Curran out the door. "Hello am I even here." She said in frustration.

"I wouldn't fight it if I were you, darlin'. You could try to make a run for it but all roads lead to here." Sam teased as he took his hat from a hook by the door and left her alone.

Natalie pulled her cell phone out of her bag and stared at it in confusion when she saw she had a voice mail. How had she missed the call? She smiled when she heard John's voice but that quickly faded as she listened to his message.

"Key, it's me. I just wanted to say thank you. I know I haven't been very easy to live with lately and I appreciate your understanding that I just needed some space. I'll see you soon.

Natalie clicked the phone off in disbelief. Curran had been wrong. John had noticed she was gone but had mistaken her absence as respect for his privacy. He actually sounded relieved that she wasn't there.

"Well, young lady, are you ready to go?" Perry asked as he stepped back inside.

Natalie didn't hesitate. "Sure. I don't have anywhere I have to be."


	4. Chapter 4

"How long could it possibly take?"

That's what she had told herself when they arrived at the store early that morning. The entire building couldn't be more than a thousand square feet. They would be out of there in not time.

She glanced at her watch now and saw that it was nearly noon and they had accomplished almost nothing. Perry didn't get into a hurry to do anything and ran the store like a redneck boy's club. He spent most of his time discussing the finer points of NASCAR.

"How are you doing?" Curran asked, leaning against the counter.

"We are staying until four o'clock. After that he can count his own damn peas." She informed him and he just smiled.

"Perry believes in keeping a relaxed atmosphere in the workplace."

"The most constructive thing I've seen him do all day is mangle this newspaper." She held up the remains of the local newspaper that was now missing several articles. "Is he making a collage?"

"He likes to save the articles that catch his attention." Curran shrugged. "If you ask him I'm sure he would show you his collection.'

"What I want him to do is . . ." Natalie started to say but was interrupted when an elderly woman stepped into the store.

"Good morning, Mrs. Campbell." Curran greeted her warmly

"Curran. My goodness, what happened to you?"

"Just a little accident. I think Perry has your order ready."

"I've got it right here." Perry came from the back with a box of groceries and placed it on the counter. His wife Sarah had came by with lunch and she offered to ring up the order while Perry carried her order out to her car. Natalie had like Sarah immediately. Natalie would have preferred to check into a hotel the night before but Perry had insisted she stay with them and Sarah hadn't seemed to be the least bit surprised when he brought home a complete stranger. She had welcomed Natalie warmly and made her feel at home.

Sarah made a show of writing out her receipt and giving her the total. "I'll just put it on your bill and we'll settle up at the first of the first of the month like usual."

Natalie was watching Sarah and as soon as the old woman was out the door she wadded up her receipt and threw it in the trash. She smiled when she saw Natalie watching her. "There are two things that lady has plenty of, kindness and pride. The two things that she is lacking are money and a good memory. She would never take charity from me so we both just sort of forget when the first of the month comes around."

"That's really nice of you."

"No, not at all." She patted her hand. "Now, don't you let these boys get away with being lazy today."

"I'll try."

"Do you need anything before I go?

"I'm fine. Thank you." Natalie watched Sarah drive away distractedly only to turn and find Curran standing next to her holding out a paper plate with some sort of gooey mess.

You really should try this."

"What is it?'

"A Moon Pie. I put it in the microwave."

She took the plate dubiously and sat it to the side. "Curran, how long have you worked here?"

"About six months."

"Do you think Sarah seems sad?'

Curran looked at her thoughtfully before finally nodding. "I do if you do."

She started to ask him what kind of answer that was but Sam came through the door carrying a stack of mail. "Perry, are you finally going to build on to the store. Maybe a room for a pool table?"

"Huh?"

"Well, this looks like the kind of container they send blueprints in." He handed him a long cardboard cylinder tube.

"No, this is from that medical school. It's been almost a year now and they keep sending us stuff."

"That's the school your wife's aunt went to?" Sam asked.

"She didn't attend the school. She donated her body to some research program they have there."

"Don't say it that way, it gives me the creeps."

"She donated her body to science? I think that's pretty noble, to give of yourself so that future generations can have a better quality of life." Natalie said.

"I don't mind giving of myself but you have to draw a line somewhere. I'll just write a check."

"I'm sure the scientific community wouldn't have it any other way." Natalie said and Perry smiled. "Was your wife very close to her aunt?"

"Well, Rebecca got married at eighteen, before Sarah was even born. Her husband was a very wealthy man and they traveled a lot so we hardly ever saw her so no I wouldn't say they were especially close but her death has certainly hit Sarah hard. She's been, I don't know, moody ever since." He explained.

"I met Becky a few times. She was a fine looking woman." Sam said

"I remember she used to beat you at poker."

"She beat everyone at poker." He shrugged. "She had a full life though."

"Yeah, I suppose so." Perry said, tossing the container on to the counter.

* * *

Natalie glanced at the clock as she waited impatiently for John to pick up the phone. She knew he wasn't supposed to leave the apartment yet but she tried not to panic as she waited for the sound of his voice. She breathed a sigh of relief when he finally picked up the phone.

"John, where were you? I was beginning to get worried."

"Is that why you're calling, to make sure I haven't tried to break out of my cage." He snapped.

"No, that's not why I called but you're not supposed to be out of the apartment yet and . . ." She knew she should shut up right then but she had just been so scared when she had called and there was no answer. She had thought for one terrible moment that she might never hear the sound of his voice again.

"Natalie, don't do this." John warned and she tried to regain her composure. Physical therapy, remember."

"Of course, I'm sorry." She said frustrated her own stupidity. She turned and saw Curran sitting across from Sam, the checkerboard between them and he seemed to be smiling at something Sam was saying but his eyes never left her. She should tell him to mind his own business but his gaze didn't feel like an invasion, if anything his eyes always had a calming effect on him.

"I just wanted to call to tell you that I should be home soon. I got a little held up taking that friend home from the hospital."

"Yeah, just where does this friend live anyway?"

"I don't know. Mayberry I think."

"Mayberry?" She heard that small hint of amusement in his tone that always softened his voice and she finally smiled. "Maybe I'll bring home some of Aunt Bea's apple pie."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

"I love you, John."

"Me too."

"Everything okay?" Curran asked after she had closed the phone.

"Yeah, everything is good. But I really need to get home now." She told him, anxious to get back to where she belonged. "I just . . . What the hell was that?" She asked as something swooped down from the rafters just over their heads.

"That is a really big bat." Curran said, examining the large bat that had landed on

A box of Cheerios and was now squeaking angrily at them as if demanding them out of its store. Natalie moved behind him, using him as a shield.

"Curran, get that front door open. Sam, you get the broom and we'll see if we can't scare the nasty little beast out of here."

"How come Curran gets the door and I have to deal with the flying rat."

"Never send a boy to do a man's job, Sam."

Sam grunted as he moved cautiously toward the bat and Natalie moved closer to Curran, holding on to the back of his shirt. Sam swatted at the bat with the broom, hoping to scare it toward the door but the bat was not very receptive to the idea of being thrown out of its new home so soon and it swooped over their heads like a dive bomber.

"Watch out, Perry. He's coming your way."

Perry let out a yell and grabbed the only weapon within his reach, the cardboard tube from the medical school, which connected with the deranged bat with a loud thud. "Line drive to the stock room." He threw his hands up in triumph and at that moment realized that the lid of the tube had come off in the fray.

"What the hell did you hit that bat with, a bag of flour." Sam sputtered as he tried to wipe off the powdery substance that had come out of the tube.

No one spoke for a moment and when Sam looked up he found the other three staring at him with horrified expressions on their faces. "What's the matter? Do I have bat guts on me?"

"Holy Mary Mother of God." Curran whispered as Natalie finally stepped out from behind him."

"It's Aunt Becky."

"Sam stared at them blankly for a moment and then comprehension began to shine in his eyes. He let out a shriek and started trying to unbutton his shirt.

"No!" Natalie and Perry yelled at the same time.

"Try not to move. We have to save as much of her as possible." Natalie ordered.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have some old ladies ashes up your nose. If I sneeze I'm going straight to hell I just know it."

"I never thought my forensic training would come in handy in quite this way. "Natalie said as she and Perry uses small paint brushes to dust off as much of the fine ash from Sam's clothes as they could.

"This is unbelievable." Perry said. "I mean who just puts a person in a tube and mails it to you and then doesn't even warn you that they're coming. I didn't even have to sign for this."

'I think that's all of her." Natalie announced and they stared solemnly at the pile of ashes on the floor. "What are you going to do with her now?'

"Take it home! For god's sake, take it home." Sam shuddered.

"Are you crazy? I can't take her home like this. What am I supposed to tell Sarah? Sorry, honey, we spilled your aunt but I think we got most of her back except for what Sam blew out into a Kleenex.'

"It wasn't my fault. You shot her out of that think like a cannon."

"Gentleman, I think the most important thing we can do right now is finding somewhere to put her before anything else happens." Curran said, calmly

"I think I have something that will work." Perry said and disappeared in to office. They heard the sounds of his rummaging and then finally he returned with an old humidor. "I bought it at an estate sale a long time ago. I thought it would give the store a little class. It keeps cigars fresh."

"I don't think you have to worry about her going stale, Perry." Natalie pointed out as she carefully began to move the ashes to the makeshift urn.

"This is just temporary. I'll just call around tomorrow and find her a proper urn. Then I can explain it to Sarah." Perry said as he collapsed into one of the rocking chairs "I'm sorry, you two. I know you really wanted to head back to Pennsylvania tonight."

Natalie glanced at her watch and was shocked by how late it was. There was nothing she wanted more than to get home to john but after what they had been through she wasn't going to take any chances by driving so far at night "And what about . . ." she tapped the side of the humidor."

"Oh just bring it back here. I know a place I can hide it." He led her back to the stock room and they laid Aunt Becky to rest behind the cases of Yoo Hoo.

* * *

"Tea?" Curran handed her a glass and then eased himself down on the front steps of Perry and Sarah's front porch.

"I have been sitting here for twenty minutes and every car that passes by waves at me like they know me."

"I know, that's one of the things I love about the South."

"I don't understand it, Curran. You love it here and Perry and Sarah obviously adore you so why did you decide to leave?"

"Because you weren't here." He said simply

"I've been thinking about your whole reincarnation thing." She told him in an effort to change the subject.

"And you're finally coming around to my way of thinking?" He smiled

"What if the bat was Aunt Becky?" She asked ignoring him.

Of course not." He laughed

"Why not? I mean the bat did show up at the same time as her ashes."

Because that doesn't happen."

"You said you believed in reincarnation. Do you think she was too good of a person to come back as a bat?"

"I said that we had been reincarnated."

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you don't believe that everyone doesn't get reincarnated?"

"Of course not. I'm a Baptist."

She stared at him completely dumbfounded for a moment "A Baptist. That doesn't even make any sense.'

"I don't believe that everyone gets to come back. I think we're a special case. I'm not entirely sure but I think it was a reward for something we did."

"A reward." She laughed. "What did we do that was so great?"

Curran shrugged. "I don't know, helping people, like we did today."

"Are you trying to tell me that of all the souls in the world we were chosen to come back so that we could be in this time and in this place to sweep up that old lady's ashes?"

"Mysterious way, you know." He said and they both laughed. "You have more power than you know, Natalie."

"What are we superheroes now?"

"The new Spiderman movie is coming out soon so I guess that has me speaking in Marvelisms."

"You should be locked away somewhere with a nice padded room so you can't hurt yourself." She teased him and was surprised when his face turned serious.

"I don't understand all of this either. All I know is that sometime very long ago I was set apart for you. Do you know understand what that means? I was set apart for you..." His voice was gentle but convicted and when she looked into his eyes she could almost . . .

"Curran, I think you're . . . unusual but I am in love with John." She said slowly.

"I know. I know you love him and I know that he loves you but my question is, do you like who you are when you're with him?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"An honest question. Who are you in John McBain's world?"

Natalie rubbed her palms nervously against the legs of her jeans. "You know, I really should be going to bed. We have to leave early tomorrow." She said, getting to her feet.

"Okay, but could you . . ." He gave her a sheepish look and gestured toward his plaster encased leg. She finally reached out a hand and helped him to his feet. For a brief moment they stood there together with their hands entwined and it occurred to Natalie that she hadn't felt anything so intimate in a long time. She quickly pulled her hand away, wished him goodnight and retreated inside.

She took out her phone to call john but decided that it was too late. He needed his rest and how was she going to explain why she wasn't home yet anyway. Between Aunt Becky's ashes and her conversation with the Baptist Buddhist Bumpkin she was exhausted. She lay down on the bed but Curran's words kept repeating themselves in her head.

"I was set apart for you. Do you understand what that means? I was set apart for you."


	5. Chapter 5

"Good morning." Curran greeted her early the next day. He was sitting at the dining room table as Sarah was bustling around the kitchen

"Natalie, feel free to help yourself to some breakfast. I know you wanted to get an early start but I just wanted to get some sandwiches and things together for you. I will be done in no time."

"Thank you, but you really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble."

"It's no trouble. I don't want you having to stop at those fast food places. You know they can fuel a car on what they cook that food in. What does that tell you?"

"This from a southern woman. I thought you deep fried anything that couldn't out run you."

"You'd better behave yourself if you want dessert in your future." She patted his head affectionately.

"Sarah was just showing me some family pictures." He held the album up for her to see. "This is her Aunt Rebecca."

Natalie sat down beside him and studied the picture curiously. She found it hard to reconcile the small pile of ashes from yesterday with the vibrant woman frozen in time in the photograph. Aunt Becky had been an attractive woman with a natural grace and dignity that came through even in the old black and white photograph. Natalie imagined she had been an imposing woman. "Wow, this is amazing." She said, mostly to herself.

"I know, didn't you imagine she would be taller." Curran said and she kicked him under the table.

"Ow! Come on, that was my good leg."

"What was that?" Sarah called from the kitchen.

"Nothing. We were just wondering where this picture was taken?"

"Greece, I think." Sarah said after examining the picture. "I get confused sometimes. I don't think there was anywhere she hadn't been and I've never been further away than Virginia."

"That was far enough." Perry muttered as he joined them. He tossed Natalie's car keys on the table. "I went ahead and filled your tank. Hope you don't mind."

"Thanks."

"So what are we looking at?" He glanced over Natalie's shoulder and grimaced. "Oh, Lord."

"She used to send me postcards from all the places she had been. People and places I couldn't even imagine." Sarah was saying, a distant look in her eyes and Natalie again had the sense that something was wrong.

"She must have been a pretty amazing woman."

Sarah sighed. "Yes, she was."

"What was she like? Did she have a good sense of humor?'

"Oh yes. She was always laughing."

"That's good to know." Natalie had thought that maybe talking about her Aunt would help but instead she could see her becoming more melancholy, more withdrawn. Perry sensed it too and sought to change the subject.

"Look at this picture. This is forty five years of marriage." He said, proudly as he showed her a picture taken at an anniversary party the year before.

Natalie was surprised by the difference in the woman in the picture. Sarah had seemed to age in just one year and it was almost as if she were trying to look older than her years. She had let her hair go gray and was styling it in a more matronly fashion. Natalie could see she had even changed the way she dressed since the picture was taken.

Her eyes were as kind and gentle as ever but there was a light missing from them now and Natalie wondered what could have happened to her in one year

"Look at this." Perry drew her attention back to the album with a picture of Sarah when she was young. She was sitting on the hood of a black convertible and smiling. "That was Sarah's car. She was a bit of a wild woman when we were younger. She loved that car and it nearly bankrupted us in tickets."

"Really?"

"I have it on good authority she was even involved in a drag race or two." He told them and they laughed.

"Sarah, I never knew you had such a dangerous side." Curran teased.

"Yes, well that was a very long time ago." She said closing the photo album.

There was an awkward silence and then Natalie looked at her watch. "It's getting late. We really should be going."

Sarah hugged Curran tightly. "I am going to miss you so much. You take care of yourself."

"I will. I promise." He said, kissing her hand before following Perry out the door.

"Natalie, I am so glad that you allowed him to drag you along. It was nice, having a young person around the house again." She took her hands in her own and smiled warmly but sadly and Natalie had a crazy compulsion to ask if they could stay a little longer. She knew something was wrong and she wanted to help but she forced herself to say goodbye. She didn't even know these people after all. How could she think she could possible help them when she couldn't even help the people she knew and loved? Like John

"He's a good boy, Natalie. You two just look out for each other and everything will be fine."

She didn't bother trying to correct her. Chances were she wouldn't even see Curran again once they got home. She simply nodded and walked outside where Perry and Curran were saying goodbye.

"You be careful now." Perry said. "And thank you, you know, for helping me with . . ." his voice trailed off and he just shrugged.

"What will you do now?'

"Oh, I'll check into some things, don't you worry." He assured her and she actually felt a twinge of guilt for leaving him to deal with Aunt Becky alone. Once you had swept someone up into a humidor you sort of felt responsible for them.

"I'll leave you my number. If there's anything I can do to help just let me know."

A few minutes later and they were on their way home. She was anxious to be with John again and looking forward to telling him about Aunt Becky. She knew he would be able to appreciate the morbid humor of the situation and they were due for a laugh together. She glanced over at Curran realizing he had been strangely pensive since they left.

"Are you sad?" She asked him. "About leaving? I could tell you loved it there and they definitely liked you."

"They are very good people and I will miss them. I'm always sad when I leave a place but new places are exciting too. I've always known I was on a journey to somewhere or someone and now that I have found what I'm looking for I expect things will get even more exciting."

"Oh no, are we on that again." She moaned. "You know it's been my experience that when guys find what they are looking for they no longer have any interest in it."

"Nonsense, things always got much more interesting when we were together than when we were apart. The best is yet to come, remember."

"Yeah, I remember." Natalie tried to think of a way to distract him from this particular train of thought. "You've said you've traveled a lot."

"I have."

"Well, where have you been?"

"Where have I been?" He looked at her and grinned and she suddenly regretted her question. "Listen, I've traveled every road in this here land."

"Okay, forget I asked."

"I've been everywhere, man."

"Don't you dare start singing."

"Crossed the deserts bare, man."

"Seriously, it is too early in the morning for this."

"I've breathed the mountain air, man."

"I swear, I will put you out of this car and you can hop back to Pennsylvania." She warned.

"I've been to Reno, Chicago, Fargo . . ." he sang happily.

"You know, there's room for another humidor behind the Yoo Hoo." She laughed, finally giving in and just enjoying the drive home with him.

* * *

Humidors, Aunt Becky and old Johnny Cash songs seemed a million miles away as Natalie started down the stairs from John's room. She wouldn't have thought it possible for so much to happen in such a short amount of time but since she had returned from Tennessee she felt as if everything in her life had changed. She had thought the trip would be good for her and John, maybe he was right and they just needed a little time apart. She had come back home believing they could finally start their new life only to find Michael helping John out of the hospital where Spenser Truman lay murdered. That had certainly brought reality crashing back down around her. She knew she had to face the consequences of what she had done but she had done it to protect John and she didn't regret that. Now all she could do was wait and see if he would ever forgive her. Hope and happiness seemed as far away as Tennessee right now.

She paused as she neared the bottom of the stairs and she heard a familiar voice talking to Roxy in the lobby.

"Oh, yeah, you're the reanimated guy." She heard Roxy say and she immediately knew who she was talking to. "So, what's your story anyway?"

Curran saw Natalie over Roxy's shoulder and he winked. ""Well, you know the kind of guy who always does bad things and then wonders why bad things happen to him. that was me, my name is E . . ."

"Would you stop that?' Natalie said.

"Of course, wrong network." He stood up straight, took on a demeanor of pompous arrogance and said "Denny Crane."

"Roxy, would you excuse us just a minute."

"Sure, baby cakes." She smiled, giving Curran an appreciative once over. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

He watched her walk away and then leaned in to whisper, "What exactly would she not do?'

"I haven't found out yet."

He laughed. "I like her. She's fun."

"You think everything is fun. You think a train wreck is fun."

"I thought you said I wasn't hit by a train." He gave her a smug smile.

"You're an ass." She finally laughed.

"You'll learn to love that about me."

"You look different." She said, thinking he seemed taller than she remembered.

"No crutches." He turned for her. "Do you still find me attractive or was this a purely Florence Nightingale attraction?"

"Don't worry, there's still your mental infirmity to keep me interested"

"Natalie." She jumped guiltily at the sound of John's voice behind her.

"You must be John. I've heard a lot about you." Curran said taking the lead when Natalie froze.

"Really, because Natalie has said surprisingly little about you."

"My name is Curran."

"Curran . . ."John paused, giving him time to supply his last name.

"I know, it's an unusual name. Everyone says so."

"Well, Curran what can we do for you?'

"I need a favor." He said, turning his attention back to Natalie. "Please, I need a new place to live and . . . "

"There are no vacancies here." She said entirely too quickly.

'Yeah, well I actually found a place but I need references. Perry said he would fax them over but my new boss is kind of Attila the Hunish and I thought maybe he could fax them to you."

""Perry can use a fax machine?'

He gave her a teasing smile. "Sure, I mean he has to climb the pole beside Arnold's pig sty and all but . . ."

"Curran, I . . ."

"Please, please do this for me. I swear last night I watched a roach chase a rat across the room."

"Fine, he can fax it to me."

"Thank you, my soul is ever at your service." He bowed gallantly and ignored the glares he was getting from John.

After Curran left Natalie turned to find John giving her one of those particular scowls that he seemed to reserve just for her. "What?"

"That's the friend you gave a ride home from the hospital."

"Yes, but . . ."

"Natalie, I swear sometimes I just don't know what the hell is going on inside of your head."

"He didn't know anyone here, John. He didn't have any family or friends who could help him. I kind of know what that's like."

"So, you take off for days with a complete stranger."

"I was pretty sure I could outrun him."

"This is not funny."

"Curran is harmless."

"How do you know that, huh? His winning smile. Do you even know his last name?" He asked and she faltered. He shook his head "You're unbelievable, you know that." He said and turned his back on her in a gesture of dismissal that was becoming all too familiar.

"Yeah, well for your information, Curran and I go way back."

* * *

Natalie was so on edge at work that afternoon that every time someone said her name her heart would jump and she would forget to breathe. She knew John wanted to wait and go to Bo together with the information that she had tampered with evidence in the murder investigation that was his new obsession but waiting was hard. She had once promised her uncle that she would quit before she allowed her relationship with John to bring him any embarrassment and what she had done could potentially heap a lot more than mere embarrassment at her favorite uncle's feet.

Perry dutifully fazed over Curran's references and she decided to take them over to him herself. She needed a distraction and she might not know Curran's last name, and judging from the forms Perry had sent neither did he, but she could say with assurance he was distracting.

Natalie was surprised when she found the building where Curran worked. He had never told her anything about where he was working but it was every bit as imposing as Buchanan Enterprises and she found it difficult to picture him working in such a cold, formal atmosphere.

"Excuse me; I was just looking for Curran." She hesitated, confronted again with the fact that she didn't know his last name but the secretary smiled in recognition.

"I'm sorry; he's not in right now. Can I help you?"

"I was just dropping these off for him."

"Connie, what intellectually challenged person do we have . . ." an older man came out of the office and halted in the middle of his tirade. "Who are you? Are you from that temp agency?' It was an accusation more than a question.

""No, I'm a friend of Curran's. I was just dropping off some . . ."

"Well, come on in here then." He motioned impatiently for her to follow her into the spacious corner office.

Natalie glanced at the secretary for help but she just shrugged. "Don't worry; his bark is worse than his bite."

She sighed and followed the gentleman into his office. She was just going to drop the stupid references off for him. Why couldn't anything involving this guy ever be simple? The name on the door said Jonas Richards, his hair and neatly trimmed beard where almost white and he carried himself as a man who constantly had to shoulder the burden of other people's incompetence.

"So, you're Natalie." He said, sitting down behind his massive desk.

"Why what have you heard?"

"He was just telling me about your trip to Tennessee."

"He told you about that?'

"Do you know what I would call a story like that?'

"People's exhibit A."

He smiled for the first time. A smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, probably from lack of practice. "I would call it inspiring."

"Inspiring? Inspiring you to do what?"

"I guess Curran just has a way of telling a story. He made it sound like great fun."

"Well, the thing you have to understand about Curran is that he is a simpleton."

"He's a lily."

"Excuse me."

"When I first interviewed him we somehow got onto the topic of old movies, in particular a Lionel Barrymore film entitled You Can't Take it With You. Come to think of it that is probably the only reason I hired him."

"That's nice but I really should be . . ."

"You see Lionel Barrymore was once climbing the corporate ladder but one day he realized he wasn't happy so he left it all behind to live as one of the lilies of the field." He explained with a faraway look in his eyes.

"I'll be sure to catch that sometime. If I could just leave these . ."

"Of course, you're probably on your lunch break." He said, rising from his chair and she breathed a sigh of relief as he opened the door for her. "Well, let's go."

"No, you don't understand I have to get back to work."

"You have to eat, don't you? Connie I am going to lunch. I may be late so tell people whatever you tell them when I am late."

Jonas took her to a small deli in the neighborhood where had had grown up. The area was not what she had expected. The neighborhood was neat but obviously poor, not very far from Angel Square.

"They think I'm having a mid life crisis." He announced

Natalie was getting accustomed to his abrupt nature. "Are you?'

"I feel much too old to have a mid life crisis and if I were I would have a proper one, fire my old secretary and hire me some young woman with more bust than brains."

"You'd better not even look in my direction." She warned him and he laughed. He had a surprisingly warm laugh.

"Well at the least I would give Connie one good chase around her desk."

She smiled, wondering what the hell she was doing here. "Do you smell popcorn?"

"What?"

"Every now and then I swear I smell popcorn."

He laughed and took her around the block to a derelict, boarded up building with a sagging marquee. "There was a movie house here when I was a boy. I would come here for a Saturday matinee when the admission was a pop top." He told her, his eyes had grown warm with nostalgia. "It was a great old theater, then. A place where you could escape."

"It sounds nice."

"I hated everything else about this neighborhood; the poverty, my right bastard of a father, but not this place. This place was magic, it was sanctuary." He said, his voice distant, lost in his own memories. "I haven't been back here since I left for college. I put everything I had into my work, forsaking love, marriage and friends and I built that business into a multi million dollar corporation. I have accomplished everything I set out to do the day I left this neighborhood and do you know what?"

"No."

"I have discovered that I hate that place just as passionately as I hated this neighborhood. I built that company up so perfectly that it doesn't even need me anymore. I wake up in the morning with nothing to look forward to. I am just not happy there anymore."

Natalie felt a rush of empathy for this man. She could understand what he was feeling. She knew what it was to get everything you ever dreamed would make you happy only to find yourself feeling empty and alone. She put a hand on his arm and he looked down at her. "Then don't go there anymore."

* * *

"Hey!" Curran plopped down in the chair in front of her desk a mischievous grin on his face.

"What are you doing here?" She asked looking around for John.

"I missed you." He said simply. "And I had to know."

"Know what?'

"I had to know what you did to Jonas."

"What do you mean?'

"Well, he came back from lunch passing out lilies to everyone, he then proceeded to chase his secretary around her desk at which time he announced he was retiring from the rat race and becoming a lily of the field."

"Oh my God."

"It was so cool. So how did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything. He practically forced me to go to lunch with him and then I kept smelling popcorn and . . "

"Popcorn?'

"Yes, and then he took me to this old dump of a movie theater and he got all misty eyed about when he used to go there as a boy."

"Well, that explains a lot."

"How?"

"He bought it." Curran laughed.

"You have got to be kidding me? The placed looked condemned."

"It was but Jonas has lots of connections. The board of directors is about to lose their minds." He told her. "I told you. You have more power than you know."

"Natalie, I can see you're real busy but can I talk to you for a minute."

"We were just discussing her new found super power, phantom smells."

"I'm sorry, John, he just . . ."

"Listen, I have to leave town for a little while and I can't really tell you where I'm going."

"Oh, well can you at least tell me . . . no, never mind." She said. "John, could you do one thing for me, could you think about us while you're gone. You know, if you're happy with the way things are." He agreed, made some comment about her looking pretty and then he was gone.

"I don't think he likes me." Curran said when she came back to her desk.

"What?" She asked, distractedly.

"John. I don't think he likes me"

"Why would he and why would you care. I mean you think that we were together in a past life and I'm with John in this one. Doesn't make him the competition?'

"There's no reason that should keep us from being friends. You know people usually like me. I'm sort of known for my likeability."

"You are known for being incredibly unbalanced." She said, impatiently. "I have really got to get back to work."

He gave her a look of concern but nodded. "All right."

Natalie tried to get back to work but she couldn't keep her mind off of John and the way things stood between them. She finally gave up and decided to leave early. As she was leaving the building she found Curran waiting outside, his hands shoved in his pockets, looking like a lost nine year old.

"What are you doing?'

"I wanted to see if I could walk you home."

"We're not in Mayberry anymore. I have a car."

"Oh, well maybe you could give me a ride home." He said brightly.

"With the rat chasing cockroaches. I think I will take the walk." She relented. "We have got to get you some friends."

"I usually make a very good first impression." He told her. "I just wanted to say I was sorry. In spite of what I know about us I never meant to cause trouble between you and John."

"Believe me; the problems I am having with John have nothing to do with you." They stopped at a bench and sat down together. He was staring at her so intently, wanting to listen to whatever she had to say and she so badly wanted someone to listen to her that she found herself opening up to him, again. "I just don't know why I never learn? I do these stupid, impulsive things and they always blow up in my face but I just keep doing them."

"I know it seems that way but you shouldn't second guess yourself, Natalie. You have to start trusting yourself, your first instincts. I believe there's a reason for them."

"Is this more of your superhero talk?'

"Maybe just a little."

"Let me guess, your theory of our reward for all the good deeds we did in our past life." She said and he didn't answer. "Well, you are wrong. If that were true than why can't I help any of the people that I love? I mean John actually had to haul his brother in for suspicion of murder, Marcie is devastated, and little Tommy . . ."she paused and took a deep breath to compose herself. "So, fix it. Do whatever magic it is that you believe in and fix it."

"I can't." He whispered and she could hear the real regret in his voice.

"Why not?" She asked, her anger gone, a pleading note in her voice.

"I don't know. Maybe they have to be ready to help themselves, Jonas was ready for someone or something to happen to him. Maybe this is not something we can go out searching for, maybe it's something we just have to find."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, I came here looking for a job and pow! I got hit by a train. And then I found you"

"It was not a train. It was a Volkswagen." She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder. He made no move to touch her but simply sat there with her.

"Trains have more dramatic affect."

She sat next to him silently wondering if she should tell him. Her first instinct, her first true instinct, had been to stay in Tennessee and try to help Sarah. If she had followed her instincts like he said she wouldn't have even been here when Truman was murdered, and she would never have been able to steal the evidence. She knew the notion was ridiculous but talking to Curran had a way of making her doubt everything she had ever believed.


	6. Chapter 6

They almost had a perfect moment. He had come home to her, told her he had arrested David Vickers for the murder, he had even told her she was right and that he was going to make it all up to her. This should have been their time. They should have been free, finally, except that she had to tell him that she had told Bo what she had done and that she had let it slip that John knew. He had been so angry, the way that he had yelled at her and what could she say? She had no defense except that she loved him and had tried to do the right thing but none of that seemed to matter anymore. He had stormed out of the room, leaving her with nothing to do but to wait and wonder if he was going to come back to her this time.

She left the room and went for a walk, curiosity leading her down the street where Jonas had purchased the old theater. The building was an even bigger mess than she remembered and she wondered what he had seen in this old building that would make him walk away from his life.

"Well, I did it." She started at the sound of his voice behind her.

"You certainly did." She agreed.

"I even chased Connie around the desk a few times for good measure."

"So, I heard."

"And?"

She realized he was waiting for her opinion or her approval but all she could do was ask "Why?"

"You told me to."

"I did not."

"You told me if I wasn't happy there then I shouldn't go back. Well, I wasn't so I didn't."

"Why would you listen to me?" She asked sitting on a bench in front of the desolate building. "I haven't done or said the right thing in so long I wouldn't know it if it hit me over the head. What's your excuse? You were running a multi million dollar company and you walk away from it on the advice of a person who is getting fired from their job. What's wrong with you? You don't just walk away because you're unhappy."

He sat down beside of her and was silent for a long moment. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

She started to laugh but instead she burst into tears. She should have been embarrassed but she couldn't stop herself. "Come on now, it's not that bad." Jonas said, uncomfortable. "You said you were going to be fired."

"Probably." She sniffed. "I can't blame Uncle Bo though. I mean I left him no choice."

"You're being fired by an Uncle Bo?" He smirked and she glared at him. "Sorry. Well, as you pointed out, until recently, I was the head of a multi million dollar corporation so I can speak from years of experience. Quit."

"What? I can't just quit."

"Why not? It would save your uncle the embarrassment of having to fire his own niece and maybe you would even regain a little of your dignity. Yes." He nodded as if the matter were decided. "You will graciously resign your position and then you will come and work for me here."

She followed his gaze to the building in front of them and as they watched the marquee pulled loose from its pilings and one end plunged to the ground in front of them, blocking the entrance of the building.

"I'll think about it." She promised.

"You did what?" John exploded.

"John, it was the right thing to do. He would have had to fire me anyway."

"Of course, I forgot, you always know the right thing to do so why should you have to waste your time discussing anything with me anymore."

"We're talking about my desk job here. This has nothing to do with us."

"It does, Natalie. It has to do with this same crap happening over and over again."

"I wasn't going behind your back. In fact, you helped me to make my decision."

"Yeah, how's that."

"It was seeing you at Rodi's with Marty Saybrooke."

"Marty Saybrooke? Damn it, Natalie. I do not want to . . ."

"Please, just let me finish." She said and he took a breath before motioning for her to continue. "It wasn't just seeing you there with Marty, although I can't say I was thrilled about that, but it was the way you looked at me. You walked in and your eyes met mine across the room and you didn't smile or even acknowledge my presence except to roll your eyes. I can't blame you, John, I don't like the person I've been lately either but I don't want to walk into the station everyday and see that look of dread on your face. I want you to light up when I enter the room the way . . ."

"Let me guess, the way little 'my name means hero' does."

"No, the way you used to." She said and his face finally softened, he reached out uncertainly to touch her.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like I dreaded seeing you, it's just the way things have been lately . . ."

"You've kind of dreaded seeing me." She finished for him and he gave her one of those embarrassed, shy smiles that always got to her. "I screwed up, John and I know that but maybe this will be good for us. I can't not worry about you and I know you can't stop being who you are so maybe if I'm not there, in your face everyday, then maybe you won't cringe when you walk into a room and find me there."

"I never meant for things to get this bad."

"I know."

* * *

She arrived in front of the theater early the next morning and found Jonas bellowing into his cell phone in heated argument over some sort of permit. Natalie almost turned around and left right then but he spotted her first. "Does this mean you work for me now?" He asked gruffly.

"Good, then you can try and reason with this jackass." He thrust the phone at her and walked away. She had no idea who he was even talking to but she got on the line and after over an hour of begging, cajoling and threatening, plus calling in several favors from contacts she had made while working at the station, she finally managed to get his permit approved.

She snapped the phone shut feeling the first sense of pride she had in a long time and found Curran standing in front of her, smiling and holding out a cup of coffee. "So, what would you like me to do now, boss?'

"What?'

"I just got back from picking up some supplies and Jonas told me he had hired a new manager and I was to report to her." He saluted her.

"You're working here too?'

"Of course."

"No, this is not right. You're supposed to be . . .what the hell did Jonas do anyway."

"I don't know. I wasn't really there long enough to figure it out but my terms of employment were actually with Jonas himself, not with the company, so where he goes I go."

"I can't believe this." She shook here head. "This was a huge mistake."

"No it's not. Hey, if you're worried about being my boss then don't be. I'm sure that in the past I have grown quite accustomed to you telling me what to do and especially where to go." He grinned.

"That! See, that right there is why this is a huge mistake." She said. "I've got to talk to Jonas and tell him that I can't do this."

"Please don't. I'll behave, I promise. Besides, we make such a great team."

"We do not."

"Sure we do."

"Everything that has happened since I met you has been a disaster."

"How can you say that?" He asked, looking slightly hurt and thoroughly clueless.

"The second we laid eyes on each other you were nearly killed in a car crash. We drive to Tennessee to get your belongings and help Perry count his squash and we spill his wife's aunt's ashes all over the floor. I simply drop off some papers to your new boss and the man goes insane, leaves his billion dollar climate controlled office and buys a hovel."

"See, we've had a great time so far. You can't give all of this up." He smiled and walked away as Jonas barked out orders.

"What has happened to my life?' Natalie asked herself.

* * *

"Do you think if I have myself declared incompetent they would give me my money back?" Jonas asked as he stared at the piles of rubble all round them. "I mean anyone would just have to take one look at this place to know I must have been completely out of my mind."

Natalie ignored him as she looked over purchase orders and work orders. After two weeks of trying to find a contractor who wasn't just this side of criminal, dealing with permits, inspectors and fines, and a few minor catastrophes along the way, she had learned to tune Jonas out. She knew the truth was, he was having the time of his life and all of the complaining was just part of the experience for him.

"Come on, Jonas. We're almost there." Curran clapped him cheerfully on the shoulder.

"Don't' say that. I have heard enough of your stories by now to know that when you say we're almost there we are in actuality miles away from the end, the destination or the point." Jonas snapped and then turned an accusatory finger on Natalie. "That is your fault."

"I hired him because I thought we needed a wacky sidekick. It was your speech and his stories that got me into this mess in the first place and now I am well on my way to losing my mind and I am being hounded mercilessly by these extortionists who call themselves . . ."

Natalie caught Curran's eye and he gave her a knowing smile. "Did you know that while Edgar Allen Poe was attending the University of Virginia his friends called him Gaffy."

Jonas was full swing into a tirade and stopped so abruptly that Natalie worried he might suffer some mental whiplash. They had learned early on that Curran had a gift for blurting out some random trivia that would inevitably talk Jonas down from the proverbial ledge."Gaffy? No, I can't say I have ever heard that and I was always a big fan of Poe."

"Apparently, Poe read his classmates one of his stories while he was there and they teased him that the characters name, Gaffy, was mentioned too often in the story. He got angry and tossed the whole thing in the fire. The most interesting thing is that it wasn't his typical macabre work. In fact, it was the opposite; it was a work of great humor."

"Well, that is fascinating. To think a work like that would be . . ." Jonas stopped when he saw Curran give Natalie a wink before walking away "Don't think I don't know what you're up to." He shouted after him. "I'm telling you that boy is not human. Nothing ever flusters him. Do you know I have actually caught myself indulging in the crudest of jokes just to try and shock him?"

"I do. My ears are still burning from the one about the three whores in church."

"You weren't supposed to hear that." He mumbled. "Do you know what he is? He's a fairy."

Natalie finally looked up at him over the forms she had been filling out. "I thought he was a lily."

"The Irish believed that fairies were fallen angels who were not quite weighted down with enough sin to crash straight through earth to hell so they were left here to bedevil the days of man. That's what he is. He's my little fairy."

"Can I help you?"

"Bloody hell woman, I'm trying to tell you . . ." he stopped when he realizes that Natalie was looking past him. He turned to find an attractive woman in her early fifties who was surveying the theater with a nostalgic smile on her face.

"We are not open to the public," not just because she was trespassing in a hazard zone making her a lawsuit waiting to happen, but because she had obviously overheard him refer to Curran as his little fairy.

"Oh, I can see that. It looks like you still have a long way to go." She commented, picking up a stack of swatches. "You're not seriously considering using these colors are you?"

"Excuse me, but you are not authorized to be . . ."

"It's just that these would never do if . . .well what are your plans for this place?

"I thought I would paint the walls red, mirrors on the ceilings, animal prints draped over everything, incense burners and maybe a Chinese basket or two. I'm really going for that Retro Brothel look."

"Don't pay any attention to him. We're having him declared incompetent." Natalie said

"Don't apologize for me."

"It's okay. I know I must sound terribly rude. I was just asking because I grew up in this neighborhood. This old movie theater means a lot to me and I just hate to see someone who doesn't know what they're doing. ."'

"Hey, what's going on?" Curran whispered, coming to stand next to Natalie.

"Jonas is being, well, Jonas." She answered and Curran settled next to her to watch.

"Doesn't know what they're doing?" Jonas snapped "For your information I also grew up in this neighborhood. I spent every Saturday in this theater and I think I know . ."

"Do you think they're gong to be awhile?" Curran asked.

"Probably." Natalie nodded.

"Well, it must be true that the memory is the first to go because if you grew up here you should know . . ." The woman paused and took another look at him "Jonas?"

"Yeah."

"My God you have aged."

"Do you want to go get some lunch?" Curran asked, quickly.

"I really would."

Curran laughed. "He called me his little fairy."

"And he had no idea she was standing right behind him." She laughed with him.

They had grabbed a couple of hot dogs and strolled casually through the park with the luxury of not having to punch a time card.

"So, tell me, do you still regret taking this job?"

She thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. I had a great job, no; I had a career as a forensics tech. An important job."

"What is your definition of an important job?"

"I was good at it. I liked feeling like I was a part of something. I liked that what we did there mattered, that it helped people."

"And it allowed you to be a fixture in John's world."

"Curran." She warned.

"I'm sorry. You're right, the work you were doing there was meaningful. You were the voice for people who had been silenced but maybe your place isn't with the dead, Natalie." They had stopped walking and he was looking down into her eyes.

"And just where is my place?"

"Oh, I definitely think I could tell you where your place is but you probably wouldn't believe me."

"Curran, I . . .

"Okay, okay. I just don't want you to feel that what you do doesn't matter. You are a part of something and it will be meaningful."

He had a way of talking to her that made her forget that anyone else was around so it took a moment before the sound of her name even registered on her.

"Jess," She greeted her sister a little awkwardly.

"Hey, it was a beautiful day so I thought I would take the kids to the park." She smiled expectantly at Curran and Natalie introduced them. Bree immediately took to him, even reaching out her arms to him to be held.

"I guess she likes you." Jess laughed.

"I keep trying to convince Natalie that I'm a very likable person." He said as he lifted the baby into his arms. "She knows her Uncle Curran."

"You are not her uncle."

"Bree, I'm going to teach you a new word today." He said and the little girl looked up at him intently. "The word is belum." He said and she mimicked him in her baby gibberish. "Very good. You see in Indonesia . ."

"Let's not get into all of that. We do eventually have to go back to work."

"She's the boss of me." He told Jessica with a pleased smile.

"Really?" Jess gave her sister a questioning look.

"I'm more like his keeper."

"Don't let her fool you. She loves it."

"Yeah, it's great being the lunatic in charge of the asylum."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You've always been very good at taking charge and taking care of other people."

"I think I'm confused." Jessica interrupted. ""How long have you two known each other?

"Always. We've known each other always."

"No, we have not.'

"Have so."

"Curran was in a car accident not long ago." Natalie explained when she saw the confused look on her sister's face. "He now has some strange delusions about us and a past life."

"Really?" Jess laughed. "So who were you in this past life?"

"My wife." Curran answered simply

"It's best not to encourage him and his fantasies."

"It was fantastic but it was also very real."

"You're insane."

"Why is it insane?"

"Let me count the ways."

"Come on, Natalie. Your first husband came back from the dead; your second husband came back from the dead twice and John, back from the dead. Not only would I think you would have an easier time accepting this but I'm surprised you don't have a messiah complex." Curran said and when he saw the 'I can't believe he just said that' look he was getting from the two women he quickly shoved a handful of Bree's animal crackers into his mouth.

Before Natalie could say anything Jamie came running over to them. "Do you want to play with us?" She asked Curran.

"Are you playing kickball?" He asked and she nodded. "Then I am so in." He stood and bowed before Natalie. "My lady, I am off to prove myself to you on the field of battle. I will fight honorably and claim victory in your name."

Natalie just shook her head as he ran off to the playground with Jamie where the other children immediately accepted him as one of their own. "He is driving me just as nuts as he is."

"Uh huh." Jessica said with a slight nod and a bemused smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?

"Nothing."

"That look is not nothing."

"Okay, let me ask you just one thing; if this guy drives you so crazy then why don't you just tell him to get lost."

Natalie started to point out the obvious, they worked together, but she knew Jess wasn't going to just leave it at that. She thought for a long moment before she finally answered her. "He sings along with the radio."

"What?"

"Seriously, he constantly sings along with the radio, it doesn't matter what type of music is playing, it doesn't even matter if he knows the words, he just sings along anyway." Natalie answered as if this answer made total sense.

"Okay." Jess nodded. "That sounds like a perfectly good reason to keep someone around to me."

* * *

She let herself into John's room that night and wasn't surprised to find that he wasn't there. He was still not certain that Vickers had committed the murder and until he had answers that satisfied him she had a lot of time to occupy. She wasn't sure where he was on the case, that was police business and she was now a civilian but mostly she knew that he still didn't trust her so they didn't talk about the case, and since the case consumed him they seldom talked.

She settled on to the couch, amazed at how empty and lonely such a small room could feel. She got out some paperwork, busy work really, that she had brought home and took out her cell phone to listen to some music while she worked.

She was so startled by the sounds coming out of the MP3 player that at first she thought there was something wrong with her phone. Instead of the music she was expecting she heard the unmistakable twang of Loretta Lynn and the smoother tones of Conway Twitty as each accused the other of being to blame for their children being ugly.

"Curran." She laughed to herself. Well, he had told her it was a real song. She wondered just what he had downloaded on to her phone and settled in to listen. She couldn't explain what a nice feeling it was just to have something to look forward to, something unexpected. The room didn't feel quite so empty anymore and she fell asleep as she listened.

_She sensed his presence immediately and she was angry. "Why are you still following me?" She snapped._

_He simply smiled at her in that infuriating way of his. "I vowed to stay with you and I never break my word, nothing you can do or say would ever drive me away."_

_"I neither need nor want 'your' protection. Now, why don't you just turn around and go back to where you belong."_

_He stepped closer to her. "I am where I belong, and by my word I will never leave you."_

"Natalie." She opened her eyes and stared up at him sleepily. She still felt disoriented as the last remnants of her dream began to fade from her consciousness and for just a brief moment he seemed like a stranger. She sat up quickly. "Hey, you okay."

"John?"

"Yeah. I know I'm late but I'm not that late." He smiled. "Bad dream?"

"No, at least I don't think so. I can't really remember it now."

"Why don't you come to bed?" He said and she nodded absently, still trying to recall something of her dream that had felt so real, so familiar and yet so distant.


	7. Chapter 7

"Where are those insurance forms?" Jonas muttered as he searched through piles of catalogs, folders and swatches.

"I think I saw them somewhere." Natalie answered distractedly. She didn't know why but her mind kept wandering back to the dream she had the night before, even though she couldn't recall a single detail. The emotions of the dream were still very real and she couldn't just put them out of her mind.

"Well, where did you put them?"

"I didn't say I put them anywhere. I said I saw them somewhere." She said. "Did you look on your desk?"

"Desk, what desk? I used to have a desk, damn thing cost more than this entire building is worth, now I have a door lying across two sawhorses."

"So, you checked?"

Jonas muttered some expletives under his breath as he rifled through the papers on his desk in a futile attempt to locate the papers he knew weren't there. "Is this how you filed things at that police station because it's a wonder every criminal . . .?"

"The police station had actual filing cabinets." She pointed out. She noticed Curran motioning toward her and she glanced down, realizing she had picked up the insurance forms with the mail she had picked up earlier. Jonas had turned his attention to the old milk crate that was serving as their filing cabinet. She quietly placed the papers on his desk and the innocently resumed sorting the mail.

Jonas spotted the papers the moment he turned around and he glared at them. "Don't' think I don't know what you are up to."

"Maybe it was fairies?" Natalie suggested.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Jonas. It's barely nine o'clock and you're all ready sniping. You're going to give yourself an ulcer."

Jonas stopped short when he saw Abigail Cummings step into the building. "It's not my digestive track in question."

"No doubt those nice young men in their clean white coats will be coming to take you away soon enough." Abigail responded.

"What are you doing here anyway? She knows people in the police department. I could get a retsraining order, maybe even have you shot."

"I asked her to come by." Natalie said. "She has pictures of the old theater and I asked her if I could see them so behave yourself."

"Would you like me to confine myself to the basement like an idiot relative?"

"Could you?"

"I don't know what good those will be. Pictures so old that she has them probably had to be carved out of a cave somewhere"

"Well, Captain Caveman, you're in these pictures too.

"Really?" Natalie and Curran leaned over her shoulder eagerly.

"Wow, that's Jonas." Natalie studded the picture of the young Jonas. He was clean shaven and his hair was dark. He wasn't smiling and there was an aloof almost scornful air in the way that he was observing the people around them, as if he were above it all. But the camera had caught something in his eyes, something vulnerable and seeking that made Natalie feel close to him. She understood what it was to be on the outside of something you desperately wanted to be a part of.

""The theater was so much fun then." Abigail said fondly. "The people in this neighborhood didn't have a lot of money but they were close and this theater was much more than a place to come and watch movies. It was a part of the community. They used to hold plays here and have live music. All done by people right here in this area."

"They were able to do all of that in a movie house?" Curran asked.

"There was a big stage in front of the movie screen and . . . Oh, Jonas, the stage. Did you forget about the stage?"

"I did not forget about the stage." Jonas snapped. "I am not yet senile in spite of the best efforts of my two assistants."

"Wait a minute." Natalie said as she turned the pages in the photo album. "This looks like a picture of you and Jonas together. I mean like together, together."

"Oh, yes, Jonas and I were an item." She announced, looking over Jonas shoulder and shaking her head. "No, no that fabric would be all wrong for the curtain." She said taking it out of his hands.

"So, what happened?" Natalie asked, curiously. "Did you break it off?"

"No, he dumped me." She answered simply as she continued to change or rearrange everything he had been working on.

"He dumped you? Why?"

"Because she was just as much a domineering old nag then as she is now." He finally snapped, pushing his chair away from the desk.

"Jonas." Natalie said, surprised by his outburst.

"What? Aren't you afraid she might take over your job around here?"

Natalie's face flushed as Jonas words hit a nerve. "Maybe she was just trying to help you and you're just too much of an ass to figure it out." She snapped and tossed the mail to the side before walking out. She was immediately embarrassed by her outburst and she sat down on the tailgate of one of the workman's trucks.

Curran joined her a few minutes later. He leaned against the truck beside her but didn't say a word.

"I don't want to talk about it" she said and he just nodded. They sat in silence for a long moment. "I just don't think I know how to do this. I thought I did. I thought I had learned. I mean, I didn't have the first clue of what it meant to love someone else when I first moved here. I knew I wanted my family to accept me and love me but I always did it wrong. I always screwed it up." She said, barely taking a breath. "And look at him. He grew up with a loving family and he hasn't exactly got it down either. I know I don't want to be that person, that person who makes him feel trapped, that makes him cringe whenever I walk into a room, who goes around acting like a crazy person picking fights with a psychiatrist. I just thought that when you loved someone you took care of them and you helped them, you do things for them. If you don't how else can you make them love you." The words poured out too quickly, before she could think about them, before she could stop them and she was left shaken.

Curran moved in front of her, holding her eyes with his own, looking so deeply into her that it was almost like a physical touch. . "You don't have to "make" anyone love you, Natalie. It's easy. It's very, very easy and it always was." He held her gaze until her hands stopped shaking and she felt like she could breathe again.

"We got a letter from Perry." He said, handing her the letter and hopping onto the back of the truck beside of her. And just like that he was able to put her careening world back on track and make everything feel normal again.

"Really? How are they?" She asked, even as she started reading the letter.

'Pretty good. I think he's still worried about Sarah though."

"Well, I guess having her Aunt Becky come back home was . . ." She lowered the letter in disbelief. "He still hasn't told her. He hasn't even bought the urn."

"He says he can't find anything that looks like Aunt Becky."

"Looks like . . . it's an urn, not a designer dress. He just doesn't want to deal with it. He's just going to leave her there behind the Yoo Hoos gathering cobwebs."

Curran stepped down from the truck and reached out his hand to her. "Well, I guess you're just going to have to straighten him out."

"Maybe, I will." She said, glad that he was walking back in with her after the fool she had made of herself.

"You should never pick fights with a psychiatrist." He said as they walked back inside. "You can never win. They have an answer for everything."

Hey, I'm so screwed up I have to have two mothers to blame my problems on." She laughed and only then realized that she was still holding his hand. She quickly pulled her hand away and returned to her job. Jonas and Abigail hadn't let her outburst put a dent in their bickering and they had moved on to the marquee.

"What is the point in picking out the lettering until I know what I'm going to call the place anyway?"

"You're not going to use the original name?" Abigail said

"No, I want something different."

"The Palace." She suggested

"It's all ready taken."

"Capitol,"

"Too generic. I want something that will really fit my vision for this place, a place that captures the essence of the place. "

"Jonas's Little Shop of Horrors."

"Very funny. What about you? Any ideas?" He asked Natalie.

Natalie glanced at Curran and he smiled. She thought of the way he enjoyed every little thing about life and how attuned he was to other peoples feelings. He had a natural instinct about what people needed, like the way he was always able to make her feel better and the name just came out. "Paladin."

"What?'

"The Paladin. That's what we call this place."

* * *

"Natalie was curled up on the couch, lost in thought when John got home that night. "Hey." He greeted her.

"Hey. I didn't expect you so early."

He smiled a little and shrugged. "Everything okay? Rough day?" He asked, reading something in her face.

"It had its moments but everything's okay now."

"What are you reading? The classifieds?" He asked, nodding toward the newspaper clipping Perry had included in his letter.

She wondered why he would think she was looking in the classifieds but didn't pursue it." "It's an article about a mule crossing." She explained with a smile.

"Well, apparently a mule drawn wagon was attempting to cross a bridge when the mule got spooked and went over the edge. The mule got caught in its harness and was left dangling about thirty feet in the air."

"You're kidding me right?"

"Nope."

"Don't leave me in suspense here. How did they get the mule down?"

"They cut him loose."

"Cut him loose? If they just cut him loose didn't he . . ."

"Don't worry the mule only suffered minor injuries in the fall."

"That's a relief. Let me see that." John took the clipping and read it for himself, shaking his head. "I think that may be the most "assinine" thing I've ever heard."

"Oh, John."

"That was pretty bad, wasn't it?"

They both laughed but the moment seemed to pass too quickly and they found themselves with nothing to say to each other. There was a time, before the accident, when that wouldn't have mattered. They had been able to just be together with no words passing between them but now the silence was awkward.

"Well, I think I' going to jump in the shower." John finally said.

"Yeah, I've got some things I need to be working on." She lied.

She listened to the sound of the running water and thought to herself that Curran had been wrong. Love was hard. It was very, very hard.

* * *

Abigail was quickly becoming a permanent fixture at the theater. She would show up nearly everyday to offer her advice and force her opinions on Jonas, whether he wanted them or not. Natalie had noticed that in spite of his grumbling he often took her advice and he had never asked her to leave. Not really anyway, and now their bickering had become a normal, almost soothing backdrop to the workday.

"Jonas, would you come take a look at the colors were considering for the women's bathroom," Abigail called.

"Fine." He muttered distractedly, reaching out a hand for the swatch."

"No, I want you to come in here. You'll be able to judge better if you can see where the colors are actually going."

"I can't go in there." He looked appalled at the suggestion.

"Why not?"

"It's the women's bathroom."

"Not yet, it's still under renovation. Who do you think is going to be in there?" She laughed.

"I'm sure that you've noticed that ever since you, the Irish rover and his lady over there have come into my life I know very little about what is going on around here. There could be squatters in there for all I know."

"There is no reason to be vulgar."

"I'm not being . . . oh never mind. Let's just say I have a fear of women's bathrooms and leave it at that."

"Don't be absurd."

"Absurd? Then why do you always go in there in packs."

She rolled her eyes and pulled him into the bathroom, holding the two swatches against the wall. "This one is Dusty Rose and this one is Victorian Rose." She looked at him expectantly.

Jonas shrugged. "They're both pink. I realize that it is a little risky to go with pink in a woman's bathroom but I have every confidence in your ability to make this decision on your own."

"They are not pink. Dusty rose or Victorian rose."

"My dear, a rose by any other name is still pink."

"You are the most obnoxious, infuriating ass of a man" She said, marching out of the bathroom "What about red roses, or yellow roses. There are even blue roses. Did you know that?" She called back over her shoulder. "Afraid of bathrooms."

Natalie glanced up at Curran and held up two fingers. He looked after Abigail thoughtfully, who was still muttering under her breath and held up three fingers. They had developed a point system to Judge Jonas and Abigail's arguments. Abigail usually won but today Jonas appeared to be in a particularly good mood today and was so far leading in points."

"You two." He called to them. "I have an errand for you. I bought some vintage posters and a few other items from this gentleman. I need you to go pick them up."

"This is two hours away." Natalie said, reading the address he handed her.

"Then you'd better get started."

"It's just posters why do we both have to go?" She asked

Jonas sighed. "Just once can't we pretend that I'm the boss and you're my employee? You know, I'll ask you to do something for me and you just do it without questioning me. Humor me."

Natalie glanced at Curran and smiled. "Can we take your car?"

"You have a car."

"But you have a convertible. Come on you never even put the top down. Please."

"It's a beautiful day, Jonas. If you're going to make them drive all that way then the least you could do is let them take your car." Abigail interceded and he reluctantly handed over his keys.

"Thanks Abigail." Natalie said as they walked out. "So what do you think? Was that worth five points?"

They stepped outside and saw the shiny black Jaguar "Oh, I think we should just go ahead and declare her the winner." Curran grinned.

* * *

Natalie wondered again why they had to make the trip together but the truth was she didn't really mind. She had grown to really enjoy working in the theater but it was nice to get out on such a beautiful day. Besides, she really needed the distraction. John wanted to have dinner that night, to talk about what was gong on between them and she couldn't help but fear the worse. She tried to imagine what it would be like to hear him say that he didn't want to see her anymore. The worst part was knowing that if he said those words she wouldn't be able to hold on to her pride. She knew she would fall apart.

She pushed all of those thoughts from her mind and reclined her seat, feeling the warm air on her face and listening to Curran quietly sing alone with the radio. She realized she hadn't felt so relaxed, so . . . unburdened in a long time and she felt herself drifting off, waking up only when she heard Curran utter a soft "Uh Oh."

She opened her eyes and looked around at . . . nothing. They were in the middle of nowhere. "You're lost, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah."

"A man who actually admits when he's wrong?

"I keep trying to tell you that I am a man of rare virtues. You really should snatch me up while you have the chance." He grinned.

"Just hand me the map, Columbus." She studied the map in confusion for a long moment. "I don't get it. According to the map we should be in the right place."

Curran shrugged. "Well, the sun is shining, Gladys Knight is on the radio, and I'm with you. If you've got to be lost I think I could handle this for another lifetime or so."

"I'd better call John and tell him there's a very good chance I'm going to be late." She ignored his last remark and pulled out her cell phone. She wasn't surprised when all she got was his voice mail. "Hey, John, it's me. I just wanted to let you know I may be . . . What the hell is that?"

Natalie looked over at Curran who was also observing the oncoming "vehicle" with curiosity. She was relieved because at first she thought she was hallucinating.

"That is a plane." He finally answered. "A biplane maybe?"

"Well, yeah, it's a plane but . . ." she looked at him questioningly and he shrugged.

"Maybe he's looking for the interstate." He said and she laughed. "Do you want to follow it?" He asked as they watched the plane turn on to a secondary road."

"Follow it?"

"Sure, aren't you curious?"

She realized that she was still connected to John's voice mail. She quickly told him she would have to call him back and snapped the phone shut. "Cabbie, follow that plane."

They followed the plane about half a mile to a building that looked like a small hanger that had been converted into a store. Curran laughed and pointed to the sign as they realized that this was the place they had been looking for. The pilot waked over to meet them.

"I hope I didn't scare you." He greeted them with a friendly but slightly embarrassed smile. "The road is usually pretty deserted this time of day. I hope you won't turn me in to the FAA. They're a little tense these days."

"I think we can keep this between ourselves." Curran shook his proffered hand. "I'm Curran, this is Natalie and we are intrigued."

"Richard Boone." He laughed. "I actually bought the plane and the hanger from a man who used to run a small flight school out here. I've always been a collector of sorts, no one particular thing just whatever catches my imagination. It was my wife's idea to turn the place into a store. The best of both worlds really. I now get to make my living buying and selling the things I love. And the plane, well, I only live about three miles from here and everyone needs a gimmick. Right?"

He led them into his cluttered ship. He had accumulated a wide variety of antiques and memorabilia that ranged from the sophisticated to the whimsical. "My wife says my tastes aren't so much eclectic as they are schizophrenic." He said as he showed them around his shop.

"Natalie, check it out." Curran led her excitedly to the back of the building that was entirely dedicated to a collection of coin operated rides that used to frequent grocery stores and shopping centers. "I think I love this place."

"You would."

"So, who was your favorite?"

"Thunder, of course." She said, resting a hand fondly on the mechanical horse. "They had one of these in front of some convenience store in AC. I used to pretend that I could ride away from Jersey to some magical kingdom." She said with just a trace of sadness in her voice.

"We could go now. Anywhere you want to go." He said moving as if to straddle the small horse.

She laughed and grabbed his arm. "Come on, you. Haven't you ever heard of the 'you break it, you buy it rule"

They spent over an hour browsing through his store and they even found a vintage popcorn machine which they made an executive decision on and added to Jonas bill."

"Is there anything else?" Richard asked.

"Do you ever do special orders?" Natalie asked.

"I suppose. What did you have in mind?"

"An urn."

"An urn? Aren't you a little young for . . ."

"Oh, no, it's not for me." Natalie corrected him hastily. "It's for Aunt Becky."

"Okay, but wouldn't a funeral home be more of a logical choice."

"Normally, but Aunt Becky was . . .

"Unique." Curran supplied the word.

Right, she was well traveled."

"She had a great sense of humor."

"She lived life to the fullest and she needs something that will fit her. She can't have just any ordinary urn."

"I see." He laughed. "I'll keep my eye out for something that would be perfect for Aunt Becky." He promised.

Natalie left her number with Richard and they finally started the drive back to Llanview.

"Hey, we have a message from Jonas." Curran said. "He says he forgot to tell us that the fuel gauge isn't working on the car and we should . . ." he didn't even finish the sentence before the car came to a shuddering halt.

* * *

Natalie was sitting on the back of the car seat, steering with her feet, as Curran pushed. "He didn't forget." She fumed. "The mean old bastard did this on purpose."

"Well, in his defense Jonas didn't know we would take his car."

"Don't defend him. This is like what, a forty thousand dollar car. Who doesn't get the fuel gauge fixed on their forty grand Jaguars?"

"He's been busy and he doesn't drive much."

"You know if you would talk a little less you might be able to push a little faster."

"Yes, M'lady." He puffed.

"I don't even believe this." She said as she looked behind them. A moment later they were being passed by an Amish gentleman in a horse drawn carriage. He tipped his hat and smiled as he clopped by.

Natalie gave him a short wave. "Smug ass . . ."

"Natalie!" Curran admonished with a laugh.

"We have a hill." She told him. Curran gave the car a final shove before jumping into the back. Natalie slid down into the seat as the car began to pick up speed.

"Gas station." Curran pointed out and with the amount of speed they were gaining they should have easily been able to coast into the parking lot.

"What the hell?" Natalie stared into the rear view mirror in disbelief as a police car fell in behind them and turned on their lights. The car pulled along side of them and the officer motioned for her to pull the car over. She pointed toward the gas station but he motioned more aggressively for them to pull over, even swinging over into the lane in front of them so she would have no choice but to stop. They couldn't have been more than a couple of hundred yards away from the gas station.

The officer got out of his car and stepped up to the driver's side. "Is there a problem, officer?" She asked, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice.

"Are you aware that you were speeding, miss?"

She laughed out loud, thinking surely he was joking but he gave her a stern look. "The car's not even running. We ran out of gas and . . ."

"This is a fifteen mile per hour zone. You were doing twenty-five."

Natalie gave Curran a confused look but he just gave her a smug grin. "Twenty- five miles an hour and you say push faster."

"That wasn't you. That was gravity." She snapped.

"Sir, we were just trying to make it to the gas station and I couldn't very well slow down for . . ."

"Carriage crossing."

"Excuse me?"

"He pointed to a sign at the bottom of the hill that warned of a carriage crossing. The picture tauntingly resembling the Amish man who had passed them.

"Do you think I'll get Ashton Kutcher's autograph?" Natalie asked, thinking surely this was some elaborate joke.

She turned back to the officer realizing that he was now looking suspiciously into the backseat of the car. It suddenly occurred to Natalie that he might find it unusual for them to be riding around in the middle of nowhere hauling a cumbersome popcorn machine in the backseat of a luxury car.

"We have the receipts for all of that, officer." She explained, quickly. "We just bought them at this shop. You know the one where the guy drives his plane to work. Really nice guy, he's even going to find us an urn that fits Aunt Becky. She winced as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She saw Curran smother a grin out of the corner of her eye and wondered if it would be worth risking assault charges at this point.

"Drives his plane to work, huh. Would you mind stepping out of the car for me, miss?"

* * *

The lights were still on in the theater when they finally pulled up outside. "He's still here. Good, because I'm going to kill him. I'm just going to kill him and I'm not even going to feel bad about it." She was fuming as she threw open the door of the theater but she saw something that stopped her in her tracks, her angry words frozen by shock. Curran put his arm around her waist and pulled her back out the door.

They stood there in silence for a long moment but Natalie realized that his arms were still around her and she pulled away. She turned to face him and when their eyes met they both burst into laughter.

"I guess now we know why it was so important we go together. He had this planned the whole time." Curran said.

"It's like walking in on your parents." Natalie shuddered.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"You still have an appetite after that."

"You weren't pushing a two ton car, uphill, both ways." He grinned.

"Wussy." She teased. "Fine. I'll take you to Rodi's. A few pitchers of beer should help erase that image from my mind." She said as she climbed back into the Jaguar.

"Shouldn't we . . ."

"No way, I know exactly how much gas is left in this car and I know exactly when to return it to him."

* * *

"Hey, John, it's me." Mike's voice came over the line and John shut his eyes, guessing why his brother was calling. "I was just wondering how you were doing?"

"I'm fine, Mike. How's the head?"

"Just peachy but I was calling because I wanted to know how things went with Natalie tonight."

"I haven't had a chance to talk to her. She called to say she was running late or something." He said, irritated that his annoyance showed. They were supposed to talk that night and get some things cleared up, finally, but she had called with that absurd message. He had things he needed to get cleared up in his life and he didn't like being put on hold. "Anyway, there was this mess at the Palace so I don't think it's going to happen tonight."

"And when it does? Are we talking good new or bad news?"

"Natalie will be the first to know what I decide." He answered shortly and he heard Michael's derisive laugh on the other end. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that you're acting like you're the only one who has a say in this, John. You keep holding her at arms length while you try to decide just what it is that you want to do with her and you may discover that she has come to some conclusion of her own."

"Thanks for the advice, Dr. Phil." He said and snapped the phone shut.

He looked around his empty and quiet room, doing something he hadn't done in a long time. He waited on Natalie.

* * *

"Reckless driving! Can you believe that?" Natalie said, tossing the paper down n the table "The car wasn't even running. I was reckless steering."

"Yes, but when you took the drunk test you walked that straight line very gracefully." He said. "And how you can recite the alphabet backwards without stopping I'll never know."

"Skills I acquired at the knees of my first mother." She said and they laughed.

"You do know this is all your fault." She told him.

"My fault?"

"Yes. There's something about you that makes these things happen. I had a perfectly normal life until . . ."

"Oh, please, shall we go through the list."

"Okay, so maybe not normal but now it's like my life is being scripted by the ACME Corporation. I go around watching the sky for plummeting anvils. We are talking about positively biblical here. Complete with the lion lying down with the lamb."

"So, what, do you think I somehow arranged our beautiful day?"

"See, I knew you thought it was fun, because you are not right." She told him. "And yes I do think you somehow arranged it. The question is why?" She asked in a sinister voice.

He leaned close to her. "Maybe, I did it to protect you."

"Protect me?"

"Yes. Maybe I swept you away to protect you from a far worse fate than discourteous Amish drivers and one of a kind speeding tickets." He said. His words light but his eyes soft and sincere "There is nothing I wouldn't do to protect you."

"Do you know what's crazy?" She whispered. "I believe you."

* * *

Natalie let herself into John's room and was surprised to find that he was home. He had fallen asleep on the couch and she gently took a blanket from the bed and put it over him. She watched him sleep for a few minutes, wishing the peace he found in slumber could transcend to the waking hours.

She eventually left his side and laid down on the bed. She didn't think at first she would ever fall asleep after all the excitement of the day but she soon drifted off.

_The noise and commotion below them made the breath catch in her throat. She turned to study his face and saw that look of determination and fearlessness that she had seen so often on this trip, although she had never been able to admit it to him or herself. She had come to rely on him and even to trust him. He had given her his word that he would see her safely through this journey and she knew that he would never break his word, never, but . . ._

_The thundering sound below them made her start and she reached out her hand to him impulsively. "I don't want you to do this."_

She opened her eyes and had no idea where she was. The dark and unfamiliar room made it impossible to breathe at first but slowly John's voice made its way into her consciousness

"Natalie, hey, what's going on?" He asked, gently. She finally allowed him to pull her into his arms and he stroked her hair. "It's okay. You're okay." He whispered soothingly.

"I'm sorry." She finally said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Don't be sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

She laughed. "That's the crazy thing. I don't have any idea what happened. I was dreaming but I don't remember it at all."

He crawled into bed beside her. He had been angry earlier. Now all he wanted to do was hold her and make whatever bad dreams were making her cry in her sleep go away. He just prayed he wasn't the one causing them.


	8. Chapter 8

Natalie checked the clock on the wall again. It was almost noon and Jonas had still not made an appearance. She wasn't sure if she should be irritated or worried. Maybe, she should be relieved. After all, catching your boss in the act of creating his own love scene on the floor of his movie theater could make for an awkward workday.

"Good morning." She looked up at the sound of his voice and dropped her pen.

"Jonas?" She wasn't sure it was even him, not just because he had greeted her pleasantly but because he literally did not look like the same man. The white hair and beard had not only been neatly trimmed and styled but had been replaced by a rich brown color. His clothes were casual and obviously new. He looked twenty years younger and it wasn't just the new clothes and hair. His eyes were different. The seeking, lost look that she has so identified with in his pictures was gone and had been replaced with a light she had never seen before.

He smiled at the look on her face. "What do you think? Abigail pointed out that if I want the theater to be able to attract younger audiences as well I might not want to look like Burl Ives." He explained happily and then pointed to his newly dyed hair. "Your Foxy Roxy did this to me. She's an . . . interesting woman."

"And apparently a miracle worker"

"You didn't realize your old boss was so handsome?" He asked as he admired himself in front of a mirror that had been delivered for one of the bathrooms. "You know that Abigail is a truly remarkable woman. I think I had forgotten. Did you know she got me to quit smoking?"

"I didn't know you smoked."

"Oh, this was years ago when we were still practically kids. Do you know how she did it?"

"Drugs?" Natalie asked trying to imagine her boss looking even surlier than he was now.

"She bought me a cigarette case."

"Was it electrified?"

He laughed. "Actually, it was quite lovely. Silver plated with the intricate inlay of the Nativity on the front."

"The Nativity?"

"Yes, she said if I wanted to smoke I would have to stare down the baby Jesus to light up. So, I quit." He smiled, fondly. "After I quit we used to hide little notes in the case and then leave it somewhere for the other to find." Natalie thought she detected a flash of regret and sadness in his eyes and she wondered what happened to that cigarette case. "I'll be in my office if you need me." He told her and he was actually whistling as he walked away.

Natalie took out her cell phone and on an impulse she called John. Seeing Jonas this way had given her a sense of hope. If, after all these years even Jonas could make it work than surely there was hope for her and John. She tried not to be disappointed when all she got was his voice mail.

* * *

Curran placed his and Natalie's order at Rodis and then leaned back against the bar to wait. He glanced around the room and noticed a young blonde man shooting darts. He smiled and walked over. "Rex Balsom?"

"Who wants to know?" Rex eyed him warily.

"I'm Curran. I work with your sister."

"Uh, huh." Rex said slowly as he carefully shook his hand. "She's mentioned you."

"Well, don't worry. I am much more charming than she gives me credit for."

"Oh, it's not that. She says you're a nice guy but I got the impression you're also . . . nuts." Rex through his last dart and Curran walked over to the board to retrieve them.

"Only in the best possible sense of the word," Curran assured him as he handed back half of the darts.

"She tells me you believe you two were once an item. You know, in a Shirley MacLaine kind of way."

"Something like that," He said as he threw his dart, hitting the bulls eye.

Rex gave him a look. "So, what kind of game are you playing with my sister?"

"The only game I am playing is the one I am playing with you right now." He said as he hit the bulls eye again without even seeming to try.

"Yeah, it's just that my sister has been through a lot and I don't want some psych ward stalker messing up her life. I don't care which life you say it is."

"You've got to relax." Curran advised as Rex's aim fell short again. "I know she's been through a lot but it's going to be all right now. I have no intentions of doing anything that would hurt her. You have my word on that."

Rex wasn't in the habit of taking anyone's word for anything. He was definitely going to be keeping his eye on this guy but something about him make Rex believe what he said. He relaxed a little and his next shot finally found the bulls eye.

"You see." Curran said. "You just had to relax a little,. You just have to let go and enjoy yourself."

Rex made a face as he retrieved the darts. "Okay, so are we playing or are you late for Oprah."

"You do know that Natalie has a boyfriend." Rex pointed out as they resumed their game. "Tall, dark and brooding, they let him carry a gun."

"I could use the argument that I loved her first but I'll try to save that one as a last resort." Curran smiled as he scored another effortless bulls eye. "I'm no home wrecker, Rex. I know what can happen when a man interferes with a woman who belongs to someone else. If John makes her happy I'll step aside"

"Yeah, well, Natalie's definition of happiness is John McBain, even if that means being miserable."

"But you don't approve?"

"Approve?" He laughed. "What am I like ninety? I know that Natalie loves him and she wants him. I want Natty to have whatever she wants. It's that simple."

"I have a feeling it's not."

"Let's just say that John and Natalie together are like gunpowder and nitroglycerin. You mix the two together and someone is bound to get hurt. Usually Natalie."

"You're getting tense again." Curran pointed out as Rex's shot fell short.

"And you never miss. What are you some kind of dart shark?"

"Sounds like an endangered species." Curran grinned. "One more and your ass is officially kicked. I'll tell you what though, for your sisters' sake and to prove my honor I will show mercy but you have to swear your allegiance to me."

"Huh?" Rex said as his cell phone began to ring. He excused himself to speak to a client he had been waiting to hear from and the he walked over to grab his jacket. "Sorry man, gotta go."

"What about the little matter of you losing and swearing your allegiance to me."

"Whatever. You do right by Natty and I'll have your back. "He said as he backed out of the bar.

* * *

John stepped into Rodi's just as his phone began to ring. He decided to ignore it when he saw it was Natalie. He was meeting Marty Saybrooke there to talk about the Spencer case and he didn't feel like getting into that with Natalie. He glanced up just in time to see the last exchange between Curran and Rex.

"Unbelievable." He said to himself, putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He knew the smart thing to do was to ignore the guy and just walk away but then again . . . what the hell?

"Hi, John," Curran greeted him cheerfully, "Game of darts?"

"Not really my game." He said. "I saw you talking to Balsom. I didn't know you two knew each other."

"We didn't. I recognized him from a picture Natalie has and I introduced myself. Natalie says I need to make friends here."

"Uh huh. So you just thought you would start with her brother."

"He seems like a nice guy." Curran shrugged and eyed John curiously. "Listen, John, my order should be ready any second now so why don't you just go ahead and ask me whatever it is you really want to ask me."

John wasn't so much surprised by the guys up front attitude as he was annoyed by it. There was nothing he would enjoy more than rattling the guys cage a little. "I don't have any questions for you. I think you're pretty obvious." John said flatly. "You want to make a play for Natalie and you think cozying up to her brother will score you some points."

"Rex is a good man but don't tell him I said so. He might find it offensive. But he does have a code and he is devoted to his sister. Lousy at darts though."

"Do you think this is funny?"

"No, watching Natalie make obscene gestures toward Amish drivers was kind of funny but this is decidedly not."

"You're a real amusing guy." John said with a smile that held no amusement. "Listen, I don't know what Natalie has been telling you about us . . ."

"She tells me that she loves you. She tells me that a lot." He answered. "Sometimes she even says that you love her."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"We're all waiting for the answer to that one, John."

"You know, this is not a conversation I intend to have with a stranger."

"Then why did you walk over here? To warn me off?"

"She's a big girl. I don't try to tell her what to do or who she can see."

The resentment in his voice was obvious and Curran shook his head, "You're a fool, John."

"Oh, I'm a fool now." John smirked. "You know, maybe you shouldn't be talking about things you don't know anything about. My relationship with Natalie is complicated."

"No, it's not. Complicated is a cop out word, pardon the pun. You either love her or you don't. If you love her then there's nothing complicated about this. If you don't . . ."

"Things are not as simple as that here in the real world."

"Aren't they?"

"You don't know anything about what is going on between us. I don't need someone to dominate my every move. I don't need someone to control me or take care of me. I don't need someone to constantly go behind my back and make decisions about me life and . . ." John stopped when he realized he was divulging way more information than he had intended.

"So, you don't need her. That's okay, but I do."

"Don't put words in my mouth. I never said . . ."

"I have a feeling that if someone doesn't put words in your mouth they never get there at all. I've heard a lot about what you don't need, John but what about what you want."

"I am not having this conversation with you. Natalie and I have things we need to talk about, yes, but I will decide what happens with us and when I do . . ."

"I was mistaken. You're not a fool. You're an arrogant fool. She is not some thing that you get to cast aside while you decide what to do with it next. The real pity of this is that you should know better. After watching your Mom lose your Dad at such a young age you should know better than anyone how fleeting it all is. And it is fleeting, John. It's all gone in just one breath, one heartbeat. You could walk out of here right now, go and find her, never leave her side again and even if you're blessed with sixty or even seventy years it won't be enough. It will be too soon and you will find yourself on your knees pleading to the heavens for just one more day, just one more moment."

John was stunned. The passion in Curran's voice had unnerved him and for one moment he felt the crazy urge to walk out, to find Natalie, take her into his arms and never let her go but he saw Marty Saybrooke walk in and look around for him. He had a case, he had responsibilities and he didn't move.

"If you'll excuse me," Curran said, as he watched them sit his order on the bar. "She's waiting for me and I make it a point never to keep her waiting."

* * *

Natalie glanced up and grinned when she saw Abigail walk in the door. "Hi, Jonas is in his office. I don't know what you did to him but he's like a brand new man." She teased.

"Oh." Abigail said distantly.

Natalie studied the other woman's face with concern. Like Jonas she didn't seem to be herself but not in a good way. "Is something wrong?"

She nodded and then burst into tears. Natalie steered her outside to the alley where they could talk in private.

"Something happened between Jonas and I last night."

"I know." Natalie said quickly to avoid any need for further explanation on that point. Abigail looked at her in confusion. ""Let's just say I had a lengthy conversation with the contractors about the locks in this building."

Abigail nodded but didn't say anything else. "Do you regret it?" Natalie asked, gently.

"Oh no. I have loved Jonas for a very long time. I never stopped."

"I know he has feelings for you too. You should see him. He was even telling me all about the cigarette case you bought for him and how you used to slip notes to each other."

"Including the one where he said goodbye."

"I'm sorry, he failed to mention that part of the story." Natalie directed a glare toward the direction of his office.

"It's okay. I always knew he would go. He was always so driven; he always had so much to prove. There were so many places he wanted to go and I was content to stay where we were. I knew I was only holding him back so I wasn't surprised when he left. I could have tracked him down. I know he would have done the right thing but he would only have ended up resenting us and ..." She paused as a fresh wave of tears overcame her.

"You were pregnant." Natalie whispered.

She nodded. "Last night he told me he loved me. I never thought that he . . . How is he going to feel when he finds out I gave away his son, our son."

Natalie wrapped her arms around the older woman. She wanted to tell her not to say a word. After all these years what difference would it make, especially now when they were so close to finding happiness, but then she remembered all that not being honest had cost her.

"You just have to tell him. The sooner the better."

They heard Jonas calling for them and she quickly composed herself.

"Woman, I've been looking everywhere for you." He said. "What do you think?" He asked as he showed off his new look.

"Were they starting to recognize you from the posters at the post office?" She said trying to force a light note into her voice.

He made a face. "Are you ready to go to lunch?" He asked and she nodded. Natalie watched them walk away with a sinking feeling in her stomach. She sighed and leaned against the building.

"Hey, I got your chili cheese fries." Curran smiled as he joined her. "What's wrong?" He asked the moment he saw her face.

"Let's go for a walk. I'm not hungry anymore anyway."

* * *

"And apparently she gave the baby up for adoption. She's probably telling him right now." Natalie sighed. "This is awful."

"Maybe it won't be."

"How can you say that? He is going to hit the roof when he finds out what she did."

"Maybe he won't."

"This is Jonas we're talking about. He hit the roof when he found out they delivered the wrong toilet paper."

"Yeah, but most of his blustering is affected, you know that. Jonas knows what kind of man he was then. He also knows what kind of man he wants to be now. Maybe he knows how to love now. Maybe he knows how to forgive."

"Do you really think so?"

"Sometimes you just have to have faith in people, Natalie." He slipped his arm around her shoulder as they walked.

"Did you get to see him before he left?" She finally asked as she allowed his words to sink in and comfort her.

"No."

"He actually died his hair."

"Really, what color?"

"Its original color I assume." She laughed.

Curran looked disappointed. "I was kind of hoping for purple."

"He did it for Abigail. She didn't want him going around looking like Burl Ives." She explained. ""Do you have any idea who Burl Ives is?"

"Sure, he was Sam the snowman narrator on Rudloph."

"Oh, yeah. You know, Jonas did kind of look like him." Natalie said. "Sam was totally a better snowman than Frosty."

"Definitely. Sam had Holly Jolly Christmas and all Frosty does is go around saying Happy Birthday." He said and they laughed. "Feel better."

"Yeah, actually, I do. Thank you."

"That's my job."

* * *

Jonas and Abigail didn't come back from lunch and in spite of Curran's reassuring words she was nervous. She couldn't concentrate on anything else. Jonas didn't return to the theater until after seven and he came back alone.

"What are you still doing here?" He asked.

"I was just catching up on things."

"No, you weren't."

"I just . . ."

"It's okay. He held up a hand. "I'm going to tell you a secret."

"I wish you wouldn't. That hasn't really worked out for me today."

He smiled. "When I bought this old place somewhere in the back of my mind I was hoping it would bring her back into my life." His eyes held the distant look of long treasured memories. "And she did. That was a miracle. What was n even bigger miracle was that she still cared for me..." He paused and Natalie didn't say anything. "She told me everything."

"Jonas, she . . ."

"Its okay, Natalie," He said, gently. "I'm not angry with her. I'm feeling a million different things right now but anger isn't one of them. At least not at her." He ran a hand through his hair and sat down. "I'm angry at myself because I know it's my fault. Abigail made the best decisions she could for our son, and she had to make them alone. That's on me. I know that. I would have been a lousy husband and a lousy father."

Natalie could see his regret and she gently put a hand on his shoulder. He put his hand over hers and they sat quietly for a moment. "She gave him the cigarette case, you know." He finally said. "Well, she gave it to his adoptive parents. Maybe they gave it to him. I don't really know but he has a little piece of Abigail and I with him. It was the best part I had to give at the time."

She wasn't sure but she thought she saw him wipe away a tear and then he abruptly stood. "Well, I'm glad you and Abigail get along well because she's going to be around here, bossing us all around a lot more." He said with a grimace but she saw the twinkle in his eye. "Go home now. Work isn't everything. It'll be here tomorrow."

"Hey, how was your day?" John asked when he came in later that night.

"Oh, secrets from the past, illegitimate children, and eventual happy endings."

"The usual, huh?" he laughed.

"Do you think we have one of those in us, John?"

"What?"

"A happy ending?"

"Natalie, I . . ." he said impatiently.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She dropped the subject quickly. "So, Sam or Frosty?" She asked too brightly.

"Excuse me?"

"Who was the better snowman? Sam from Rudolph or Frosty?"

"He sighed and shook his head. "I don't know. Frosty, I guess... I'm just going to grab a shower and then I will probably have to go back to the station for awhile."

"Sure. No problem." She answered and it scared her a little at how accustomed she was becoming to seeing him walk out the door.

_Author's note: the view's and opinions expressed by the characters concerning the merits of Frosty and Sam the Snowmen are not necessarily those of the author. But Sam kicks Frosty's ass._


	9. Chapter 9

"Where are my peons?" Jonas shouted into the quiet theater.

Curran and Natalie exchanged looks over the coffee they had just made and note even touched yet. "What is the despot doing here so early?" Natalie asked, sitting her cup down with a sigh.

"I don't know but we'd better get out there before he starts terrorizing the peasants." He smiled and they walked out into the lobby. "You bellowed, sire?" Curran bowed.

"I bought a jukebox. They're unloading it now." Jonas told them.

"A jukebox?" Natalie repeated.

"Not just any jukebox. It's a Wurlitzer and it's in great shape too."

"But why would you buy a jukebox?"

"Because it has at least four prime Temptations songs on there and Abigail has always loved the Temptations. Her birthday is Sunday."

"And you couldn't just buy her a boxed set like a normal person?" Natalie asked but he ignored her.

"I'm going to hide it in my office for now. It does need a few "minor" adjustments. Don't worry; the guy assured me it would be an easy fix. Now I just have a few more arrangements to make."

Natalie shook her head as she watched Jonas walk away. "I'm not sure about this new romantic side of Jonas." She said and turned around to find Curran looking over the jukebox. "You're not seriously going to try and fix that thing are you?"

"Why not? You don't think I'm good with my hands?"

She looked at his hands. They were strong but smooth, the fingers long and delicate, and his nails neatly trimmed and clean. "I think the most work you've ever done with those fair hands is . . ."

"You okay?" Curran asked when she didn't finish her sentence.

She couldn't explain it but while she was teasing him this overwhelming sense of déjà vu had come over her. She felt as if there was something she should know, something she should remember that was just out of her grasp.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She finally answered him. "I'm just going to see if I can find Jukeboxes for Dummies on the computer."

"Good idea. Things always turn out better when we do them together." He winked.

* * *

Bo Buchanan stepped into the theater and turned around as he gave the place an admiring once over. The place was really starting to shape up nicely and he thought back to all the Westerns he had grown up watching in theaters just like this one.

"What are "you" here to inspect?" Jonas met him in the lobby. "Because about the only thing left is my . . ."

Bo held up a restraining hand "Whoa, now just hold on. I'm not here to inspect anything. My niece works here and I just wanted to come by and see the place."

"Oh, you just wanted to make sure I don't beat them regularly and chain them to the walls." He said, leading Bo to his office where they could hear the sound of muffled arguing coming from behind the closed door.

"And do you?" Bo asked, trying to keep his voice stern and hide his amusement. Natalie had already warned him about her new curmudgeon of a boss.

Before Jonas could answer they heard a loud eerie, groaning sound coming from the office and then the lights began to flicker, dim and then go out all together. "Apparently not as often as I should." Jonas finally answered.

Natalie suddenly came running out of the office, past them and through a door marked Employees Only. "What the hell is going on? Do we have poltergeists now?" Jonas shouted after her but she didn't answer him. "You do realize I have no idea where the fire extinguishers are?" He snapped and then winced as he realized he had just made that confession in front of a police officer. "They hide things, you know." He mumbled. "Who, the poltergeists?", Bo quipped.

"We don't need them yet." Natalie called as the lights came back on and the mournful sounds from the office finally blended into the distinctive smooth sounds of Motown as the record finally got up to speed."

"We have Temptations!" Curran announced, proudly.

"We all do son, but that's no reason to be proud of it." Jonas said by way of a thank you and then he turned back to Bo. "I bet you were a young man before she came to work for you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Uncle Bo." Natalie greeted him with a hug. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I just wanted to come by and make sure you're being treated right at your new job." He smiled affectionately. "Are things always like this?"

"Oh no, you caught us on a slow day." She laughed. "This is Curran."

"It's nice to meet you, sir. I've heard a lot about you." Curran shook his hand.

"All good things I hope."

"Ten feet tall and bullet proof." Curran smiled.

"So you two really fixed this?" He asked standing in front of the now perfectly working Wurlitzer.

"Apparently Jonas forgot to put jukebox repair in the job description but yeah we managed to get it working." Natalie laughed.

"It's all about teamwork. Natalie is the brains and I'm the . . ."

"Brawn." Natalie supplied.

"I was going to say cannon fodder."

"It wasn't my fault. If you would have just listened to me there would have been no ball of flame and no scary white lights. I did say duck."

"It's okay. I never liked those eyebrows anyway." Curran grinned.

Bo was watching their exchange with amused interest but before Natalie could respond Jonas interrupted them. "Curran, get in here. I have a job for a leprechaun."

Curran hung his head and sighed. "Now I almost wish you had succeeded in electrocuting me." He said with a teasing grin. "If you'll excuse me."

"I like your friend." Bo commented after Curran had left the room.

"Everyone does." She said. "Would you like the grand tour?"

"I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with your boss."

"Jonas? Don't worry about that." She said as she led him around the theater.

"You sound like you're really proud of this place." Bo observed.

Natalie thought about that for a moment. "You know, you're right. I mean at first it was just a job, mostly to take my mind off of things but then, I don't know, it started to matter."

"Did you know that I named this place?" She asked him

"No, I didn't. I like the name."

"I also picked out the tile for the lobby and designed the logo that's going to be on the neon sign Jonas doesn't know he ordered yet."

Bo laughed. "I really miss you around the station, kiddo. The place just isn't the same without you."

"What you mean is the coffee just isn't the same without me." She couldn't help blushing a little as she remembered the humiliating chain of events that had led her to seek a new job in the first place.

"That too." He smiled. "I'm really glad you found something that seems to make you happy."

She looked around the theater, evidence of their hard work all around her. They were building something here and she was a part of it. She could hear Jonas bellowing about something in the background, something he would hand over to her and trust her to take care of for him and she smiled. "I don't know how it happened but I am happy here."

She said goodbye to her uncle and waked back inside the theater where Jonas was making some sort of proclamation. "Okay, I, your fearless leader, will be leaving now and I will be taking Abigail with me. If I'm lucky then, as the song says, I won't be back for many a day. I don't want you to worry though because I am going to be leaving you with detailed instructions to be carried out in my absence. It will be like I am not even gone."

He handed Curran several pages stapled together and he glanced at Natalie. "I definitely don't like the new romantic side of Jonas." She sighed.

"All hail Ceasar."

* * *

"Hi, John. I just saw Natalie." Bo said when he got back to the station.

"Natalie was here?"

"No, I went by the theater. Have you met that boss of hers?"

"No, I haven't been by there."

"You should. He's a real character and the place is looking great. You know, it's really nice to see someone restoring one of those old theaters." Bo said and then laughed. "When I went by there he had Natalie and . . ." He searched his memory for the name.

"Curran." John supplied.

"Yeah, he had them trying to get this old Wurlitzer jukebox running. I'll tell you for a moment there I thought they were going to burn the entire place down but they got it going."

"A jukebox? In a movie theater? That sounds a little unusual."

"I think they work in an atmosphere of controlled chaos around there."

"Well, Natalie is real good at controlling things."

Bo gave the younger man a thoughtful look. "I take it things still aren't going well between you two."

"I don't know, Bo. We need to talk about some things and . . . I was going to take her out to dinner and talk to her but then there was that robbery and she was off somewhere with Curran."

"Do you think there's something going on between them?"

"No. I think he is a distraction. You know, she pulled that stunt with the fibers and got herself kicked out of the forensic program and now she's just playing around with this movie theater. She should be focusing on what she's going to do now."

Bo was silent for a moment. "You should go by there, John, She seems to be happy with what she's doing there and from what I can see she's doing a great job."

"I'm just saying she can't hide away there forever. I mean ever since this Irish Pollyanna has come into her life she . . ." He paused when he realized Bo was laughing at him. "What?"

"Irish Pollyanna?"

"You've met the guy, right?"

Bo nodded. "He seemed like a nice guy. They seem to be good friends. Is that what is really bothering you abut him."

"That's not it. It's a gut reaction. I'm a cop, Bo and when I see some guy who seems to travel around a lot, who has no close ties to anyone and takes one menial job after another and then suddenly starts ingratiating himself with a woman who just happens to come from a wealthy family. I'm sorry but that makes me a little suspicious of his motives."

"You seem to know a lot about this Curran. Did you learn this over a few beers at Rodi's?"

John's first reaction was to become defensive but when he saw the amused smile on Bo's face he have him a guilty smile. "Okay, I admit it. I ran him."

"And?"

"And, what little I could find on him at all was clean." He admitted.

"No history of getting close to wealthy women and then taking off?"

"No." John laughed. "But like I said, there wasn't much on him at all. That's a little unusual in itself."

"You know what I think?" Bo said. "I think you need to have that talk with Natalie. You need to finally say whatever it is you need to say to her."

John sighed. "Yeah, yeah I do."

* * *

"What is that?" Natalie asked. They had finished waxing and polishing the new tile floor and were now unpacking some boxes that had been sitting around for a few days.

"Popcorn. Jonas asked for samples from different vendors so he could pick the one he wants for the theater."

"Oh, is testing popcorn on our list?" She asked innocently.

"No, but I'm sure that's just an oversight."

"I'm sure it was also his intention that we test the projector and that film that's in his office."

"You're the manager. I just follow orders."

An hour later they were sitting in the cool dark of the theater. They had taken their shoes off and their legs were stretched out on the empty seats in front of them as they watched Mortimer Brewster trying to cope with his matronly but homicidal Aunts in Arsenic and Old Lace.

"You know, sometimes I think we must have been around in the thirties and forties. I've always had a real affinity for that era. I feel like we knew Cary Grant."

"Really?" Natalie said as she passed down a tub of popcorn and picked up a new one. "How well did we . . ."

"Not that well." He answered quickly.

"Wait a minute. You're jealous of a movie icon that died before we were even born but you're not jealous of John who is alive and well and just happens to be my boyfriend."

"This is Cary Grant we're talking about. Who competes with Cary Grant?"

"Well, don't worry since, according to you, it's not like he's coming back." She sighed heavily.

"You don't have to sound so disappointed about it."

Natalie tried to hide her grin with a handful of popcorn. She was enjoying getting a reaction from the normally cool Curran. "Oh my gosh." She said suddenly. "This is it. This is the one." She handed him the tub of popcorn.

"You're right. This one is perfect." He said with his mouth full.

"Which one is it?"

He examined the box and then gave her a sheepish smile. "I forgot to label them."

"I guess its back to the drawing board then."

Natalie started the next round of popcorn while Curran was messing around with the jukebox. She glanced up when she saw him slide across the floor in his socks.

"Is that your Tom Cruise impersonation?"

"No, we don't have a couch." He answered. "I found Ella on the jukebox so I'm checking the floor for slickability."

"Where do I even start with that? First of all, what is slickability and how does it relate to Ella?"

"We have the perfect slickability for dancing. With the right amount of slickability anyone can look graceful."

"You're nuts."

"Probably, but come dance with me and you'll see I'm right about this. Please. It's not even a slow song."

She shook her head but when he reached out his hand to her she took it and allowed him to spin her around as he sang along with the song.

"Love you madly. Right or wrong. Sounds like a lyric of a song."

"Don't you ever listen to anything from this century?"

"Hey, I have the obligatory Chris Daughtry CD but you can hear that anytime." He said and she laughed. "Hey, did you know that Ella Fitzgerald said she owed Marilyn Monroe a big debt of gratitude for her career."

"Marilyn Monroe?"

"Yeah, apparently Monroe called the owner of this really hot nightclub at the time called the Mocambo and told him that if he would book Ella in his club she would come every night and it at the front table. She knew the press would go nuts and his club would be packed. Ella never had to play another small jazz club after that."

"How do you know all of this stuff?"

"I told you. I read a lot. It's . . ."

"I know, I know. It's one of the things I . . ."

She stopped talking and he dipped her. They didn't move and she was only aware of how very close his face was to hers, the secure feeling of his arms supporting her and the pure sounds of Ella Fitzgerald as she sang:

_If you could see the happy you and me_

_I dream about so proudly_

_You'd know the breath of spring_

_That makes me sing_

_My love song so proudly_

The moment felt almost surreal, timeless, as if they could be frozen there forever but then he finally smiled and whispered. "I think we have an audience." He continued to support her with one arm while waving to the little girls who were peering at them through the glass doors of the lobby.

"Don't you think you should let me go now?" Natalie said with a laugh.

"I could never let you go." He said with a mischievous grin but he reluctantly let her go.

Natalie was saved from having to say anything else by the sound of her cell phone ringing. "Hey, it's me."

"John." She said, wondering why she felt a sudden pang of guilt.

"I was hoping maybe you could meet me at the station. We never got a chance to have that talk the other night."

"Sure. I'll be there soon." She said and hung up. "Would it be okay if I left now?

"You're the boss." Curran said with a smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She said awkwardly as she gathered her things.

"Natalie." He said, just as she reached the door and she turned back to him. "When you need me, I'll be there."

She started to ask why he would say that but instead she just smiled and stepped out the door.

* * *

"Hey, do you want to go get something to eat?" John asked when she met him in his office.

"No, I've eaten so much popcorn I really think I might be sick." She smiled. She didn't want to tell him that it wasn't just the popcorn that was making her feel nauseas.

"Okay, let's just get out of here so we can go somewhere and talk."

"We don't need to talk. I know you're not happy with the way things are between us. Neither am I.'

"So, what are we going to do about that?"

"I don't know. I don't even understand what happened between us. I mean we were in a good place before your accident and afterwards, when I thought you were dead and your Mom brought me that ring and at first I didn't know if it made things better or worse. I had this symbol that you had loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me but that was all. Just a ring. And then I got you back and it was a miracle but since then, that ring and what it all meant felt . . . false." She had been pacing around the room but stopped when she saw something pass over his face. "Was it false, John?"

He ran his hand through his hair and then turned to face her. Natalie, I have to tell you something about that ring." He paused and took a breath. "When I asked my mom for that ring it wasn't because I was ready to propose."

She stared at him in confusion for a moment. "I don't understand."

"We were in a good place then and I felt . . . happy. I asked my Mom for the ring just in case the feeling . . ."

"Just in case the mood ever struck you?" She asked in disbelief "So, it was all false. It was all a lie."

"I love you, that wasn't a lie."

"But you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with me. And you never did." Natalie wasn't sure how she felt. All these months they had been struggling and she had borne the guilt of being the one to blame for losing what they had before the accident. He had been ready to marry her and she kept screwing things up. But he hadn't been ready to marry her, not even then when things were so good between them. "What does this mean? Do you want to break up with me?"

She was holding her breath as she waited for his answer, knowing that if he said yes it was going to change her life forever but before he could answer Marty Saybrooke burst into the office and the next thing she knew he was ushering her out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry I really am but I got to take care of this."

"No, John. I need to know now. Maybe you've all ready decided that this relationship doesn't mean anything to you anymore, but it still means everything to me. This is my life and you can't just ask me to wait. You just can't."

"Natalie, it's my job. I . . ."

"It is not your job, John. There are rules and procedures that she could be following with any other officer. Remember those regulations, you used to put a lot of pride in them."

"I remember I've had to bend quite a few rules for you." He shot back.

"And I thought that was because I was special to you."

John took a breath. "I just have to take care of this. We will talk about everything later. I promise. Everything." He said and walked back into his office.

She stood there for a moment but she knew there was nothing left to say.

* * *

She walked as far as Angel Square and then just stopped. She felt like she had come to a crossroads with no paths left to take.

Natalie sensed his presence even before he said her name.

"I don't know where to go." She told him simply. "Whenever I was upset or even when I wasn't I could go to the roof and John would find me there but now . . . there's nowhere to go. There are no safe places anymore."

"Yes, there are." Curran said gently and held out his arms to her. She took one look into his eyes and the tears she had been holding back burst forth. She allowed him to pull her into his arms.

"I don't understand." She sobbed against his chest. "What did I do wrong?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, I did. It had to be something. I pushed him too hard or . . ."

Curran pulled way so that he could look down into her face. He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why doesn't he love me?"

"He did the best he could." He pulled her close to him and let her cry. He held her as if he were shielding her from the rest of the world and for a moment she felt as if nothing could touch her and she was able to grieve for what she was losing with John.

* * *

"How did you know?" Natalie asked later, once all the tears were gone.

"I felt it. I knew something was wrong and I had to find you."

"Why?"

"Because "I" am your safe place. I told you when you needed me I would be there."

"Right." She said with a bitter smile. "I forgot. Well, I bet you're just loving this, aren't you.'

"What?"

"Well, this plays right into your little fantasy of . . ."

"Natalie, look at my face." He ordered quietly. "Do you honestly believe that this brings me any sort of pleasure? If you hurt, then I hurt. I never wanted this for you."

She gazed into his eyes and no matter how hurt and angry she was she knew he was telling the truth. "I'm sorry. I know that you believe that somehow things work out the way they are supposed to. I don't know how to do that...'

"I can't explain it. I just know."

"How can you believe so easily? You believe that you love me, that you have always loved me and that our finding each other again in this life is somehow our reward for some great good that we once did. What if you're wrong, Curran?"

"About us?"

"About this being a reward. Did you ever think that maybe it was a punishment? Why would we have to come back and find each other again when we could have just gone on and been together for eternity?"

"It's not a punishment."

"How do you know that? What great good have we accomplished? If you even knew half the things I've done . . . and tonight when John blew me off to go with Marty do you know what I did? I sent Todd after them. Trust me a good person would not have done that."

"You were hurt and you were angry. That doesn't make you a bad person." He told her. "There's an old Sulu legend about a righteous man who was granted a wish from God. The man wished that he could go around doing good and not know about it. God thought it was such a good wish that he bestowed it on all of mankind. This life, this love, it's not just about us, Natalie.'

She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "Do you have one of those damn stories tucked away for ever occasion?"

"Pretty much."

* * *

"Thanks, Curran. I think I'm just going to walk around for awhile." She told him later. She didn't know how much time had passed since she had left John's office but she knew he was probably back by now.

"Then I'll walk with you."

"I'm fine. You don't have to do that."

"I have to see you home. Wherever you decide that is. I have to see you home."

She knew it was pointless to argue with him. "Home? That is a very good question. I thought my home was with John but . . ." she let her voice trail off "I could go back to Llanfair but that brings up images of tails tucked between legs."

"Well, you could. . . "

"I'm not staying with you." She said firmly.

"Not that the thought doesn't make my heart all aflutter but I was going to suggest the theater."

"The theater?"

"Yeah, remember Jonas converted the upstairs into a loft apartment. He was going to move in after the theater was completed. The bathroom has all ready been installed and I think there is even a bed up there."

"You know, sometimes you are a genius."

Curran took her back to the theater and helped her get the room ready for the night. She collapsed on the newly made bed. "I am so tired but I don't think I will ever sleep again." She mumbled and was asleep almost before she finished her sentence.

She awoke once during the night when a bad dream threatened to overtake her. She opened her eyes and thought she saw Curran sitting near the bed watching over her as she slept. She wasn't sure if it was real or part of her dream. She only knew that she was in a safe place now and that nothing bad could ever get past him.

_Author's note: I just wanted to take a moment to say how great it is find a medium that allows you to discuss with your peers the pressing philosophical questions of the day such as the merits of our iconic snow people. I'm sorry to say Frosty has not fared so well in the latest polls. People seem to prefer any other character to our simple minded pipe smoking bundle. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. Thanks to PCGirl for the dedication and to everyone else who allows me to come out and play with them on the weekends._


	10. Chapter 10

Natalie awoke slowly, like someone recovering from a long illness, testing to see how strong she felt before she moved. She sat up in bed and pulled her knees up to her chest, looking around the empty room and trying to sort through her scattered emotions.

"Good morning." Curran said softly. He was standing by the window, the morning sun bathing him in a golden glow. He looked like the hero from a fairytale and she felt the urge to cry and laugh at the same time.

"You didn't have to stay here all night."

"Of course I did."

"Curran, if you think that just because John and I . . ."

'You know me better than that." He interrupted, gently.

She started to point out that she barely knew him at all but it would have been a lie. She knew he would never take advantage of anyone, least of all her.

"You don't have to worry about me." She told him.

"I won't."

"Because I'm going to be okay."

"I know."

"I'm strong, everyone says so."

"You don't have to be." He said and she met his steady gaze. "If you don't want to be strong you don't have to be. I'm here now."

"Thank you." She said quietly, unsure of how else to respond to him. "I think I'm just going to go make some coffee."

"Go ahead. I'll straighten things up here."

Natalie started down the stairs to the lobby so preoccupied that at first she didn't even realize that they weren't alone in the theater until it was too late.

"Natalie!" Abigail greeted her warmly.

"Hey, you're back early." Natalie said, glancing back at the stairs and wondering how she was going to explain why she was there so early in her rumpled clothes with Curran. It would be obvious to anyone that they had spent the night there together. "Did you have a good trip?"

"Well, I certainly did and I think in spite of his best efforts Jonas did as well."

"It was okay." Jonas mumbled as he looked at Natalie, suspiciously. "We went to that antique store, you know the one where I sent you to pick up a few posters and you brought back the four hundred dollar fire hazard." He nodded toward the vintage popcorn maker.

"It works just fine. Trust me."

"Well, as long as you're here I bought some things so if you want to go out to my car and . . ."

"Jonas." Abigail admonished. "I want to show you the gift I bought for Jonas. The young man who runs that store helped me pick it out. He has a very good eye."

"He certainly saw you coming." Jonas grumbled as Abigail proudly held out what looked like a copper bucket.

Natalie tried to feign her enthusiasm while giving Jonas an imploring look. He just smiled as if to say she was going to have to figure this out on her own.

"It's perfect for Jonas and the theater, don't you think." Abigail said.

Natalie lifted the lid and gave Jonas a triumphant smile. "It's an ice bucket. But what's with the wino on the front." She said looking at the small figure clinging to a lamp post recessed into the front of the bucket.

"That's not a wino, silly. It's Gene Kelly."

"Gene Kelly? How can you tell?"

"Because it's musical. Listen." Abigail wound a key in the back and the unmistakable tinkling tones of "Singin' in the Rain" emitted from the bucket. "That's why it's so perfect for the theater."

"I'm sure he had been waiting years to find the right person to unload that on." Jonas said."

"You just have no appreciation for kitsch." Abigail sighed. "And don't let him fool you. Mr. Boone had you wrapped around his finger."

"He's the owner, right?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, and apparently he and Jonas have a lot in common. They were talking for hours about old airplanes. He even took Jonas up in his plane."

"You're kidding." Natalie said, trying to picture Jonas n the old by plane. "You won't even let me drive you to lunch."

"I can't afford anymore of your tickets."

"Good morning." Curran greeted them as he walked in through the front door and Natalie smiled. He must have heard them downstairs and slipped out down the fire escape to avoid any embarrassing questions. He might be a little crazy but no one could ever accuse him of not being a gentleman.

"Hey, where did you find this?" He grinned as he examined the ice bucket Abigail had set on the counter.

"You see, he likes it."

"What does that tell you?" Jonas and Natalie said at the same time.

"It's perfect. You should always have a touch of whimsy in your life."

* * *

Natalie smiled as she watched them, the sound of their friendly arguing was soothing and for that one brief moment she could almost believe that everything was going to be okay. 

Natalie was sitting behind Jonas' desk staring unseeingly at the computer screen in front of her. She had slipped into the office under the pretence of work but she just needed to be alone, to try and sort out what she was feeling.

She felt someone slip an arm around her shoulder and she looked up in surprise at Jonas.

"Do you need to cry or something?" He asked awkwardly.

"No."

"We could listen to some sad songs on the jukebox?"

She laughed a little. "That's okay."

"Mark my words. He's going to regret this someday."

"Did Curran tell you?"

"No, but there are things that even I can recognize. Loss and regret are at the top of the list. I'm on intimate terms with both."

"You mean what happened with you and Abigail." She said, gently.

"It's very hard to look back on life with the knowledge of what might have been. I searched and fought for so long for a happiness that was there all the time. I could have had love and I could have had . . ."

"A son?"

"Abigail asked me if I wanted to try and find him."

"And?"

"And what? I was never a father to him. I wouldn't have known how to be then and I certainly don't know how now. What on earth would I have to offer him. I'm not exactly Dad material. I won't interfere in his life just because a selfish old man now wishes . . ." He cut his words off and looked at her with a tenderness she had rarely seen him show.

"I know that Abigail would probably know what to say to you right now but I don't want her to confuse you with her romantic notions. I know that she would tell you that love triumphs over all, puppies never die and the Grinch's heart can grow three times its size."

"Yours did." Natalie interrupted and he gave her a scowl.

"Do you mind? This doesn't exactly come naturally to me. My point is that I'm not going to tell you that. No one should be allowed to deny you or make you wait for the love that you deserve until it's a convenient time for them. You are worth more than that. One of the most wonderful and most humbling experiences of my life was finding Abigail after all these years and realizing that she had been just fine without me."

Jonas finished his speech and then immediately looked embarrassed. "I just wanted to tell you that I don't thing I'm going to need that apartment upstairs so you can stay there as long as you like." He said and started for the door. "I'll just deduct the rent from your paycheck." He said over his shoulder and Natalie laughed. Now that was the Jonas she knew and loved.

* * *

Natalie was sitting cross legged in the middle of the spacious apartment, trying to imagine what it would be like to live there. There was no denying that the apartment could be amazing. Jonas had done a beautiful job of having it remodeled while staying true to the architectural features of the old building, like the exposed brick and the large arched windows. 

She heard the creak of the hardwood floors as Curran stepped into the room. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I just needed to know if you're okay."

"It's okay." She gave him a welcoming smile and he sat down on the floor beside her.

"I brought you something."

"Did Jonas get the vendors to send him samples of concession stand candy or maybe nachos because comfort food would be totally appropriate?"

"Sorry it's just this." He said, handing her a key chain. The keychain was attached to a heavy coin that looked as if it had been split down the middle. Emblazoned across the split was a white shield bearing a red cross in the center with a spear through the cross.. A pair of extremely white hands extended toward the spear. She didn't know why but the coin gave her a little chilland for a moment she couldn't take her eyes off of the hands.

"I put the key to the apartment on here. Just in case you decided to stay here."

She looked around the apartment again. "You know, I've never really had a home of my own before. I know that I can go to Llanfair anytime and my Mom will welcome me with open arms. But no matter how desperately I've tried it's still always a reminder of the home I could have had, they share a history my family has with that house that I can never be a part of." She tried to explain "There was the cottage with Christian but it was only home while he was there, and then there was the room with John but I didn't even officially live there."

"I'm sure he saw it differently."

"Yeah." She nodded. "I've never had a home that belonged just to me, where my security there didn't depend on someone else." She took the keychain from him and smiled as she looked around her new home. "So, how much do you think he's going to take out of my check for this place."

He slipped an arm around her shoulder. "Are you familiar with the concept of indentured servitude?"

* * *

Natalie was crouched in the narrow space underneath the ticket window, her laptop beside of her, and a pile of shredded movie tickets trying to figure out how to feed them into the old ticket machine Jonas had found somewhere. So far all she had accomplished was adding a few more expletives to her, thanks to Roxy, already extensive vocabulary. She closed the paned, hit the button and held her breath as the machine made a sound like a congested blender. "Come on. I followed the diagram perfectly you son of a . . ." 

"Natalie." Viki's voice startled her. She raised up quickly and banged her head on the top of the counter.

"Are you okay. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm fine. And this just officially became Jonas' problem." She laughed. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I thought I might come by and see if I could take you out for lunch."

"And to check up on me?" Natalie said with a knowing smile.

"Well, I am your mother and it's my prerogative. I just wanted to know how you were doing."

"I'm doing okay, Mom. I stay pretty busy around here with the grand opening looming and it's a full time job just to keep Jonas from stroking out. Do you want to see my apartment?"

"I would very much."

"It's still kind of a mess." Natalie warned as she opened the door and let her Mom inside. The apartment was only sparsely furnished so far. She had lined the walls with some of the vintage posters that she was counting on Jonas to have forgotten he had and a few pieces of furniture. Curran's chess board sat on a table underneath one of the large windows because she had somehow allowed herself to be talked into learning the game. And… a large horse was sitting in the middle of the room.

"Interesting décor." Viki said trying to hide her amusement.

"What the hell?" Natalie said as she walked over to the mechanical horse. "Curran." She realized. She recognized the horse from the antique shop and who else would give her a coin operated horse. There was a big red bow tied around his neck and a card.

_Everyone needs a touch of whimsy in their life. Now you can escape to your magical kingdom anytime you want. I'll be waiting for you there_

"It's a housewarming gift from my friend Curran." Natalie explained. "I wonder how he got it in here. I mean you should have seen us trying to get the couch up here."

"Your friend Curran has rather unusual tastes."

"You have no idea how unusual Curran is." She said as her cell phone began to ring.

"Hi, did you get your gift?" Curran asked cheerfully.

"It was kind of hard to miss."

"Does that mean you like it? Because, look at it his way, you're definitely going to be Bree's coolest Aunt."

"I'm her only aunt."

"Then consider it a way to supplement your income. We can bring it down to the lobby before each show and extort money from all the parents with bored kids in line."

"You're not right." She laughed.

"So, are we still on for lunch? I'm starving."

Natalie had completely forgotten about meeting him for lunch. She covered the phone with her hand and turned to her mom. "Would you mind if Curran met us for lunch."

"No." Viki said quickly as she looked at the horse. "I'm looking forward to meeting your friend."

Before Natalie could respond they could hear Jonas downstairs. "What the hell are you doing down here, making confetti. This is not Enron. What are you trying to hide."

"It sounds like I have a few thing to finish up around here so just meet my mom and I at the Palace in about an hour."

* * *

Curran arrived at the restaurant first. He waited in front of the bar and checked his reflection in the mirror. His hair was still damp from his rushed shower and the tie he had put on seemed to be mocking him, no matter what he did it just didn't look right. He untied the tie and tried again but each time it looked worse than the other. In the mirror he noticed a woman watching him, an amused look on her face. 

"Does this look straight to you?" He asked her.

"It looks just fine."

"Just fine." He frowned. "I was really kind of hoping for irresistible."

"I see."

"Oh no, it's not a date." He explained. "There is a girl and she's 'the girl'. I'm meeting her Mom today and it's really important that I make a good impression."

"Sure sounds serious."

"Oh, it is. To me it's very serious but she doesn't believe yet. In fact, she thinks I'm a little nuts but the moment I saw her, I knew."

"You knew?"

"I knew I loved her. I knew I always had and I always would and I know that if she gives me a chance I can make her happy."

"You sound very confident."

"She's amazing and she doesn't even realize it, fearless and fun. She gets people, understands their frailties and has the power to help them. She's really protective and loyal to the people that she loves and the only person I know who could get a moving violation in a car that's out of gas." He laughed.

"She sounds very special."

"She is and if she would let me love her there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, there's nothing I wouldn't set aside for her. My life would be hers. That's why it's so important that I make a good impression. I don't want her family to think I'm some landless knave. I don't want to shame her.'

"You must care very much for this girl."

"Are you kidding?" He grinned. "Feel my heart."

"Pardon me?"

"Seriously, go ahead." He closed his eyes and placed her hand over his heart. "Okay, right now I'm doing that whole Zen, clearing my mind kind of thing." He said and she could feel the steady rhythmic beating of his heart. "Now I'm thinking of her." He smiled and she could feel his heart begin an exhilarated race.

"Mom?"

Curran's eyes shot open at the sound of her voice "I see you two have all ready met."

"Well not officially. He just needed some help with his tie." Viki said, giving his tie an unnecessary adjustment."

"That's okay, Mrs. Davidson. You can tell her. She takes a particular delight in my making an ass of myself.'

"Oh my god. What have you done?"

"Don't listen to him he's been perfectly charming."

"I think our table is ready." He offered his arm to Viki who gave Natalie a bemused look as the were led to their table.

"So, your grand opening is coming up?" Viki said conversationally once they had placed their order.

"Yes ma'am. Natalie has done an amazing job there." Curran said proudly.

"I haven't really done anything. Lately it seems my most important job is deciding how much salt should go into the popcorn."

"Don't be silly." He patted her hand. "Jonas would never allow you to be in charge of salting the popcorn."

"And why not?"

"Because you always put too much."

"I do not."

"You're a class action lawsuit waiting to happen. You know I love you but you are careless with the salt, and I wont even mention the butter.'

"I'm careless." Natalie glanced at Viki. "This from a man who uses blank checks as bookmarks."

"Deer line up at the concession stand, Natalie."

Natalie started to respond but Curran's phone rang. "It's Jonas. I'll take it in the lobby so I can tell him I don't see you.'

Curran leaned over to Viki and whispered conspiratorially "If you want you can tell her all about how the lady behind the bar who was checking me out. A little jealousy never hurt anyone." He held out his thumb and forefinger about an inch apart.

"About this much?" She demonstrated. He looked from her to Natalie and then moved her fingers another quarter of an inch.

"I'm sorry about that." Natalie said after he had gone. "He's certifiable but he doesn't appear to be a threat to himself or others."

"Oh, I don't know. He has a certain charm." Viki said remembering the tenderness in his voice as he had unknowingly described her daughter to her.

"Yeah, he's a real lily." Natalie muttered and she gave her a confused look. "I'm just not surprised. Everyone likes him.'

"Well, it is hard to resist a man in a Snoopy tie." Viki laughed.

"It matches his boxer shorts." She said absently and then blushed when she realized how that must sound. "I was helping him pack and . . . never mind.'

"Did you miss me?" Curran asked as he rejoined them. "It was only a minor crisis but I hope you left the tranquilizer gun loaded." He grinned but then saw the expression on her face change as she watched John walk into the restaurant, accompanied by a smiling Marty Saybrooke.

"Oh dear." Viki said. "Honey, if you want to leave . . ." she started but Natalie was looking intently at Curran who was whispering something into her ear that Viki couldn't hear.

Natalie took a deep breath and sat up in the chair. "I'm okay, Mom. We're going to run into each other every now and then. I can handle it.'

Viki didn't know what Curran had said to her but she believed her. Curran wasn't going to have to worry about the impression he was making on her.

The rest of their lunch was uneventful and enjoyable. Natalie managed to get through it without looking in John's direction once. John, however found himself stealing glances at their table ever few minutes. He had stiffened the moment he had stepped into the restaurant and saw her. He was expecting her to make a scene when he saw him with Marty. He thought he was going to have to explain to her that there was nothing going on. Not really. But she hadn't made a scene and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

"John." Marty's voice was a combination of amusement and irritation as she had to bring his attention back to her for the third time.

"I'm sorry, I just . . ."

"Why don't you just go over there and talk to her?'

"No. Natalie and I, we don't really have anything else to say to each other."

"Uh huh." She said doubtfully but she didn't press the issue. Unlike some people he knew she could recognize when it was time to back off.

He half listened to Marty's attempts to make conversation but his attention kept getting drawn back to Natalie's table and that guy. He wasn't really jealous but the bursts of laughter he kept hearing from their table was distracting. This guy was definitely a smooth operator. He seemed to have even Viki Davidson , usually an excellent judge of character, eating out of the palm of his hand.

He saw them finally get up to leave and impulse pulled him out of his seat. Marty raised an eyebrow at him. "She still hasn't come to get her stuff out of my place. I just need to know when she's going to get it out of my way." He told her as he hurried out after them. He stepped quickly out into the lobby and thought he had lost them but as he turned to go back into the dining room he literally ran into Natalie, knocking the keys out of her hands.

"I'm sorry." He said, bending quickly to pick them up. His eyes were drawn to the keychain and it's unusual markings. "This is new." He smiled.

"It was sort of a gift." She said and he didn't have to ask who it was from.

"I haven't seen you around. I thought you might come by to get your things."

"I'm sorry about that. The theater open in two weeks and it's been a little crazy."

"Maybe, I could bring them around to Llanfair sometime."

"I'm not staying there." She said and for a moment his stomach tightened. Had she moved in with . . .

"I have my own place now. There's this apartment over the theater. Call it a perk."

"The theater?"

"Yeah." She answered slowly. "What's with that tone? What's wrong with the theater?"

"Nothing." He smiled. "It's just . . . I hate to see you put too much of your life into that place. I know the forensics program was important to you.'

"It was but that part of my life is over now."

He felt a pang at her words but didn't let it show. "I just don't want to see you settle. You've got too much going for you to settle for taking tickets at some move theater."

"Don't worry about me, John. For now, I'm right where I belong." She told him. "I'll ask Roxy if she can get my things out of your way."

He turned to watch her walk away from him and walk toward where Curran was waiting for her. Curran greeted her with a compassionate smile and slipped his arm protectively around her shoulders.

Authors note: Sorry about the delay the system has been down or something and wouldn't take the new chapter, been trying since Saturday night.


	11. Chapter 11

_"I don't want you to do this/" She looked at him imploringly._

_He answered her gently and patiently. "You know I would deny you nothing but this is a matter of honor and in that I have no choice."_

_"Honor? I know I have treated you terrible but I didn't know who you were but now I know I misjudged you. Please, you have nothing to prove to me. I am so sorry."_

_"You don't have to be sorry. I don't want you to be afraid for me but a man is only the sum of his deeds, the rest is mere tripe. I must do this and when it is done I will return to you"_

Natalie woke with a strange sense of sadness she couldn't explain. She reached for the key ring that Curran had given her and ran her fingers over its smooth surface, coming to rest on the pair of white hands. She had taken the coin off of the key ring shortly after he had given it to her. It just seemed too nice to use for a key ring but she found herself carrying it with her anyway because something about it reassured her. She held the coin and her dream and the sadness it had evoked slipped away.

* * *

"Abigail, do you know where I can find Jonas?" Natalie asked, fanning through the stack of invoices she needed him to sign off on.

"He's out in the alley playing with his new toy."

Jonas had formed a fast friendship with Richard Boone, the antique dealer he and Abigail had visited. They both shared a passion for airplanes and Richard had peaked Jonas interest in the elaborate radio controlled model planes. He was even trying to entice Jonas into entering some shows with him. Natalie encouraged his new hobby since it allowed her to get ready for the grand opening, less than a week sway, without a rabid Jonas underfoot.

She stepped into the alley and immediately ducked as Jonas launched his new plane, a replica of Richard's biplane.

"She's a beauty, isn't she?" He grinned happily. "I was thinking of getting a small banner and attaching it to the back, and then I could fly it around the neighborhood to advertise the theater."

Natalie watched as he sent the plane careening down the sidewalk, inciting heated and colorful expletives from pedestrians as he buzzed over their heads. "It looks like a scene from King Kong." She muttered as she tried to calculate the cost of fines and citations.

"By the way Rich left a message for you."

"Oh?" Natalie cringed at the sound of squealing tires and blaring car horns.

"Yes, he says he thinks he has found just the thing for Aunt Becky."

Natalie left Jonas to terrorize the villagers and called Perry to let him know the good news.

"I don't know, Natalie. How am I supposed to get to Pennsylvania without Sarah knowing something is going on?"

Natalie sighed. She knew he was just making excuses because he was afraid of dealing with this and how it was going to affect Sarah. She started to enlighten Perry on the phenomenon of UPS but then she thought of Sarah. She had never been able to escape the feeling that there was something she could have done to help the older woman. "Curran and I will bring it to you." She offered impulsively.

* * *

Marty stepped into John's office, finding him intently going over some files. He didn't notice her at first and he tossed the files on the desk in irritation sending one of them sailing to the floor.

"Rough case?" She asked as she knelt to retrieve the file. She couldn't help noticing the name on the label. "I know this is probably none of my business but do you really think that it's healthy to be spending your time and resources on investigating your ex's new boyfriend.

"He is not her boyfriend." John said sharply. "And it is none of your business."

Marty raised her eyebrow but didn't say anything, forcing John to come up with some sort of explanation or look like a jealous stalker. "Look, Natalie and I have been through a lot together and I like to think we're still friends. I don't trust this guy and I just don't want to see her get hurt."

"And why is it that you don't trust him?"

"I don't know. It's just a gut feeling."

"Are you sure that this "gut feeling" isn't jealousy?"

John tried to hide his anger. "Absolutely not."

"So what did you find?"

"Not much." He admitted. "This guy is like a phantom, drifting from one town to another and leaving very little traces behind." John explained, leaving out that the less information he was able to find on this guy the more the more he really wanted to know. After Marty left he called the only other person he could think of who had known this guy since he arrived, Michael.

* * *

"I hope you know my stroke is going to be on your conscience." Jonas grumbled.

"We're not going to be gone that long and we are so ready for that opening that you could probably do it tonight without me at all."

"Of course I could." He said. "But I don't want to. That's why I have peons."

"We'll be back in plenty of time, I promise."

"Why does it have to be both of you?"

Natalie paused, not sure how to answer that question. She had volunteered so suddenly and it had just seemed natural that Curran would go with her. "Because he knows Perry and Sarah better than I do." She stammered. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"That's what they told the passengers as they boarded the Titanic." He grumped.

"Jonas, I . . ." Natalie's retort was broken by her cell phone "Hello." She answered impatiently.

"Hey, it's me." John said taken aback by the abruptness in her tone. "I was kind of hoping I could talk to you about something. Maybe I could meet you at . . ."

"Can I call you later, John? Now's just not really a good time. I'll call you when I get back."

The phone clicked in his ear and he stared at it dumbly for a moment before facing Michaels' amused smirk.

"I guess she wasn't very receptive to the idea, huh."

"I tell you Mike. I don't know what's gotten into her."

"Come on, John you two aren't together now. You can't very well expect the girl to drop what she's doing just because you call."

"She works at a movie theater, Mike. What the hell does she have to do that is so damn important that she can't take fifteen minutes to talk to me?"

"Well, I'm sure she had to wait plenty of times while you took care of work."

"I'm a cop, Mike, there is a difference."

"Nice attitude, bro."

"You know what I mean. She's changed, Mike I mean she has never blown me off like that before, she always listened to me when I needed to talk, and she was always . . ."

"Available." Mike supplied the word and John glared at him.

"Are you trying to imply something here?"

"I'm just saying that maybe you got a little too comfortable with the idea that Natalie was going to be there for you whenever you decided you needed her and then sort of fade into the background when you needed your space."

"You know what, why don't you save your Dr. Phil crap for someone else and actually give me some information that would he helpful for a change."

"Such as?"

"Tell me what you know about this Curran guy? You were his doctor, right?"

"I was and so there's the little matter of doctor/patient confidentiality."

"I'm not asking you to divulge anything that would compromise your license." John said and then waited for Mike to tell him something, anything that might help him get a line on this guy.

"I don't know what you expect me to tell you. It's not like there were mob bosses coming in and out of his room or . . ."

"What about family or friends?" John cut him off.

"Nope, just Natalie." He smiled, taking a perverse pleasure in seeing his big brother squirm.

"Kind of odd, don't you think?

"Not really. He was just moving here, he didn't know anyone. Some people aren't fortunate enough to have their family nearby." He answered pointedly.

John sighed. "Did you notice anything strange at all?"

"Yes." Mike nodded and John immediately sat up. "He said he liked the food. But I think he was just trying to be nice."

John tossed his pen on the desk angrily. "Okay, you can leave now." He stood and opened the door.

Michael laughed but then he turned to his brother with concern. "There is one thing, but I don't think you'll like it."

"Yeah." John said expecting more grief.

"I walked in once, after he had been talking to Natalie and he mentioned that she had been through a lot."

"And."

"He told me not to worry, that he was here now, you know like he was going to take care of her."

"And that didn't make you think the guy might be missing a few bolts?"

"Maybe, maybe not. The thing is, you were struggling, not knowing what it was you wanted. This guy obviously did know what he wanted and it might suck but you can't arrest him for it."

John slammed the door after him and sat down at his desk. He stared out the window for a few moments, wondering if Mike might be right. He finally reached for his phone and made a call. "Yeah, I'm going to fax over a drawing of a coin or a medallion or something and I would like you to find out anything you can and get back to me."

* * *

"Hey guys. I've been expecting you." Richard greeted them.

"We have tickets for the grand opening for you." Natalie told him.

"Thanks, I'm really looking forward to it." I also have some blueprints for a new airplane you can take to Jonas."

"That's great." She nodded absently. "Did Perry call you?"

"He did." Richard nodded and something in his voice made Natalie take notice. Something was up. "Come on out back."

She gave Curran a questioning look and he just shrugged as they followed Richard to the back of the building. He pulled a tarp off of a large item and then stepped back proudly. "Here it is."

"What the hell is that?"

"That, is a 1968 Camero." Curran stared at the car admiringly.

"Yeah, she needs a little work but the engine is perfect. I . . ."

"Wait a minute." Natalie interrupted before they were completely deafened by testosterone. "We can't put Aunt Becky in that.'

"Well, no it's not for Aunt Becky." Richard said awkwardly. "I have the urn inside but Perry and I were talking and I happened to mention that I just bought this car. He said his wife had a birthday coming up and she used to have a car just like this. Perry didn't think you would mind driving it down for him."

"I don't believe this." Natalie looked up to the heavens as if to ask "Why me?"

"Oh, it's no trouble at all." Curran said, taking a step toward the car.

"I don't think so." She said, snatching the keys from Richard. "This can ride with you." She handed him the urn Richard had brought out to them.

Curran looked down at the urn with a good natured sigh. "I hope the urn and the car don't have something in common."

"Like what?"

"I hope they're not both used." He said, lifting the lid cautiously.

* * *

Curran took the urn to the store to collect Aunt Becky while Perry met Natalie and showed her where to hide the car.

"I really appreciate you doing this for me, Natalie. I know it was asking too much." He told her as they tried to pull the tarp over the car.

"It was no trouble and this car is amazing. Do you really think she'll like it."

"Yeah, she loved that old Camero." He laughed. "She sold it after she got pregnant with our first child, said she needed a mommy car now. She used to love to drive that car, the radio turned up, and she would look so happy. The kids are all grown now. It's time for her to have that again."

Natalie smiled. Perry and Sarah gave her hope. They had been together for so long and they were still so much in love. She patted his back affectionately as they stepped back to make sure the car was hidden.

"Natalie!" Sarah's voice startled them. "Perry said you and Curran were coming for a visit." She hugged her warmly.

"Yeah, I thought you were playing bridge though."

"Well, of course I skipped that." She smiled. "Have you eaten? I just made some apple pie and . . ." She spotted the car they had so futilely been trying to hide. "What is that?"

"Well it's . . . I . . . we . . . "Natalie looked to Perry for help. It was a freaking car, how were they supposed to hide that.

"It was supposed to be a surprise, for your birthday." He told her and then pulled the tarp off with a flourish. He turned to Sarah expectantly but if he had been expecting jubilation he was to be disappointed.

Sarah's face had darkened dangerously. "Why in the world would you buy an old woman a damn fool thing like that?" She snapped and stomped back toward the house.

"Come on." Perry sighed.

"Why do I have to go?"

"Because I need moral support."

"Coward."

"Yep." He answered shamelessly as they walked into the house.

"I'm sorry Sarah but you loved your old car and I just wanted to see you happy again."

"I have never seen a more foolish waste of money in my life." She told him. "Here's your pie, dear." She said sweetly to Natalie before turning her wrath towards her husband.

"What were you thinking?"

"Well, I guess I was thinking I haven't seen you laugh or act happy in a long time and I wanted to see you smile again." He said getting defensive.

Natalie wanted nothing more than to slip out of the room but she was afraid of drawing attention to herself so she sat down at the table and concentrated on the apple pie in front of her.

"Smile, laugh, be happy." Sarah said. "We are not kids anymore, Perry. I mean what do we really have to look forward to now. The kids are all grown and have moved away . . ."

"Yes, hallelujah, the kids have moved out of the house and are doing great. And we may not be kids anymore but we're not dead. I don't know why you have to act as if the best of our lives is all ready over. Do you know what it means to have the kids out of the house? It means I can throw you down on that table and make love to you in the middle of the day just like I used to."

Natalie had just put a piece of pie in her mouth and she looked down at the table as unwanted images filled her head. She picked her plate up and pushed herself away from the table. She gave a silent prayer of thanks when her cell phone rang. "I'll just take this outside." She said but they didn't notice her as they continued their argument.

"Curran, I'm glad it's you. Sarah found out about the car and she is not happy about it at all."

"Things aren't exactly going smoothly here either."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, apparently Aunt Becky has just been kidnapped."

Natalie laughed. "How can Aunt Becky have been kidnapped. She's dead."

"Then she's been grave robbed. All I know is that when I went into the back to get her there were two kids high tailing it out the back window with the humidor."

"Why in the hell would anyone want to steal Aunt Becky's ashes?" Natalie asked

"I'm sure I don't know. I can only imagine that they don't realize that she's in there."

"Did you call the police?"

"I called Sam. He's on his way and I'm following the guys now."

Natalie remembered Sam, the constable, whose job of surveillance seemed to begin and end with Perry's store. "Why didn't you just call the police?"

And ask them to put an APB out on a humidor full of ashes? How would Perry explain keeping human remains hidden behind the cases of Yoo Hoo?"

"I wish you wouldn't put it that way." She shuddered. "Be careful. I'll be right there."

Natalie hung up the phone and was shocked to find Sarah and Perry standing behind her. Her mind flooded as she tried to come up with some rational explanation for the conversation she had obviously overheard.

"Give me the keys to the car." Sarah said her voice steely.

* * *

"Do you mean to tell me that you put Becky's ashes in that ugly humidor and just stored her?" Sarah said as Perry caught her up on the situation.

"No, I didn't mean to tell you at all." He mumbled as he tried to find something to hold on to in the backseat.

Natalie was on the phone with Curran who was keeping up with the fleeing body snatchers. She watched Sarah with a sense of awe. The Sarah she first met had been grandmotherly type: apron, apple pie, the works, but now she watched her as she changed gears and maneuvered the Camero in a way that would be the envy of any "Fast and the Furious" wannabe. She seemed anything but old or grandmotherly.

"Natalie, where are you?" Curran asked.

"Hey, Snowman, we're at your backdoor."

"What?'

"Sorry, I got caught up in the moment. I'm feeling a little like Sally Fields in Smoky and the Bandit. We're almost there."

"I can't believe you would do this, Perry."

"Well, honey it seemed a lot more secure than those cardboard tubes. The lid on those things can come right off."

"Why didn't you just bring her home?" She asked and Natalie and Perry exchanged a look as if wondering why such an obvious solution had never occurred to them.

"I didn't want to upset you?" He ventured.

"Well that makes sense. I certainly find the thought of Becky's remains being dumped unceremoniously into a smelly old humidor and being stored on a dusty stockroom shelf before being stolen by juvenile delinquents much less upsetting."

"I did buy an urn. I was going to give it to you with the car." He said and then winced as he realized that was the wrong thing to say.

"What, as part of my birthday present? Happy birthday honey, here's a car and your Aunt Becky's ashes."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Perry said quietly.

* * *

They met back at the store almost an hour later, defeated soldiers of a bizarre battle. Sarah went straight inside with Perry tailing behind desperately apologizing. Natalie sat down on the steps, feeling shell shocked. Sam sat down beside her, his hands shaking and his face pale. He pulled a flask out of his pocket and took a long drink before handing it to her.

"It was an accident, you know." He said

"I know."

"I mean it was just instinct."

They had coordinated things perfectly, with Curran following the car they had descended upon the would be thieves and with Sam's arrival they would have cut off any means of escape. Except that in moment of panic the teenage boys had hurled the humidor at Sam's car. The humidor had hit his windshield and dumped Aunt Becky's ashes onto the windshield. Sam had hit the switch for the windshield wipers without thinking and that was the last of Aunt Becky.

Natalie shook her head and took a drink from Sam's flask. Her eyes began to fill with water and she couldn't breathe for a moment.

Curran laughed and took the flask from her hands. "You don't want that. That stuff has been known to make people levitate."

"What the hell is that?" She sputtered and Curran gave her an amused look. "Oh."

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. You lied to me."

"I would never lie to you."

"You're the one who told me to trust my instincts, that I had more power than I knew, and that we could help people. I wanted to help Sarah and look what happened. She had to watch her Aunt's ashes being swished halfway across the county. This is a nightmare. I can't help anyone. I only know how to screw things up." She said as she stood and began to pace.

Curran put his arms around her and held her until a sense of calmness came over her. "Anytime you reach out to someone else with love and compassion, a desire to lighten their load, it is never a disaster. You have to have faith in that." He whispered, and pulled away so he could look down into her face. "Are you ready?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, letting him hold her hand as they stepped into the store. Curran had retrieved the humidor and sat it on the counter.

"Sarah, honey, you have no idea how sorry I am. It's just ever since your Aunt Becky passed you've been so sad, so unhappy. I didn't know what to do. I just wanted you to be happy again." Perry tried to explain but Sarah's eyes were fixed on the humidor.

"I'm really sorry." Curran said gently

"I had received notification from the school that they were returning her ashes and I kept waiting. She had left instructions on what she wanted to be done with her ashes." Her mouth twitched and Natalie felt a pit in her stomach as she anticipated Sarah breaking down. They all stared at her in shock as she began to laugh. "She wanted her ashes to be scattered."

"Well, I guess we took care of that." Natalie said.

Sarah nodded and laughed louder. She finally wiped the tears from her eyes and hugged a startled Perry "I am so sorry. I know I have been unbearable lately. When Aunt Becky died I looked at all that she had done in her life, she had experienced so much in her lifetime and I started to compare her life to mind. I've never been anywhere or done anything and it seemed that now it was too late."

"Sarah, that's not true. You're the most amazing woman I know and if you want to travel then we'll go anywhere you want to go."

"No, the truth is I can't imagine anywhere I could go or anything I could be that would make me happier than I have been here with you. I'm sorry if I lost track of that.'

Curran leaned close to Natalie's ear. "You see just a little faith." He whispered.

"Oh and Sam." Sarah turned to him. "I just want you to know that Becky told me once that she had always felt drawn to you." She said with a mischievous grin.

"Hells bells, Sarah." He muttered and quickly pulled out his flask.

* * *

"Okay kids. I am taking my wife out for an early birthday dinner and hopefully she is going to get me drunk and have her way with me so don't wait up." Perry said as he and Sarah headed out the door.

Natalie had never seen such a change in anyone as she saw in Sarah. She had dumped the matronly dresses and Natalie had helped her with her hair. She looked twenty years younger and hey eyes were full of life. She climbed into the driver's seat of the Camero and kicked up a cloud of dust as she peeled out of their driveway.

"How long before she gets her first ticket?" Curran asked.

"They have to catch her first."

"Can I take you to dinner?" He asked almost shyly. "I know a place."

He took her to a small restaurant and then they took a walk through the downtown and to a nearby park.

"Well, so far we have concealed and illegally disposed of human remains, been involved in a high speed chase and right now our surrogate grandparents are probably having elicit sex in the backseat of a 68' Camero." Natalie counted off on her fingers.

"And no one has been arrested."

"And no one's been arrested, yet. I'm really beginning to love the south."

"God bless Dixie." He said

"There's still one thing I don't understand." She said. "Why would they steal just the humidor?"

"Well my guess is that they saw all the brochures for auctions you sent him, maybe they overheard Perry talking to someone about the humidor and got the idea that it was valuable. It had been in the store for years so why else would he have suddenly hidden it away."

"So, do you think they'll give up their life of crime after this?" She laughed.

"One can only hope."

"I'm just glad everything worked out all right."

"You just need to start believing in yourself."

She laughed. "I had nothing to do with this unless you count being an accessory to however many crimes we have committed during this insanity."

"That's not true, Natalie. You of all people know how hard the world can be. Sometimes happiness and hope can be very hard to find and if you can play a part in bringing happiness into someone else's life than there is no way that can be insignificant."

They walked quietly together for awhile and at some point Natalie realized that her hand had become entwined with his but she made no move to pull away. She found herself studying his face. She had people in life who loved her, who accepted her the way she was because they loved her but Curran had this ability to see in her something that was a little better than she actually was, something that she truly wanted to be. "Who are you?"

She didn't even realize she had said it out loud until he stopped walking. He looked into her eyes and smiled. "You know who I am. I am whoever you need me to be"

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks for all the great reviews. I have been considering Gagirls question about Curran and as dumb as this sounds I'm actually a little stumped. Curran was inspired by many different things that he is like the Frankenstein monster of romantic heroes. I am a huge fan of old movies and especially Cary Grant ever since I was eight years old and my dad made me watch Bringing up Baby with him but Curran is actually more like Katherine Hepburn's character, Susan in that movie. Nothing ever really phased her in that move, not Aunts wielding million dollar trusts or leopards set looses on the unsuspecting Connecticut countryside. She was with the man she loved and that was all that mattered. He is also partly inspired by a character form a TV show called Mysterious Ways in which Adrain Pasdar, currently starring on Heroes, played an anthropology professor who investigate miracles. He wasn't the typical lead. He wasn't dark and brooding like Fox Muldor. He was kind of a klutz and a goof but he had this exuberance and his belief made him endearing. Curran is a combination of all these things and more so I never could pinpoint one specific example. I guess in essence he is an ideal and he can be whoever you want him to be. I know that's not a very good answer._


	12. Chapter 12

I don't think I will ever forget the images of those ashes being swept away by Sam's windshield wipers." Natalie said as they drove home the next morning.

"I guess we should just be happy that he didn't take her through the car wash."

Natalie looked over at him and found he was trying very had to hide a grin. "You think all of this was fun, don't you?"

"It had its moments."

"There's times I think there must be something seriously wrong with you."

"Why? I mean, yes I'll admit I've had a great time but I don't think that makes me unbalanced."

"You know denial is . . ."

Curran laughed. "Everything turned out okay, better than okay. Did you see how happy Perry and Sarah looked this morning?"

"I slept in their house, I could hear how happy they were last night." Natalie said uncomfortably.

"Now do you see? That's what this is all about. Perry and Sarah, Jonas and Abigail . . .'

"That's what what's all about?" She asked. "Is this about your weird notions again? Do you think we were brought back to be some sort of cupid for seniors?"

"Not exactly, but I think you get the general idea."

"That doesn't make any sense.

"Why not?"

"Why not? You believe that not everyone gets the chance to come back and live again but for some reason we were chosen to get that opportunity." She said and he nodded. "Well, why us? Why not Mother Theresa or Einstein or someone else who made a real impact on the world. Why would destiny pick us to come back just to scatter Aunt Becky's ashes across the back roads of Tennessee? We didn't make any grand gestures or perform any great feat, if anything we Laurel and Hardyed our way through the entire situation."

"You know in . . . "

"No, if you give me one more uplifting story about African tribes or Indonesian philosophies I swear I will burn your library card."

"That's okay I'll still be a member of the Book of the Month club." He grinned. "I was just going to say that's it's not always about the grand gestures, sometimes it's just about leaving things a little better than you found them."

"I hate it when you get all into sage mode, I still say it makes no sense. There has to be an easier way of cheering a person up." She said as her cell hone began to ring, she winced when she saw that it was Jonas. "We should be there anytime." She said instead of hello.

"Aren't you going to tell him we're stopping at Richard's?" Curran asked and Natalie put a finger to her lips, warning him to be quiet.

"Of course, we're really on our way." She assured him and then held the phone away from her ear. Curran pulled into the parking lot and they climbed out of the car while Jonas was just getting into his tirade.

"Do you have any idea what kind of mess you've left me in here. This place could implode at any moment."

"When I left everything was in such good shape the place could have run itself. What have you done?" Natalie was practically shouting into the phone, not just so she could be heard over Jonas but because she was getting a strange, buzzing interference on the line. A moment later and she realized that the buzzing wasn't just on the line, it was also coming from overhead, where a large model plane was making loops and doing barrel rolls.

Natalie exchanged a look with Curran and they walked around to the back of the building where they found Jonas trying to balance his cell phone and steer the plane at the same time while still rattling off his list of grievances into the phone.

"Come on, Jonas, things aren't that bad. After all, it's a beautiful day for flying." She said and then savored the look on his face as he realized she was standing right behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your way to the theater."

"What the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be keeping the swarms of locusts at bay."

"I asked you first and I'm the boss."

"Do you know a better way to get rid of an urn?"

"We could use it for a humidor." Curran grinned.

Jonas had been so surprised by the appearance of his employees that he had taken his attention off of the plane which did and unexpected and less than smooth landing. "Come on, Richard is inside." He sighed and followed them into the building.

"Can you believe it didn't fit?" Natalie told Richard with a weak laugh as she sat the urn on the counter. "It's a long story. I was hoping we could work out some sort of consignment deal.'

"No problem." He smiled but didn't question her. "Let me check this gentleman out and then we'll see what we can do."

Natalie let Richard get back to his customer and she turned to Jonas. "The place was just falling apart without me, huh?" She teased him.

"Well, I guess now you know the truth. I don't need you at all. I was only trying to spare your feelings."

"You know, you're able to come out here and play because I do such . . ."

"There is one matter I could discuss with you. A large and very pricey neon sign that is now hanging over my theater like a cheap motel advertising it's hourly rates."

"It's a knight. We are the Paladin theater after all. He's like our logo."

"He's like ten feet tall and changes from red to green to blue to white and so on. I'm surprised we don't have helicopters landing on our roof."

"You approved of the sign. You said . . ." She started to defend the sign but realized Jonas was no longer listening and had gone a little pale. She turned to see what he was staring at and at first she only saw Richard handing his customer a business card.

"Oh my god." She breathed when she saw what had caught Jonas' attention.

"What's wrong?" Curran asked, coming to stand next to her. "Well, I'll be damned."

Richard gave them a confused look and then glanced down at the case in his hand. "Oh this? I know it's really a cigarette case but I don't smoke so I use it for my business cards."

Natalie glanced at Jonas and tried to regain her composure. "Have you had it for very long?"

"Oh, I've always had it. It's really king of a cool story. You see I was adopted and my birth mother left a note for me in this case. My parents gave it to me when I was about twelve. You know, they thought I would be old enough to understand."

"I'm sorry, we didn't mean to pry." Curran said.

"I don't mind. I'm not embarrassed by being adopted. I have great parents and this case probably started my passion for collecting things. I always wondered why she would have left me a note in a cigarette case of all things." He laughed as he sat the case down on the counter. It was silver with an intricate depiction of the nativity scene etched into the front.

"Maybe you'll get a chance to ask her someday." Natalie said without thinking.

"Maybe." Richard smiled.

Natalie looked back at Jonas but his face was unreadable. "We have to go now." He said coolly. "We have a sign we need to discuss."

Richard obviously noticed the change in Jonas' demeanor and a look of concern passed over his face. He gave Natalie a questioning look and she just shook her head as Jonas steered them toward the door like wayward children.

* * *

Natalie pulled in behind Jonas' car at the theater and tapped her fingers against the steering wheel nervously. "You know that was a pretty big shock. We should probably go and give him some time to process what happened."

"You don't think you should go talk to him?"

"Me? Why me? You're the one in harmony with all this fate, destiny, divine intervention or whatever. You go talk to him."

"Don't be afraid. You can do this. It's just like with Aunt Becky."

"This is nothing like Aunt Becky." She snapped.

"I just meant that you didn't think that could work out either but it did. And yes it was absurd and it was a farce but that's okay because sometimes life is absurd and we need to be reminded not to take it too seriously."

"Is that your answer? I should just go over there and tell him to lighten up."

"Of course not. I'm just saying . . ." he looked into her eyes searching for the right words. "I'm just saying to trust the cape."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's just there's this song about a kid tying a flour sack cape around his neck and jumping off of his garage."

"How the hell is that helpful?"

"It sounded much better in my head."

"Curran, I swear I'm going to . . ."

"The point was that sometimes life is a leap of faith and all you have is your believe that you can fly. You have to trust your cape. You have to trust in your ability to help him. In some way you have been where he has been and you are in a unique position to understand his pain and fear."

Natalie sighed, wishing that she could deny everything Curran was saying but she knew it would be a lie. On some level she did understand what he was going through and that was one reason she didn't want to get out of that car. She didn't want to dredge up all of that doubt and fear.

"He respects you, Natalie." Curran said, softly. "And he thinks I'm your idiot man child."

She finally smiled and taking a deep breath she climbed out of the car. "Trust in my cape." She muttered to herself. "I must have done something really horrible in that past life to . . ." she hesitated as she reached the passenger side of Jonas' car but it was too late to turn back now. She opened the door and got in the car before she could talk herself out of it.

"The sign is not teen feet tall." She finally said after a few moments of awkward silence.

"It's not dark yet. That's when the reports of an alien invasion start to come in."

She smiled. "Jonas I know that you had no interest in searching for your son but . . ."I never said I had no interest in him." Jonas snapped. "But he is not my son. I never did anything for him. Abigail gave him life, made sure he had a good home, I'm just the man who got a girl pregnant and walked away."

"You didn't know."

"It wouldn't have made a difference. I was a small man back then, a selfish man. It wouldn't have made a difference."

"But you're not that man anymore."

"It doesn't matter. It's too late."

"Jonas, you . . ."

"I know you're trying to help, but you really don't know anything about this." He said shortly and Natalie started to get a little angry.

"I might know more than you think. I wasn't raised by my biological parents."

He gave her a surprised look. "You were adopted by the Buchanan's?"

She laughed. "No, it's . . . it's a very long and complicated story and we both know you don't have the patience for that. But I know what it's like to suddenly find yourself with a family you didn't know you had and you're not even sure you want, or if they want you. And believe me when I found my family I did everything as wrong as it could possible be done and you know what, everything still worked out okay."

"I don't deserve to disrupt his life, I have no right."

"Is that why you didn't want to search for him, because you were punishing yourself?" She asked but he didn't answer. "You didn't go searching for him and you found each other anyway."

"He has a father. He has a good father. I've heard all about him and I thank god that he had him. I could never be that. I don't have a parental bone in my body."

"You're right. You could never be his father, Jonas." She said honestly. "You just have to be who you are now, his friend."

"And what do you suppose he's going to think of his friend when he finds out I'm the man who abandoned him." He said his voice even but Natalie saw tears in his eyes. She felt a lump in her own throat at the sight of him so vulnerable.

"You didn't know then and what you may or may not have done doesn't really matter now. He's had a good life and he's a good man. He may just understand and see you for the man you are now." She reached out a hand and put it on his shoulder. "You have found your son, Jonas.'

He finally smiled. "I've found my son and he's a good man." He nodded, proudly. "He's healthy; he has a job he loves and a great wife. He's a very good father. He turned out real good."

They sat in silence for a long moment until darkness began to descend and the sign suddenly lit up the street

"Wow" Natalie said.

"I told you. We should be expecting the mother ship anytime now."

"I'll get right on that." She told him. "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded. "I think I am. I need to see Abigail and then, well, I guess we'll just see." He said and she reached for the car handle. "Natalie."

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

* * *

Natalie was sitting in her apartment later that evening, and in spite of all the chaos and emotional upheaval of the day, at that moment she just felt good. She hadn't heard from Jonas since he went to talk to Abigail but she had a feeling that somehow everything was going to be all right. She picked up a book Curran had lent her and had just settled onto the couch when the sudden sound of crashing glass broke the peaceful silence.

. She approached the window with caution and found Curran standing in the alley.

"Why are you throwing rocks into my apartment?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize your window was open. I forgot my keys and I wanted to see if you would like to go to dinner."

"And this is suddenly 1942, why couldn't you just use your cell phone?" She laughed.

"I thought this would be more romantic, like in those old movies."

"Vandalism was considered romantic?"

"I'll fix it. I promise. Does this mean that you're not going to go to dinner with me?"

Natalie laughed. "Well that depends."

"On what?"

"Well, you said you were attempting a romantic gesture but it didn't work out too good for you. Are you just going to give up?"

He smiled and reached his hand up toward her. "Natalie, my love will follow thee till the final trumphet blows, please descend from your lofty tower that I may spirit you away to a magical land of yore." He said gallantly.

"No, if you want me, you're going to have to come up here and get me." She taunted him, glancing down at the fire escape beneath her window.

"Alas, I must prove my worth to thee yet again."

He shook his head as he stepped back a couple of feet to give himself a running start. He grabbed the bottom rung of the fire escape effortlessly but before he could pull himself up several elderly women suddenly filled the alley. You get down from there you pervert!" One of the women yelled at him as she swatted at his legs with her purse.

"Ma'am, I don't know what you think but . . ." Curran tried to explain and keep his grip on the fire escape at the same time.

"Hildred saw you break that girl's window and the police are on the way."

"No, you don't understand." He said and attempted to pull himself up the ladder.

"Grab him, Betty." The leader of the geriatric vigilantes ordered and they held on to Curran's legs.

"Natalie, would you tell them who I am." He called up to her helplessly.

Natalie was laughing so hard she could barely breathe much less explain anything to anyone. "Don't worry dear. We'll hold him off until the police get here." They assured her.

"No, no wait I can explain. I'm coming down." She finally sputtered and hurried down the stairs. By the time she reached the alley Curran had given up his hold on the fire escape and was being held at bay by the ladies wielding an assortment of purses, canes and even an umbrella with remarkable efficiency. Every time Curran tried to explain one of the ladies would take a swing at him.

"Wait, wait please there's been a big misunderstanding." Natalie tried to explain. "I know him."

"So, you're one of those huh." The leader said with a look of disdain. "You think just because you're her boyfriend that gives you the right to push her around. If my Henry were still here he would take you out back and teach you to pick on someone your own size."

"What?! I would never . . ." Curran said but she started toward him with her umbrella wielding it like a cattle prod just as a police car arrived on the scene. Natalie breathed a sigh of relief. Here was someone she could reason with.

"Natalie? What's going on here?" Officer Johnson greeted her.

"So, you've done this before. They already know you." The older woman took a menacing step forward and Curran cowered behind the officer.

"No, no, this is just a big misunderstanding. You see Curran . . ."

"Curran huh?" Johnson said giving him a look of suspicion and stepped towards him.

"You see he broke my window and . . ."

"He broke your window. Sir, I'll need you to put your hands behind your back please."

"What? It was an accident." Natalie stared at him in complete disbelief. Curran shrugged but cooperated and Johnson shoved him roughly against the wall and took out his handcuffs.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?" Natalie started forward and the rookie cop who was riding with Johnson reached out and grabbed her arm.

"You gentlemen need to get your damn hands off of my kids right now." Jonas' voice suddenly boomed down the alley. They all turned to watch him stride into the alley with a look of utter confidence and power. His voice was calm and commanding and Natalie realized what an intimidating figure he must have been in the corporate world. The two officers instinctively obeyed him. "Would you like to explain to me just what is going on here?" He directed his question toward Johnson who was unable to hold his gaze.

"We received a call about a possible domestic disturbance. We had reason to believe . . ."

"You didn't have reason to believe anything. You wouldn't let me explain. Curran works here, he forgot his keys and he accidentally broke my window trying to get my attention. What is wrong with you?" She was still upset about the whole thing and she had never seen Johnson throw his weight around for no reason before.

"I'm sorry but just because you don't work at the station anymore doesn't mean we're not still going to look out for you. The lieutenants been doing some checking on this guy and I just thought . . ."

"He's been what?" She asked and Johnson blushed. She felt a new rush of anger and decided that she would be having a conversation with John very, very soon.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Natalie asked Curran after everything was finally cleared up. The senior squad from neighborhood watch had been very apologetic when they realized their mistake.

"I think that little one hit me with her bible." He said rubbing the top of his head and she laughed.

"And look at you, our hero." She said to Jonas. "Get your hands off of my kids, I thought you didn't have a parental bone in your body."

"I couldn't allow them to take my peasants off to jail."

"Well, it's nice to know that you're keeping noblisse oblige alive and well here in the colonies." She said. "Did you talk to Abigail?"

"Yes, I did. She took it very well, said she had felt a connection to Richard the moment they met." He shrugged as if he weren't quite sure he believed her. "We're going to meet with Richard tomorrow, and then it's up to him."

"It'll be okay." She tried to reassure him.

"Can you two be trusted to be left alone now?"

"We'll try."

"Thank you, Jonas." Curran said.

"Just listen to Natalie while I'm gone." He said over his shoulder.

"See, I told you, I'm your idiot man child." Curran shook his head and smiled. "So, do you still wish to go out to dinner with a knave who suffered a grave defeat at the hands of a gaggle of grannies?"

"No." She said and the smile faded from his eyes. "You just braved insurmountable odds for my sake. I think the least I can do is take "you" out to dinner." She held out her arm and with a laugh he took it, pulling her close to his side.

"You know, I just realized you never told me what happened to the kid on the garage with his flour sack cape." She reminded him.

"Well, no one ever told him that he couldn't fly." He looked down at her and grinned. "So, he did."

* * *

John felt her glare before he ever saw her. He looked up from his computer screen and saw a look of anger on her face that he had seen all too often before. "I want to know why you have people investigating Curran."

He rolled his eyes in irritation but knew there was no point in trying to be evasive. He knew she wasn't going anywhere until she got the answers she wanted. "I wasn't investigating him. Should I be?"

"Don't play games, John. Johnson nearly arrested him last night for a stupid laughable accident. What's going on?"

"How much do you know about this guy?"

"That's not an answer." She pointed out.

"I bet it's not a lot. No one seems to know very much about this guy. He drifts from town to town, never stays in one place very long, one menial job after another."

"That sounds almost snobbish, McBain. I thought you fancied yourself a champion of the working man."

"I just thought it was a little odd." He said reasonably. "He moves to Pennsylvania just to move up from stock boy to movie usher."

"What are you, his Kay? You're judging him just because of the job he has."

"That's not what I'm doing and what the hell does Kay mean."

Natalie couldn't answer the question because she wasn't sure where it came from it had just sounded right. "You had no right, john."

He stood and walked around the desk, standing very close to her. "You and I were pretty good as friends. We looked out for each other. I'm just trying to be that friend to you now."

He had always been able to get to her with this tender side of his nature and she softened. "Thank you, but you don't have to worry about Curran."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. Something just strikes me as a little off with this guy and I just . . . I just don't want to see you get into another situation like with Paul Cramer."

Natalie immediately stiffened at the sound of his name. "Paul? How could you even compare the two?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you but I know that I was partly to blame for what happened with you and Cramer but I . . ." John knew he sounded like an idiot but he couldn't help remembering that he had been part of the reason she had turned to Cramer for comfort. She could be impulsive, especially when she was hurting.

She should have been angry but she found herself remaining incredibly calm. "Maybe, that's part of your problem, John. You need to stop thinking of everything that happens around you as your responsibility, and that you are the only one capable of sitting things right. I have made mistakes and no one is denying that Paul was one of them, but he was "my" mistake. Not everything is about you, my life is mine to live mistakes and all. I appreciate your friendship but you are not my keeper." She said and turned towards the door.

"Don't you want to see the file?" He asked, not because there was anything for her to see but because he wanted to see her reaction, he wanted to see if there was even a flicker of doubt.

"I don't need to. I know exactly who he is." She said with certainty and walked out the door.


	13. Chapter 13

Natalie took one look at Curran and burst out laughing. He was acting as their mascot that night and he had gone all out to look the part. He was wearing a chainmail shirt that hung to his knees covered by a white tunic emblazoned with a red cross.

"What? I thought I cut a rather dashing figure."

"Oh God, would you look at that." Jonas muttered and Natalie couldn't be sure if he was happy or irritated. He was standing in front of the lobby doors staring out at the crowd who had lined up for his Grand Opening. "Do you think they understand that this is a revival house because if they think they're getting Lucas Sound and . . ."

"We've been advertising this for weeks, the posters are up and the marquee clearly states what is playing. What makes you think they don't know what they're in for?' Natalie asked.

"Have you read any warning labels lately? The average person doesn't understand the applications of Preparation H."

"Well, maybe the average person doesn't have a constant pain in the . . ."

"Isn't it time that we opened the doors." Abigail interrupted.

"No." Jonas gave the crowd a dubious glare. "We just waxed these floors."

"Would you listen to yourself?" She rolled her eyes. "We waxed the floors for them, now open the doors.'

"I've changed my mind. I don't want to do this anymore."

"I'll do it." Curran offered, reaching out to unlock the door.

"Don't touch that." Jonas swatted his hand away like a petulant two year old. "I'm the owner and I'll unlock the doors." He stood in front of the doors like a brave matador facing a charging bull. He squared his shoulders and reached back with one hand, "Curran hand me your sword."

Curran winked at Natalie as he moved to her side without relinquishing his blade. She could understand Jonas' nervousness and without thinking she reached for Curran's hand as Jonas finally threw open the doors.

The moment people begin to file into the theater she started to relax. They had opened the doors early in the name of PR and they would be doing drawings for vintage movie posters and season tickets. Everywhere she turned people were commenting on what a good job they had done restoring the theater to the way they remembered. She had several people share fond memories of first dates and she could see grandparents with their grandchildren sharing stories about what it was like going to the movies here when they were kids. Natalie knew that he would never admit it but everyone could see the pride on Jonas' face.

Curran was obviously enjoying himself too. He was passing out inflatable swords to the kids. She still didn't know how they had talked Jonas into that one, and greeting the customers as they came in.

Natalie laughed as she saw Curran being accosted by children and women alike wanting to have their picture taken with the noble Paladin.

"Curran, look, Richard is here." Natalie pointed when she saw him walk in with his family.

"Hey, I'm thinking it's safe for you to call this a success." He greeted them. "How's Jonas holding up?"

"He wanted to barricade the doors so the customers couldn't come in and mess up his newly waxed floors." She answered.

"So, he's being his normal self."

"He'll be so happy that you came."

"I wouldn't miss it." He said, surprised she would even consider it. "It's all pretty amazing, don't you think. I mean, if he hadn't decided to open this place we might not have ever met. What are the odds?" He laughed before walking over to Jonas and Abigail.

"It is funny, isn't it?" Natalie said, turning to Curran.

"That by mere chance they found their son after all these years and became friends before they even knew the truth."

"That too, but I was thinking it was funny that the most well adjusted person I know drives a plane to work."

Natalie paused, taking a moment to look around the room. It was only about half an hour before the movie started and the lobby was still packed with people. She found herself smiling as she realized how many of the faces she recognized, friends, family, people from the neighborhood . . . and John. She was surprised to find him here. He looked almost embarrassed as he crossed the room to her.

"Congratulations. You've done a really good job here, Natalie."

"Yes, we did." She agreed with a smile.

"Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened the other day. I shouldn't have been prying into your life."

"You mean like going behind my back and making decisions about my life." She pointed out.

"I am trying to apologize here. You know, just in case you've forgotten." He smiled and she felt herself begin to relent.

"You're right, feel free to keep going."

He shook his head and sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just I get this feeling about the guy and . . ." He stopped when he saw the look on her face. "I didn't stop caring about you just because we broke up."

"Yeah, me too." She said softly. He held her eye for a long moment until she finally had to think of something to break the silence. "I'm surprised to see you here. You were never a big cinema fan." She said, almost nervously.

"Well, I . . ." His words were interrupted by his cell phone and he quickly glanced at the number. "I've got to take this. Can you give me just one second."

He turned his back as he answered the phone but she heard him say the name Cole first. She knew from Starr that John had developed a friendship with the boy, was even becoming a kind of mentor to him but she couldn't deny that it was hard to be put aside so that he could talk to Marty Saybrooke's son. She glanced around uncomfortably and she saw Curran waving to her. He was standing in front of the doors and she saw him open the doors with a flourish and bow as Perry and Sarah walked into the theater. She hurried over to greet them.

"Natalie!" They greeted her with an affectionate hug.

"Hey, I was beginning to worry that you weren't going to make it."

"Well, we just did, no thanks to her." Perry gestured toward Sarah.

"We would have been here in plenty of time if it weren't for that unreasonable police officer. I still say he only pulled me over because of the car. Isn't that profiling or something?" She asked but didn't wait for anyone to answer her. "Anyway, I still say the speed limit was not clearly posted."

"You knew it wasn't the autobahn though." Perry muttered.

"Just be glad you weren't in a carriage crossing." Natalie said sympathetically.

They spent the next few minutes catching up until Jonas flashed the lights in the lobby, signaling the start of the movie.

"I guess we should take our seats. We brought you a little Grand Opening gift." Sarah said, handing her a brightly wrapped package.

"You shouldn't have done that." Natalie said.

"Oh it's nothing, just a little something to remind you of us and how much we appreciate all that you did for us."

"We didn't do anything."

"Don't be silly." Sarah patted her hand. "We'll see you after the movie."

* * *

Natalie turned to Curran after the last customer finally wandered off to the theater with his popcorn and found him struggling to pull of his costume. She resisted the urge to laugh and helped him get the heavy suit off. "Where did Jonas rent this?" she asked, surprised by how heavy it was.

"He didn't. I already had it."

"Why?"

He looked at her and smiled. "It's for my "knight" job. Get it."

"Unfortunately."

"Come on. That was funny." He protested."So, what did we get?" He asked

Natalie opened the box and pulled out the infamous humidor. She gingerly sat it down on the counter and then stepped back. "You open it."

"Why? Is it ticking?" Curran laughed.

"No, but it felt heavy. Make sure there's no one in there."

Curran eased the lid open and peered inside the humidor. "You'd better take a look at this."

"Why, who's in there?" She stepped up behind him cautiously, holding on to his arm as she tried to peek over his shoulder. "I think its aunt Becky!" He said and abruptly yanked the lid off of the humidor. Natalie jumped before she realized that all that was in the humidor was some pictures and she slapped his arm playfully

Sarah had filled the humidor with pictures of Aunt Becky as well as pictures of her and Perry. There were also tickets to an upcoming car show that she was entering her Camero in. Natalie looked through the pictures while Curran was trying to find somewhere to put the humidor.. He finally settled on a shelf behind the concession stand next to the Singin' in the Rain ice bucket.

"You're not really going to put it there, are you?"

"I think they kind of go together." He shrugged.

"I'm sure it violates some kind of health code to have an article that formerly housed human remains within so many yards of Goobers and Raisnettes."

"I won't tell if you won't." He said but she gave him a doubtful look. "Just come here and look." He took her hand and pulled her in front of the shelf. "Now look up at that and tell me what you see."

"His and hers?"

Curran shook his head. "No, it's like looking at our lives, two completely unrelated things but yet they're connected."

She stared up at the cheap humidor and the tacky ice bucket and tried to see them through his eyes. She felt as if she almost grasped what he meant but she just couldn't see it as clearly as he could.

* * *

John had hung up with Cole and felt a stab of irritation at finding that Natalie hadn't waited for him. He wanted to finish their conversation but when he got off the phone he found her behind the concession stand with Curran. He watched them as they laughed and talked together. He couldn't help but be reminded of what it was like when he and Natalie had worked together, when they had known everything that was going on in each others lives. She had changed. He sensed it every time that he talked to her. She wasn't the same person he had been fighting with ever since his accident. She wasn't even the same person she had been before his accident. He wondered just who she was becoming.

John saw Curran gather up the costume and walk outside to his car. He carefully stowed away the suit in the trunk but John noticed that when he shut the trunk the latch didn't catch. Curran had already ran back inside and, as a police officer, he felt that it was his duty to ensure the safety of Curran's belongings.He lifted the trunk and took a quick peek inside; just to make sure everything was all right.

* * *

"I tried to warn you." Natalie said as she and Curran stepped out of the darkened theater into the lobby. "I don't know why you do this to yourself."

"I thought I could handle it."

"You know how you get when . . ." She was surprised to find Viki waiting in to the lobby. "Mom? I wasn't expecting you. I hope you haven't been waiting out here long."

"No, I just got here. I hope I didn't come at a bad time." She said noting Curran's red eyes with concern.

"The reel came in for this weekend's movie. We always preview it first, you know just to make sure there's nothing wrong with the film." Natalie explained.

"Of course." Viki nodded knowingly. "So, what is the feature for this weekend?"

"Imitation of Life." Curran answered, quietly.

"I tried to warn you about the sad movies." Natalie shook her head.

"I love that film." Viki said. "Which version are you showing?"

"The 1934 version with Claudette Colbert."

"I always liked that version better than the one starring Lana Turner. It was a beautiful movie."

Curran nodded. "Especially the ending with the horse drawn hearse and when her daughter comes back . . ." Curran's voice broke. "I don't think I want to talk about it anymore."

"He always gets like this when we watch sad movies."

Viki patted his back soothingly and exchanged a smile with Natalie. Curran took a deep breath and straightened himself bravely. "I should go get the ice for tonight. You know before Jonas finds out the one we bought has never actually worked." He grinned as he walked out the door

"I just wanted to make sure you saw this." She handed her a copy of the "Banner"

"There's a write up about the Paladin." She gave her Mom a suspicious look.

"I didn't have anything to do with it." She promised. "The theater has generated a lot of interest and you should all be very proud."

"Jonas will be thrilled. He's been so nervous about this place."

"Well, sweetheart, it's very difficult for the small independent theaters to compete in today's market."

"It's not just about that. He's trying to recreate something from his childhood here. Jonas so desperately wanted to escape this neighborhood but this was the one place where he was truly happy. He clung to that long after he left here and if they had rejected this place it would almost have been as if they were rejecting him too. Does that make any sense?"

Viki looked at her with surprised amusement. "I think that was very perceptive. You must have grown quite fond of Jonas."

Natalie thought about that for the moment. The idea of being fond of Jonas seemed almost funny, like people who name their pet Pythons fluffy, but she had to admit she did like the old curmudgeon. "I think Curran has been a bad influence on me."

"Curran?"

"He has all these weird ideas about how this life isn't just about us, we're here to help people and sweep up their ashes."

"That doesn't sound so strange." Viki smiled. "Well, except for that last part.'

"Well, no, not in the abstract but . . . it's like the humidor and the ice bucket."

"Excuse me?"

Natalie pointed to the shelf behind the concession stand. "Those two items are sort of symbolic of the way Curran sees things. They have absolutely nothing to do with each other but he sees a connection, not just a connection, but a significance. Even though the people who own them don't even . . ." She passed for a long moment as she stared up at the shelf.

"Are you okay?" Viki asked."

"I'm fine." She laughed. "I was just thinking that the only connection between the two is me and Curran. You know, if John and I hadn't been having problems then I might never have met Curran and I certainly never would have volunteered to drive him to Tennessee. I have no idea what would have happened to Aunt Becky?"

"Aunt Becky?"

"I never would have met Jonas or smelled popcorn. Maybe he wouldn't have bought this theater and found Abigail. He never would have bought those posters from Richard and . . . this is starting to make me very dizzy."

"Me too." Viki agreed.

"I screwed up everything I thought was important. I got myself kicked out of the forensics program and I destroyed my relationship with John. I felt like such a failure but maybe Curran was right. Maybe he was . . ." she shrugged and gave an embarrassed laugh. "I think I've been watching too many movies."

"I really should be going. I still have a lot to do before tomorrow night." Viki said, glancing at her watch.

"What's tomorrow night?"

Viki gave her a look. "Asa and Renee's anniversary party. You haven't forgotten?"

"No, of course not."

* * *

Natalie and Curran ordered a pizza that night and sat in her apartment and made plans for an upcoming event. The neighborhood was planning a sort of block party to kick off the summer and Jonas' idea was to hold a 1930's type radio show out of the theater. Natalie was still surprised by how much she enjoyed working there. She had worried that once the chaos of the opening was over she would get bored but she found it anything but dull.

She absently tossed a note pad onto the table where the chess board was set up. They had been involved in this game for weeks now and she inadvertently knocked a piece to the floor. She knelt to pick up the castle and she looked at it thoughtfully as she turned it around in her hand. Curran knelt beside of her and she turned to him and smiled.

"Fast within the walls of somewhere. On the streams of bye and bye. I can see it's turrets rising. Close against the distant sky." She said softly and handed him the castle.

"Through its lofty hills I wonder. While the moonlight sheds its beams. On each treasured thing of beauty. In the castle of my dreams." He finished as he looked into her eyes. She lost herself in them for a moment and then she finally stood.

"You know it." She said, not really surprised.

"I love books and movies. It's the only time people give you permission to peek inside their dreams." He smiled.

"You know I think I finally got what you were saying about the humidor and the ice bucket."

"And?"

"You know, I kept thinking of the reasons why I lost John. I felt like a failure, like it was all my fault but maybe it had to happen that way."

"Could it be that you're beginning to believe in destiny?"

"I don't know if I would go that far but maybe we're like that chess piece and we just had to be moved to the right position. Maybe you were right about us being there to help.'

"Maybe I'm right about a lot of things." He smiled

"Do you want to go to a party with me tomorrow night?" She blurted out and then wondered what had gotten into her.

"Are you asking me out?" He grinned at her and there was no trace of smugness, just delight.

"It's my grandfather's anniversary. I know its short notice and it's not really a big deal."

"Don't worry. Finery suits me." He told her with a grin.

* * *

John stepped into his office and stared unseeingly out the window as he listened to his messages. Only one caught his attention.

"McBain, you owe me one. It took some doing but I think I found someone who might be able to give you some info on that coin. Here's his number."

John quickly grabbed a pen and jotted the number down and then sat down at his desk staring at the slip of paper. He wasn't used to walking away from something with so many questions left unanswered. His gut told him that there was something here but he kept thinking of Natalie. He had told her he wouldn't pry and he didn't want to risk losing her friendship if it was possible. He sighed, wadded up the piece of paper and with just a moments hesitation he threw the number in the trash.

* * *

"Did you give the chef at the Palace my instructions?" Asa asked for the third time.

"Yes, don't worry; everything is going to go fine tonight." Clint assured him as he tried to usher his father out of Llanfair.

"Of curse it will." He said with his usual bravado.

Clint smiled as he opened the door to usher his father out and found a young man standing there, flowers in one hand the other poised to knock. He was wearing a tuxedo but the shirt was open and the tie was just draped around his neck.

"Can I help you?" Clint asked with a bewildered smile.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I was just hoping . . ." he looked past them to where Viki had just entered the room. "Hi, mom." He said cheerfully.

"Mom? What the hell have you done now?" Asa demanded.

"Don't be silly." She admonished. "Hello Curran."

"Natalie invited me tonight and I came by to beg for help. Me and ties, you know." He gave her a slightly embarrassed smile.

"Come on inside." She said leading him into the study where she helped him with his cuff links and tie.

"I don't know how to thank you for this. I spent an hour just trying to pick out the right cologne. Do you want to smell me?" He asked, just as Jessica walked into the room. She raised an eyebrow at her mom and Viki just smiled.

"Hello, Curran" Jess greeted him.

"Hi. How's my . . ." He hesitated as he glanced at Viki. "How's Bree?"

"She's perfect. I just wanted to warn you that Natalie is here."

"Can you stall her for a moment dear? We've almost got this.' Viki said as she straightened the tie and stepped back to admire her work. She felt like she was getting her daughter ready for prom night.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think we have achieved irresistible." She told him. "I'll send Natalie in." She stepped out into the foyer where Natalie and Jess were talking and greeted her with a hug.

"You look beautiful." She told her, noticing that Curran wasn't the only one taking special pains with their appearance tonight.

"Thank you. Is Curran here yet?"

"Yes, he's in the study." Viki answered and as Natalie started by her she stopped her. "Natalie, be sure and tell him he looks nice."

* * *

Natalie had to confess that she felt a sense of pride as she walked into the Palace that night with Curran. She could see heads turn as they walked into the room. Curran was just as at ease in this setting as he was at the movie theater. He was charming but genuine and was even able to win Asa over almost effortlessly. She found her eyes being constantly drawn to him as they mingled among her family and friends. His eyes always met hers at those times, as if he were seeking her out too.

"You look beautiful tonight, Natalie."

She turned at the sound of John's voice and the way he was smiling at her made the breath catch in her throat. "You clean up pretty good too, McBain."

"I'm sorry, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye the other night but you looked pretty busy." He said and Natalie had to resist the urge to point out that he was the one who had to interrupt their conversation to talk to Marty's son.

She laughed. "I guess, my life is usually pretty crazy so I guess I didn't notice."

"Yeah, I guess so." He said, finding himself stealing a glance toward Curran. He was talking to Asa who was listening intently and smiling. For some reason John found this a little annoying. "You know, we still haven't been able to find a replacement for you at the station." He wondered why he had just blurted that out.

"Really?"

"Your uncle has threatened to put it a revolving door." He smiled. "The last one was doing her filing by the Greek alphabet or something."

"It can't' be that bad."

"Yeah, it is. Why don't you come back, as a humanitarian act."

"No." She said without hesitation. "I didn't want to just shuffle papers there for the rest of my life."

"As opposed to sweeping up spilled popcorn?" He said and winced. He was expecting a firestorm after that stupid remark.

"Leaf blower."

"Excuse me?" He looked at her with confusion.

"We just use a leaf blower to blow all the popcorn and stuff to the front." She explained with a laugh. "John, I know it's hard for you to understand and I know it doesn't seem like a very important job but I like it there. The theater is becoming a part of the community, it's more than just a place where people go to watch movies. We're already getting bookings from people who want to use it for different events. I'm a part of something there. I'm in a good place."

"I just thought you wanted more than that"

"I'm happy there, John. I never wanted more than that.'

Natalie had somehow sensed that Curran wasn't in the room anymore and she found him outside. He was standing on the edge of the fountain, tossing coins high into the air and watching them splash into the water.

"Making a wish?" She asked and he turned and smiled.

"And it worked." He said holding out a hand to her.

She hesitated for just a moment before taking his hand and letting him pull her onto the ledge next to him. "We can share one." He said, holding out a coin. He closed his eyes, placed the coin gently to his lips and then tossed it into the water.

"So what did you wish for?" He asked.

"You're not supposed to tell your wish."

"You can trust me with your wishes. How else can I make them come true?"

"What did you wish for?"

"I wished you would dance with me, right here, right now."

She allowed him to pull her into his arms and they began a slow waltz around the edge of the fountain. The thought of falling never occurred to her. She trusted him completely to guide her around the narrow edge of the fountain. The moonlight was cast sparkling light across the water and she laid her head on his shoulder. "Tell me a story about us." She whispered.

"Well, the first time we ever met you held me in not so quiet contempt. You thought I was little more than a scoundrel and no matter what I did to try and prove my worth you dismissed it as either dumb luck or villainess."

"I don't think I like this story." She said and he laughed.

"No, it was okay because it made me fight that much harder to prove myself to you. I wanted to stand out in a crowd for you."

"Is this where you do your Jack Nicholson impression?"

"You make me want to be a better man." He said in perfect Nicholson and they both laughed. "You deserve to have a man among men, Natalie. Then and now."

They paused and he leaned close to her. The moment his lips touched her she felt overwhelmed by emotion and sensation. She felt as if every sense were heightened and images and memories began to flash, fade and merge into one another, like a kaleidoscope. She felt as if someone where whispering all the secrets of her life into her ear. She felt him pull away and she heard herself whisper a name before everything went dark.

* * *

"Natalie." She woke up to find her father leaning over her.

"What did you do to her?" She heard John's voice, the worry and the barely constrained anger.

"I could never hurt her."

"Honey, do you know where you are?" Clint asked.

"On the ground." She answered and he gave her a relieved smile.

He helped her get to her feet and they led her inside where her Mom could hover over her. She saw Curran take a step toward her but John took his arm. "Why don't we just give her some space?"

Curran glanced at her, leaving only after she had given him a barely perceptible nod. John took his arm and led him back outside.

"Do you want to tell me just what the hell happened out here?" John demanded.

"I did nothing to harm her. That's all you need to know." He answered calmly.

"You're a real cool customer, aren't you. I just want you to know one thing, I won't stand around and watch her get hurt."

"Well, then in at least this one matter you will be able to find some peace. I will never hurt her. You have my word."

John hated his assurance, his calmness and he also hated that he believed him. "Why don't you just stay right here until I've had a chance to talk to Natalie."

* * *

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Viki asked

Natalie thought about it for a moment. She found herself recalling the night of Curran's car accident and she laughed. "Like I've been hit by a train." She said but regretted it when she saw the look of concern on her Mom's face. "I'm fine, really. Could I maybe get a drink of water?"

"Of course."

Natalie breathed a sigh of relief when she left her alone with Jessie.

"Okay, what really happened out there?" Jess asked.

"I'll tell you all about it but I need a pen first."

Jess gave her a strange look but managed to find her a pen. She quickly wrote a name down on her palm and then closed her fingers over it gently. "I kissed him."

"That's it? You kissed him."

"I kissed him and then I fainted." Natalie said, beginning to pace. "I've been kissed before but that . . ."she noticed Jess's amused smile and realized she was fanning herself.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It was just . . . it was timeless."

"Are you okay?" The sound of John's voice startled her and she turned to face him almost guiltily.

"I'm fine, really." She answered and prayed that he wouldn't press for more details. "Where's Curran?"

"Natalie, if he . . ."

"No, of course not. He would never do anything to hurt me."

"Then what the hell is going on with you?"

"I'm trusting my cape."

* * *

She stepped outside and found him standing there, his face turned up to the sky, the wind tousling his hair and the moon illuminating his face. the scene felt so familiar except that she somehow knew that she should be able to smell salt water in the air and hear the gentle rhythm of the ocean.

"I like who I am when I'm with you." She said and he turned to face her. "I've spent my whole life being afraid. I was afraid of being alone, that no one would ever or cold ever love me. I thought that would end when I came here and found my family but it was always there. I could never really trust it and that fear made me . . . I didn't always like who I was. I'm never afraid with you and I . . ." she paused and laughed. "How am I supposed to do this? Look at you." She said as she reached up to brush away the tears that were streaming down his face.

"I can't help it. Feel my heart." He said and pressed her hand against his chest. She could feel his heart racing beneath her fingertips.

"I just wanted to say that I understand now." She said as her own tears began to fall. "I was set apart for you and I have always loved you."

The End???

_"Belum..."_

* * *

"My Castle"

Fast within the walls of Somewhere,

On the stream of Bye and Bye

I can see its turrets rising,

Close against the distant sky;

Through its lofty halls I wander,

While the moonlight sheds it beams

On each treasured thing of beauty,

In the castle of my dreams

Could I take you to my stronghold,

You would ask that you might stay,

Where the birds in joyful chorus,

Chant the songs of yesterday;

Where the golden light of fancy,

Like some distant beacon gleams,

Guiding on to scenes of rapture,

In the castle of my dreams

Florence Barner


End file.
